Everyone looked at Nick and waited for his answer. “You...can’t just...leave me.”
“Nick! You know this has ALWAYS been my dream and now you’re saying I can’t go because you’re afraid of me leaving?” I said with a disgusted face.
“Well..” he hesitated, “..I just don’t want you to go off for a whole year, then come back and NOT love me anymore.”
“Nick, you know I’ll always love you! God, you’re being so selfish!!” I yelled. Everyone else in the room looked at eachother.
“So you ARE gonna go?”
“Yes, of COURSE I’m gonna go.”
“Then we should break up now before we get too attached to eachother and can’t say goodbye when it’s time for you to leave.”
I thought about what he said for a minute. “Wait! Before we get too attached? Doesn’t love qualify as an attachment? You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”
“Yeah, well maybe in this case it is,” he yelled before storming out of the room.
I could hardly breathe. What he said had hit me like a punch in the stomach. I sighed angrily and put my head in my hands. When I lifted my head, only AJ was in the room. He sat down next me and gave me a tight hug. “Wanna talk?”
I looked up at him. “Later, just come on our bus tonight.”
“Ok, I’ll tell Mary to stay on our bus.”
“Kay.....Once again, you’re the only one here for me,” I said looking at all the abandoned chairs.
He smiled weakly, “You know they all care about you.”
“Do they? How come you’re always the one that lets me cry on your shoulder? And only you tell me everything’s gonna work itself out?”
“Lindsey..you’re just upset.”
“I guess you’re right.”
~*~*~THAT NIGHT~*~*~
AJ and Nikki were playing Nintendo 64, so Aaron and I went into the kitchen. “So what happened with you guys?” I asked. He silently handed me the note Nikki wrote to him. “I didn’t...she never said anything to me,” I said surprised at all her words that she had hidden so well from everyone else. “So everything’s good with you two?”
“Great!”
“Did she decide she’d be your girlfriend?”
“Yep!” he glowed with excitement.
“I’m glad everything worked out for you and I’m glad you’re staying!” I gave him a light hug.
“Thanks. I’m gonna go play Nintendo.” he ran to the back of the bus and disappeared.
A few minutes later AJ came in and sat down in the chair beside me. “How ya doin’?” he asked.
“Awful. How could he not support me on this? He knows damn well this is my dream,” I raised my voice.
“Shh, I know.”
“He’s never been this selfish about anything before. It was just fine with him when I was gonna leave the tour and go home, but now that I want to leave to pursue my dream, he fucking freaks out and gets all mad!”
~*~*~ON THE OTHER BUS~*~*~
“Brian, how could she even CONSIDER leaving for a whole year?”
“Nick, you’re being unfair..” Brian began.
“Unfair? Unfair? What’s unfair is that Lindsey is taking off.”
“She’s right man, you are being really selfish. All you care about is what’s gonna happen to you. Well what about her Nick? It’s gonna be hard for her too. But, this is her dream. Your dream is singing and she’s not trying to stop you from full filling it. What of one day she said, ‘Nick, I don’t like you travelling all the time. I want you to just end it now and stay in Orlando with me.’ What would you say to her?”
Nick though a minute, “Well that’s different.”
“Why Nick? Because you already had your career when you met her and she’s just getting hers?” Brian stared at Nick and waited for an answer.
Nick shook his head, “Man, Bri, I thought of you-of all people- would understand, but you just don’t!” he got up off the couch and went to his bunk.
Brian sighed as Mary walked into the entertainment room where he was.
“Didn’t go so well huh?”
Brian shook his head, “Nick just doesn’t know how wrong he is this time.”
“In a few days, he’ll realize he’s wrong and he’ll apologize to Lindsey...just like last time.” Mary reassured him.
Brian shook his head again, “I don’t think it’s gonna work out as well as it did last time. I mean, Nick really has it set in his mind that he’s right and this is all Lindsey’s fault.”
~*~*~MEANWHILE~*~*~
“Lindsey, I think you and Nick need to sit down and talk about this. I know you can get through this and get back together.”
“No, AJ, as much as I love him, I just want to go to that school and go on with my life...with...or without Nick.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“Because you love him...and he loves you. Just go talk to him.”
“No, if he wants us to break up, that’ how it’s gonna be. The bottom line...I’m going to Cincinnati.”
“You’re really serious about this?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Then I’m behind you 100%. I’ll miss ya though.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving until December. It’s only the beginning of October,” I laughed.
“Good.”
“I think we should make sure Nikki and Aaron aren’t-”
AJ’s eyes got wide. He stood up and ran to the back of the bus. “AJ!! I was kidding!” I yelled as I went after him. I walked up behind him as he opened the door. Sure enough, Aaron and Nikki were sitting together on the couch with Nintendo controllers glued to their hands. “Told ya,” I stuck out my tongue.
AJ rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick laid in his bunk and stared at the ceiling of the bus. He was so confused about everything. He didn’t understand my decision to leave.
Mary interrupted his thoughts by opening the curtain to his bunk. She sat on the edge of it. “What?” he asked rudely.
“We need to talk.”
“No..we don’t,” he stated then turned over so he wasn’t facing her.
“Oh, yes we do,” she said pulling him back over to face her again.
“Please, Mary, not now.”
“Nick, just listen to me.”
“Fine.”
“Ok. Lindsey’s one of my best friends ad I know almost exactly how she thinks.”
“Then maybe you can tell me why she’s doing this.”
“Doing what Nick? None of us understand what the problem is with her going to the school. It’s only a year..and you’re gonna be busy travelling. She can come visit you, and you can stop in and see her, and-”
“It’s not the same.”
“Of course it’s not the same! But, Nick, when you love someone, there are gonna be sacrifices you’re gonna have to make. I mean..come on!! Because Lindsey and I love you and Brian so much, we have to deal with hundreds and thousands of hate letters from your fans telling us what sluts and bitches we are. But we have to take it because it’s who you are and that’s the price we pay to loving you guys.”
“But this is just too much for us to keep our relationship the same.”
“If Brian and I can do it, you and Lindsey can too.”
“I REALLY don’t think so. Thanks for trying though. It means a lot to me that you care,” Nick gave her a smile.
She knew it wasn’t any good arguing over so she gave it up. “Sure,” she replied before closing the curtain.
~*~*~THE NEXT DAY~*~*~
“Nick, get up! We have a photo shoot in like...20 minutes. God, get up!” Kevin yelled.
“FINE! I’M COMING!” he yelled back and got out of his bunk. He looked terrible and all the guys noticed it. His eyes were bloodshot, he had huge, dark circles under his eyes, and his bright blue hair was a mess. It was obvious he hadn’t gotten much sleep that night.
“Nick you need to wake up..NOW!” Brian said as they dressed for the shoot. “You REALLY need to spend an extra 20 minutes with Ang on your make up.”
~*~*~3 HOURS LATER~*~*~
“AJ, I need to talk to you,” I said as he hopped off the bus and walked into the hotel in Washington D.C.
“Ok, what’s up?”
“Well, I...” I looked around at all the roadies and the other 4 guys. “Can we go somewhere else?”
“Sure, we’ll take a walk outside the hotel.”
AJ and I walked outside and onto the sidewalk. “Ok, what’s wrong?” he asked concerned.
“Well...uh..Mr. Hurd called last night after you went to bed and..well...they have an opening and they want me to come as soon as possible,” I said looking down at the sidewalk.
“Well how soon?” he asked worried.
“Not tomorrow or anything. I told him 2 or 3 weeks.”
“Oh..” he replied sadly.
“I’m sorry, I know I said December but-”
“No, it’s ok. It’s not your fault.”
“Really?”
“Of course! I’m not gonna wig out on ya like Nick did.”
I smiled at him as we walked back into the hotel.
~*~*~LATER THAT NIGHT~*~*~
I was telling Mary about how I was leaving sooner than planned when there was a knock at the door. Mary got up and opened it. “Oh..my..god.” She almost fell to the floor when she saw the face at the door...