As soon as Brian drove away, Katie immediately ran to her bedroom and logged onto the computer. What did Brian say was their group again? Oh yes, Backstreet. She quickly ran a search of their group and got into some random web site. She clicked on Nick's profile and waited anxiously as her computer downloaded it. Her heart beat faster every second that passed by. Suddenly, on the screen, it had his full name-Nickolas Gene Carter!

It's the same name. She couldn't believe it. Could it be coincidence?

Born January 28, 1980. Oh, F---. She cursed under her breath. She felt nauseated, but she continued. She looked to see the names of his family members and at that moment, she knew! It was him! Oh, this didn't look to good. She had tried to run away from her shameful past for so long. And now, like a ghost, he had come back to haunt her, to remind her of a past that she wasn't too proud of, to punish her for the heinous crimes she had committed.

She wanted to start over. And six years ago, it was a new beginning for her. Yes, six years ago, she believed that she was free, that everything would be a blank slate, that time would erase her horrible past.

How could things have crept up on her without her knowing. How could she not have recognized Nick before-the same Nick which she thought she had . .. .. killed 6 years ago? She was so sure that he was dead. How could anyone survive that ordeal?

But even though she kept telling herself that she was starting anew after his death, the past 6 years for her had been ridden with guilt and fear-guilt for all the things she had done to him and fear for what would happen if people found out. Katie felt the tears burning her eyes now. Everything that happened in the past few hours were flashing in her mind as she recalled Nick's attitude during the whole night. If he were angry, he didn't show it. The strangest thing was that he didn't seem to recognize her. What was going on?

Katie stared at the screen, confused. She decided to find some photos of him to get a better look at his face. True, she had gazed upon him the whole evening, but she still didn't get a good look at him. She was surprised to find thousands of pictures of him, suddenly realizing that his group was pretty BIG in the music industry. Most of the sites focused on him, which didn't surprise her since of the five, he was definitely the most attractive.

After looking at hundreds of photos, she came to one conclusion-he could mask his emotions behind that smile of his pretty well. She wondered whether he was angry at her, but chose not to show it in front of the others.

After 2 hours on the net, she realized that seeing the photos wasn't enough. She wanted to know his news and what the media thought of him. But every site she logged onto portrayed him as this mischievous, carefree, fun-loving, innocent kid. Maybe, he's harmless. Maybe he had forgiven her a long time ago and that he didn't remember her. At least, that was what she hoped for. Before long, Katie grew weary and went to sleep, dreaming of the Nick she had known back then. She woke up a few times in the night, frantic and sweating as she recalled his blood on her hands.

Meanwhile, Brian had gotten back to Nick's place. He ran up to Nick's bedroom to find that Nick's bed was untouched, and Nick was nowhere to be seen. He hurried out to the living room where AJ and Howie were sprawled on the sofa watching tv.

"Where's Nick?" Brian asked.

"Nick? He went out to the beach. Said that he needed some fresh air and a little exercise," AJ answered.

Before anyone said anything else, Brian rushed out the door.

"What was that all about?" Howie looked at AJ.

"Don't know," AJ yawned.

--At the Beach

Brian drove furiously towards the beach, every second making him more nervous. What was going on? First Katie is distracted, and now Nick is in need of some fresh air. Things were starting to frighten him as he realized that whatever was going on was not something trivial. He finally got to the beach. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds long ago, and everything was dark. He roamed the sands to no avail and was about to give up when he saw a figure on one of the rocks farther out into the waters. Brian quickened his pace towards the figure.

About 100 feet away, he was pretty sure that the figure belonged to Nick. He sat on the rocks, pensive. Apparently, he did not notice Brian's presence. Brian quietly stepped towards him and could see his face now, although not too well. "Nick?" he called out uncertainly. Nick seemed to be startled a bit because Brian saw him jerk back. Nick turned around, shocked to see Brian so near.

"Bri?" Nick said. Brian thought Nick's voice kind of wavered. He walked closer to Nick, but as he did that, Nick turned his face away.

"What's up?" Brian asked casually.

"Why did you come out here?" Nick asked cautiously.

"I wanted to talk to you," Brian replied, and then added, "About you . . . and Katie."

Nick looked at Brian, confused. "What are you talking about?" Nick demanded. "What about me and Katie?"

This made Brian even more flustered, but he decided to continue with his questioning. "Have you ever known Katie before?" he pressed.

"No, why would I have known her from before? If I had, don't you think I would have greeted her differently at tonight's dinner?" Nick was upset. What was Brian trying to get at? Was he jealous? Nick did notice that Katie had been gazing at him strangely throughout the night but he didn't think that she did it out of lust.

Brian threw up his arms. "Nothing's making any sense. She told me tonight that you reminded her of someone she knew from the past, so that got me wondering."

Nick softened a little. "I don't know her Brian."

Feeling disappointed at his whole situation, Brian decided to try another route. "Why are you out here tonight? Why did you need some fresh air
after the dinner, Nick?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. I just felt an intense uneasiness for some reason and needed to go for a walk."

"Why?" Brian pressed on.

Nick started getting irritated. "I just said that I don't know. I just felt uneasy. I don't know."

"Does it have to do with Katie?"

Nick looked to Brian, frustrated that his friend doesn't seem to trust him.. "I don't know."

Hurt by Nick's curtness, Brian stood up. "Fine, if you want to be so cold to me." He started to stomp away. He stopped, though, about 10 feet away, realizing how harsh he was. He turned around and sat back down, this time facing Nick, and for the first time, he saw the few drops of tears on Nick's face.

Brian gulped, not knowing what was going on with his friend. "What's the matter Nick? You know you can tell me."

Nick closed his eyes and rested his head on his knees. "The problem is I don't know. I've never felt so upset in my life. I don't know if it's Katie that's making me feel all these things, but for some reason, images were flashing through my mind tonight after you and Katie left. I don't know what they mean, but they disturbed me. I don't know if they were images from my past or what?" Nick blurted everything out so quickly that it took Brian some time to sort through everything.

"What kind of images were they?" Brian asked.

"Honestly, Bri, I don't know if they reflect my past or what. Nick suddenly looked up and stared at Brian intently. "I've never told anyone this. Besides my family, know one knows." Nick said slowly. Brian leaned forward to catch every word.

"The doctor said that I had . . . have what's known as 'anterograde amnesia.' That means that there was some sort of triggering event that caused me to forget my name, my life-anything that happened before that triggering event. In other words, I don't know what caused my amnesia. Even my parents don't know. They told me that they found me in a river, unconscious when I was about 13-that was before I met you guys. And when they were able to wake me up, I had forgotten everything. I mean, they constantly reminded me of what I was like before I lost my memory. I don't remember. Whenever I tell you guys about my childhood, I basically repeated what my family told me. I don't actually remember stuff that happened in my childhood."

Brian sat there, unable to believe what Nick was saying. He thought Nick was going to say something about him and Katie actually knowing each other, but Brian totally didn't expect this. Maybe, Nick didn't know Katie. Maybe Nick really did remind Katie of another guy that looked like him. Maybe . . . Brian was so confused now. Not only did Nick not answer any of his questions about Katie, but he also gave Brian another problem to think about. "Wow!" was all Brian could utter. "I didn't know, Nick."

Nick became quiet all of a sudden. "I'm sorry I can't answer any questions you have about Katie. I don't know her. Maybe I did remind her of someone she knew before, an old relationship that kind of turned sour maybe?" Nick tried to offer Brian an explanation. He looked at Brian sympathetically.

Brian smiled weakly back. "Maybe that's just it. Maybe you look frighteningly like some guy she knew in the past."

Nick chuckled. "Please don't make me seem so haunting and scary. I don't want to give your girlfriend a bad impression of me already."

Brian had to laugh at Nick's innocence. "No, who could possibly think of you as scary and frightening?" But Brian quickly became serious again and changed the subject. "How's it going? I mean are the meds helping with the pain?"

Nick looked serious again. "I think so. I don't like to take painkillers and the tons of other meds that the doctors prescribed, but they do help with the pain."

"What did the doctors say this morning? Is the inflammation subsiding?"

Nick sighed. "They said that everything's under control, that what I had was an acute inflammation due to the kidney transplant, and they're hopeful that with aggressive treatment, they will get it under control. They don't want to have to give me another kidney transplant. Plus, they said that the prognosis might be worse if I do get another one."

"I'm sorry," Brian said dejectedly. He felt bad for putting Nick through anything, especially after what happened to Nick 3 months ago. "When's the trial?"

"It won't be for another 6 months-something about due process. I'm not too sure. The defense lawyers are taking their time, as does our justice system I guess. I've heard, though. . ." Nick trailed off.

"What?" Brian asked.

"They've been released on bail." Nick's voice was barely a whisper.

"What?" Brian cried out, exasperated. "How can they? Nick, after what they did to you? They can't just be released like that!"

"The bail was $500,000 each," Nick continued, ignoring Brian's outburst. "The government doesn't think that they're any threat to me. Plus, their father has connections and money. Bri, I have a feeling that I might lose this case."

Brian didn't know what to say anymore. He felt more guilty than ever that he had broached the subject of Katie with Nick. "I'm sorry!" he said glumly.

Nick remained quiet, lost in thought. The winds were picking up slowly. Nick loved the feeling as they brushed against his cheeks. He took in many deep breaths, feeling at once, comforted by their freshness. He looked to the sky, which was pitch black, and soon, he felt lost in their mystery, in their serenity. Both Nick and Brian sat there in total silence for about 1 hour when Nick finally looked at Brian and saw the exhaustion in his face. "Wanna go home?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Brian agreed, feeling cold and tired. "Let's go home."

>>>>>

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