Once we got there we were rushed into the back examining room. They did the same exam the Dr. had done except they took blood cultures and urine cultures and a spinal tap {ugh}. My baby was treated well considering all they had to do to her. I was very calm until they had finished the last test then I fell apart, I cried and sat there and watched my baby slept more deeply than I had ever seen her sleep before. She slept for over 7 hours, she had never slept more than 2 1/2 hours straight before this. I was quite full when she did wake up. She nursed for 5 min on one side then 2 min on the other then fell asleep again, for another 7 hours. YES I did develop bilateral mastitis. 103.7 oral temperature and Drs. and nurses telling me to go to the adult's hospital across the street for treatment, none of us knew it was from the mastitis. After the first day of fever one of the nurses gave me a pump and recommended I pump and discard the milk so the baby would have an easier time latching on. I was in contact with a lactation consultant through all this but she never figured it out either. After 4 days they determined she did not have meningitis but a somewhat simple UTI {urinary tract infection}, and they stopped the one antibiotic with the most danger connected with it and kept her on the other 2 IV antibiotics. Her fever stopped after 3 days, and they tested her and found she had a birth defect in her urethras {the tubes between her kidneys and her bladder} She rated a 4 out of 5 on one side and a 5 out of 5 the other. Five is the worst, not the best. She was given a 20% chance of outgrowing it before she turned 12 yo. They informed us that most of the kids who rated a 3 or over needed surgery to repair the reflex of urine into the kidneys if she continued to get UTIs. I decided to commit to breast feeding her till the surgery was complete and she was all the way healed.

The next few months were very hard. Every time she cried and peed at the same time I was panicked that she was infected. She was getting antibiotics every night but I had many fears. We checked her urine every few weeks and each time I got scared but she stayed infection free.

When she was 4 1/2 months old I began talking to my Lactation consultant about the Post-Partum depression that was made worse by my situation. I had read an article where the weird ideas, mini panic attacks, were easily treated. She asked me for some examples and I told her:
(I would stand at the door and listening to the baby breath for hours at night, picking up the baby's foot to wake her up if I could not hear her breath.
Not trusting drivers to stop at stop signs when I had the right of way, and was out driving.
Weird images that if I handed the baby over to someone, they would not have her and she would fall on the table or the floor.)
I asked this woman if she knew of any support networks or group therapy sessions that would help. I did not want to use my husband as my psychologist because he was my husband. She gave me 3 referrals, one MD, one therapist and a group called Depression After Delivery and Parents Inc. {they are combined here} The next day was a friend's of mines birthday and we had plans to go out together to celebrate with our kids. The LC called and asked if I had an appointment, I told her I was on my way out the door and would get to it. We had a wonderful time out together, my treat. We had so much fun she took me out for my birthday, which was the next day :-). The LC called again just as we were on our way out the door. We had a great time again. The next day the baby's godmother came over to celebrate my birthday because she had the day off. I got a call from a woman asking directions to the house, she told me she was from human services and just before she hung up told me not to leave the premises because I had been notified of their upcoming visit. I was confused having thought they were from human resources from my husband's work not from Department of Human Services. They arrived with a car seat and informed me I had been reported as an imminent danger to my infant child. They read me the accusations:
I was a member of a failed 12 step program {al-anon).
That I was waking the child in the middle of the night by picking her up and shaking her {not picking up her foot and shaking it as I had told her}.
That I was having "fantasies" about throwing the baby against the wall, or the table {already explained that one}.
And refused to talk with my husband about what was bothering me { I had discussed it with him, he did not know Therapists who did PPD so recommended I talk to the LC}
From the list of accusations, I was able to accurately pinpoint who had called them. They decided my child was NOT in imminent danger and I could keep her with me if I agreed to begin treatment for this depression, with in 48 hours {Where would they have found a lactating Foster mother to care for my special needs child?}. I began to go to Parents Inc, and still am a member. After the investigation was completed, I was sent a form letter with a short apology on the bottom written by hand.

Just before my birthday I had made a friend and we started a play group, her birthday is the day before mine and our babies are 2 weeks apart in age. She and I exchanged medical backgrounds and became the best of friends. We even began to cross nurse our kids, it started because she had a blocked duct and needed to get the milk out fast, my baby was more than willing to oblige. We began exclusively baby-sitting for each other. A word of caution to anyone curious about this or wanting to do this: If it does not work or feel RIGHT for even one of the 4 people involved in this VERY personal intimate relationship then it plain old WON'T WORK for all of you.

Anyway, getting back to Tasha's ureters. When we had her 1 year checkup on her birth defect she had improved a little bit but still had only a 40% chance of outgrowing this problem of hers, and the test wasn't done till almost 18 months. At her 2 year check up I had to go to a teaching hospital, so this radiologist came in with all these little soon to be radiologists and read her study {called a VCUG} I will never forget his words "Although this child's mother reports moderate to severe urinary reflex in the past, I see no evidence this child has or ever did have urinary reflex to any degree" YES Whoo Whoo Whoo {this is me pumping my fist in JOY} Even the urologist admits that the extended Breast feeding could have helped her to heal so quickly, and completely.

Needless to say I had forced my child to continue nursing through the window of easier weaning around 1 year, so she did not wean till well after 2 1/2 years when my milk was totally dried up due to my next pregnancy, of which I have yet to complete.

I have been through almost everything there is to go through with Breast Feeding and am willing to talk to almost anyone about problems they are having.

Go back to the Breastfeeding page.