Zoe sat on the beach; the wind was blowing through her hair. She laughed. It had been a month and a few weeks since she and Nick, broke up. Now she was on the beach with Colt Beck. She couldn't fill that empty space in her heart..
But there was no way she was going back to Nick. Not after the things he'd said, the things he did.
"Honey?" a voice called.
"Huh?" Zoe looked up and didn't realize she had been ignoring Colt.
"Sorry just a lot of things on my mind," she whispered. She smiled like nothing was wrong. Colt held out his hand to help her up. She took it then brushed off her skirt. Zoe turned around quickly, and bumped right into Nick's chest.
"Nick," she whispered. Nick looked awful. It looked like he hadn't washed his cloths in days maybe even weeks, his hair needed badly washed and combed. His breath... well let's not get into that. He really needed to shave; he almost had a full-grown mustache. All the emotions came swelling back.
"Colt, can you wait for me at the car?" she asked. Colt hesitated but left.
Slowly she reached her hand out to touch his. "Nick," she began. "There are so many things I want to say to you. But now that you're here, I wish I could remember them all,".
Nick gave her hand a squeeze, "Zoe all you have to say is just one word. Please come back with me," he begged.
Zoe's emotions began to over fill and tears began to streak her face. "No, I...".
He cut her off. "There that's all there is to be said," Nick's voice cracked. And he began to walk away.
Zoe grabbed his hand and pulled him back, he turned quickly, she got so scared he was going to hit her that she blocked herself.
"Look what I've done to you," Nick whispered falling to his knees and covering his face with his hands.
"Nick I want to come back to you. But after the things you said and did, I don't think I could ever do it again,". She touched his face. "You need to shave," she laughed weakly, but Nick just cracked a smile.
"I couldn't stand to be without you. I got my job back, but Howie, Brian and AJ won't talk to me. Kevin hardly says a word unless he has to. I know I deserve it, but I miss you so much Zoe,". Zoe looked into his blue eyes. They were so full of pain, and... something else, but she couldn't understand what. She could tell he was sincere, but she was so afraid.
"Nick, you took so much from me. You took my pride, my dignity, my self -esteem, and you took my family. Sometimes I wish I had never met you, and sometimes I'm glad I did, Sometimes I thank you for what you've given me...".
Nick gave her a confused look.
"Love... for 19 years I had never felt something like that. Not even close. Colt doesn't come close to filling that void Nick. Only you can. You are the only man I've ever loved, and love.. But right now, Right now just isn't right. Maybe in the later future, when I try to put the past behind me, but right now its still an open wound, And it still hurts and its too fresh in my mind,".
They sat in silence for a moment. "You know what I always loved about you?" Nick asked.
"No. What did you always love?".
Nick smiled. "They way you spoke, you would speak like you were saying a poem. It sounded so beautiful to me,". Zoe blushed, but then returned her gaze to his.
"I have to go on tour tonight, I'll miss you," he said standing up.
"And I'll miss you. I already do," she hugged him but then groaned. "I also miss how clean you use to be," She laughed a little, but then Nick took her chin and tilted it so she was staring directly at him.
"Zoe, when I come back, I promise you, with all my heart and soul, and everything I am made up of, that I will rekindle that lost affection,". He kissed her cheek and walked away.
Zoe was speechless. "You promise!" she called.
Nick turned around and began to walk backwards. He stuck his right hand in the air, and smiled. "I promise!". He blew her a kiss, a few minutes later he was out of sight.
© May 2000
Nicky Arrigo.