Zoe laid quietly on the futon. Nick was sound asleep. She felt dirty, again. But she couldn't understand why. This time, she hadn't done it for money; she had done it for love. She got up as carefully as she could, so as not to wake Nick. She picked up his shirt off the floor and slipped into it. She felt around for the door to the bathroom.
Zoe let the hot water run for a few minutes before she got into the shower. Then she just stood there, trying to let the dirt run off her. She picked up a sponge and scrubbed herself. Still the dirt wouldn't come off. Hot tears began to grace her cheeks, her skin became red. She closed her eyes. When she opened them again, all she could see were the scars. The were on her wrists. Every one of them, an attempt to end it all. But never succeeding.
She kneeled down in the shower, begging for it all to leave her. She finally understood what she had to do, she had to tell Nick, the truth, and he was the only one that could get the dirt off of her.
As calmly as she could she got out of the shower, dried herself and slipped back into Nick's shirt. She opened the door to the room, and was surprised to see Nick awake. "I thought you left," he whispered.
"I thought about,". Zoe had no other way to tell Nick but to come right out and say it.
"Why?" he asked.
Before Zoe answered, she walked over to the bed and sat down. "Because I lied to you, And I just wanted to leave it all behind, avoid the truth," She took his hand. "I want to tell you the truth now,". Nick's cheeks were turning a light shade of pink. "I don't want to hear the truth," he said snatching his hand from her.
"Nick please," she begged.
Nick stood up and got dressed. "Keep the shirt, I'll get another one," he began to walk away.
"Nick please, don't go, I need to tell you something,". She stood up and walked behind him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid her head on his back. "Please," she asked.
"Fine, what do you want to tell me?" he whispered. Nick knew exactly what she was going to tell him, it's been fun but I love another. But he listened. "When I was really little, my father brought a young man in our home. He was in his early twenties, late teens. I was only 12 not even quite a teenager. His name was Christopher. Christopher Bali. One night my father left for a business trip, Leaving Chris, to care for me. One night, as I went to bed, Chris called me over to him. He took me by my waist and lifted me so I was on his lap. He said goodnight, and gave me a kiss. But it wasn't a good night kiss, it was more of a 'I want you right here right now kiss',". Nick had turned to face her now.
"He... he had me pinned down on the couch. He forced everything onto me. And when he was done. He left me money. After that, I was really shy. Around when I was 15, I was overly depressed; I began walking the streets just to clear my head. One night while I was clearing my head, a man, pulled up to me in his black car. He smiled, and asked if I would have sex with him, he said he would pay me a large amount. I was already rich and didn't need the money. But I got into the car and went with him. More men started asking. I had sex with up to about 10 or 12 guys a night. That just made me sadder. So I tried to let it all go. Tried to lose it all,". She showed him the scars. "I felt too dirty to even touch my own skin; I didn't understand why nice guys in my high school would want to. Then I met Kelly. He treated me like dirt. I thought that was all I could do. So every night I got beat by him, My friends knew I was in an abusive relationship. They tried to help me, but I wouldn't listen,".
Nick held her tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder, she pulled away. "How could you ever touch me, I'm so disgusting," she cried.
Nick, sighed and pulled her forward. He kissed her forehead. "You're not dirty, or disgusting, you're beautiful.".
She sobbed harder.
" Zoe you'll always be beautiful in my eyes,". He kissed her nose.
She smiled.
"I love you," he whispered.