Nick looked out his window at his little sisters and brothers playing in the back yard. His heart sank; he focused on his brother, Nathan. Nathan had leukemia and would die by his seventh birthday. Which just happened to be in a few days. No one understood him at this point. He hardly was ever around while Nathan was growing up.
A quiet knock on his door made him jump. Julie walked in and sat on his bed. "Hey Nick, I thought we were going to that new dance club tonight? Your only going to be in town another week or so," she said. Even Julie, his best friend, didn't know about his brother.
"I can't, I have to spend a lot of time with Nat these next couple of weeks,".
Julie gave him a look." Why? You never did before. Is he like dying or something?".
Water welled in his eyes and a lump formed in his throat. Julie noticed it, her smile faded, and her heart felt heavy. "Nick, he's dying, isn't he?" she whispered. Nick didn't answer. Slowly she got up and stood next to him, resting her hand lightly on his shoulder.
"Yes," he squeaked. He couldn't hold back the emotion; he just burst out in tears. Julie held him tightly. He rested his head on her shoulder, and cried. "Shhh, it's okay. Everything will be fine," Julie stroked his hair.
Nick looked over to her, all his feelings rushed into one another, and all of it combined like some kind of... something. He reached his lips to hers, the heat from her body seemed to calm him, and it felt like he was stuck in one moment in time. Nothing would change, nothing would disappear and nothing would continue.
When Julie felt Nick's lips touch hers, the taste was still wet and salty from his tears. She felt like she was going to melt. His kiss was filled with long denial. Passion, and force. But yet in its on way it was so good, so welcoming. She didn't understand why or what was happening. She didn't want it to end. He tasted so good, she didn't want to let go. She just wanted to pull him closer. Suddenly he pulled away, and fell into the rocking chair, hugging his knees close to him. Seeing him so upset, it felt like reality had just kicked her. He didn't mean the kiss; it was just a spur of the moment deal. He was just caught up in all the emotion. It wasn't real.
"Are you okay?" she whispered.
Nick's blue eyes looked into hers. "Sorry I was just...". Suddenly he was out of words. Nothing came to his mind. He snuggled his chin back into his knees.
"Caught up in the moment. It was just a reaction. I understand, Nick, you know that,". She smiled.
"Yeah, Thanks Jules," .
Julie got up and went to the door. She stopped in front of it, but turned only slightly enough so Nick could see the side of her face. "But it was all really good. And I would never mind if you ever did it again, because I loved it... and I love you,". Without even waiting for the response, she left.
Did Nick love her? Why did he kiss her? Thoughts ran through his brain, and it was giving him a headache. He couldn't talk to anyone about it, first off where would he start?
His brother walked in "Hey Nick,". He ran up to him and Nick pulled him on to his lap. "Guess what!". His face was glowing.
"What?" Nick smiled.
" In five days I'll be seven and I get to go on a trip to heaven to see Jesus! Oh don't worry I'll bring you back a gift, like you always brang me from your shows!".
Nick looked at his face, filled with excitement; he was holding a softball Nick had gotten for him from Germany. He felt one of those familiar lump forms in his throat. "Thanks buddy,". He hugged him tightly
"Nick is something wrong?" Nat asked.
"Naw man, me and my friend are in a predicament right now that's all," he replied.
"A what?!" Nat raised his eyebrows.
"Never mind," Nick laughed. He bit his bottom lip and smiled, he raised his hands and gave Nat a good tickle.
"Nick, I may only be six, but I am the master of females. I saw you kiss Julie today. If you love her, tell her, cause maybe someday she will be going on the trip to see Jesus," Nat said after he had caught his breath. The room was quiet.
"Thanks buddy, you watch way to much television. And don't worry, when you leave, you just wait and I'll be up someday to see you,". He kissed his forehead and pulled him close for a hug.
"I love you Nick,".
Nick felt tears soak through his thin white T-shirt, and he pulled him tighter. " I love you too, Nat,". He felt Nat's body go limp and he heard the softball drop with a clunk to the floor. His breath stopped and his arms slipped from around Nick's body. He was dead. He had died right in Nick's arms. Nick began to cry, and pulled the six year olds dead body closer, he wasn't ready to let go yet. "Please... Not yet... Don't go Nat,". He looked down at the angelic face. His cheeks were still a little pink, and his lips were set in a straight line. The still wet tears began to dry on the child's face. Carefully, Nick stood up and laid Nathan on the bed. Then he made his way to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway and looked over the people sitting there, just staring at him.. BJ, Leslie, Angel, Aaron, his mother, his father, and his baby brother new born, David.
"Mom, Dad, Nathan's dead," he whispered. "He died right in my arms, he is lying upstairs on my bed,".
His mother's eyes filled with dread, she handed the little boy over to Nick's father and ran up the steps. He couldn't stand it anymore. He jolted out the door, and he didn't stop running until he got to Julie's front porch. He just banged his fists, on the wooden door, as loud as he could. Finally Julie opened it.
"He's dead, he died right there in my arms, right after he said I love you Nick, I- I- I,". He began to cry in little whimpers, then they turned into sobs, uncontrollable sobbing.
Julie held him close, not saying a word. He let Nathan's words run over in his mind. 'If you love her tell her,'. He began to cry harder.
He snuggled down into Julie's shoulder and closed his eyes. He drifted out of reality, away from everything.
(AN * I know Nick doesn't have a brother named Nathan, he never did, and I doubt he ever will. I also know that he never will and never did have a brother named David. It just fit the story, kay thanks)