nine

"Hey guys." says Nick.

"Hey." they say in unison.

"What's up Little Man?" asks Kevin. "You said you had something to tell us."

Nick sighs heavily. "I want y'all to hold another press conference. I ... I want everyone to know the truth."

"Nick are you sure?" asks Howie. "We all know how you want to keep your private life private."

"Yeah I'm sure. For starters I don't want the backlash when the truth comes out and y'all know the truth always come out. Also maybe we got some fans out there going through the same thing and it'll help them face their problems knowing that I'm owning up to mine. I think by telling the truth it'll cut down on a lot of questions and rumors, not make them stop entirely but cut down on em." He chews his bottom lip while waiting for a response from the guys.

Brian steps forward and hugs him. "Whatever is best for you Bro, we'll do it."

AJ and Howie sandwich Nick in a group hug. "We're behind ya, Kaos, all the way." says AJ.

"We'll help you anyway we can Nicky." states Howie.

Nick looks to his oldest brother hoping he will feel the same as the rest. Kevin grabs Nick's shoulders and pulls him into a bear hug. "Your health and peace of mind is most important Little Man."

"Thanks guys." Nick breathes a sigh of relief. "Um I was thinking that MTV might be the best place to give the news, maybe on TRL, actually that way it won't be as frantic as a press conference."

The rest of the Boys look at one another then nod at Nick simultaneously answering, "Yeah, cool."

"What's cool?" asks Isabella entering the room.

"I just talked to the guys about going on TRL and giving the true story about what's going on with me."

"I'm glad you guys are so supportive of Nick."

"He's our little brother, what else can we do?" replies Brian.

"Hey Izzy, why don't you come to New York with us and go on TRL?" asks Howie.

"Why?!" she asks surprised.

"You're who helped Nicky see he needs help, plus you were supposed to do an interview anyway about being on tour with us."

She looks at Nick then back to Howie and the others. "No I want to stay with Nick while he gets settled into the clinic and treatment."

"Well maybe you can do both." suggests Nick. "Like go with me to the clinic and then you and the guys can go to New York the day after tomorrow. We've waited this long I don't think two more days will cause too much trouble."

"W... well what do... do I say?" stammers Isabella not liking the thought of being on TV even though she knew it was coming if things had gone as planned.

"Just answer the questions honestly." says Nick. He pulls her close and looks deep into her eyes. "Bella you're strong, I know you are. If you can support me through all this you can certainly face a TV camera."

She just smiles up at him but thinks to herself, *"I have reason to support you, I love you. I just hope I don't slip up and say that on camera before I can say it to you and know you believe it."*

*The next day at the clinic*

"Hello Nick. I'm Dr. Maxwell." says a woman shaking his hand.

"Hi." says Nick solemnly. "I think you've already met my mom and dad. This young lady is Isabella Spencer."

"Yes, Bob, Jane nice to see you again. Hello Isabella. Bob and Jane told me how you have been helping Nick. We usually only allow immediate family to be with the patient the first couple weeks but I think in your case we can make an exception." She looks back to Nick. "Let's get you settled into your room shall we?"

"Sure."

Isabella knows how bad he feels and gently rubs his back to comfort him. He gives her a sweet smile.

They enter the room. It is small but spacious. There is a twin bed in the middle of the room, bay window taking up the whole wall on the far side of the room, a 19-inch television on the wall directly across from the bed, and a comfy recliner on the other side of the bed. "This is the bathroom but you have to have a nurse unlock it for you when you need to use it." says Dr. Maxwell.

"Why?" asks Nick.

"Because of the bulimia. Even though you've not done it in a few days it doesn't mean you might not again so just as a precaution..."

Nick nods. "Okay, I understand. It's okay."

"Well I'll let you get settled and come back later."

Nick just feigns a smile and nods.

After the doctor leaves Jane notices Isabella lovingly yet despondently watching Nick. "Bob why don't we leave Nick and Isabella alone?"

Bob smiles. "I think that would be a good idea. Nick, Isabella we'll be back later alright?"

"Yeah, fine." they both say.

They leave and Nick flops down on the bed and sighs. Isabella sits beside him and rubs his back once again. "It'll be okay." she assures in a gentle voice.

"Will it?" asks Nick flatly. Isabella doesn't know what to say. She reaches up to run her hand through his hair but he pushes it away. He buries his face in his hands and groans, "Oh, how did I get here?"

"Why don't you tell me? What happened to make you do this to yourself?" she asks with tears in her voice.

Nick becomes choked up too. "It was my dream to sing, to be onstage. I just didn't know how hard it would be. Don't get me wrong I love performing and seeing the happy faces of the fans but.... the invasion of privacy and people telling you they love you when they don't know you." He stops for a moment. "Then my parents got money crazy and even hungry for fame with Mom kinda stepping into my light. And all that crap with Mitzi, she made me think someone loved ME but no, all she wanted was an easy record deal. How could I have been so stupid?"

"Nick you're not stupid. She is a good actress and you were vulnerable."

"But I shouldn't have been."

"But you were and no one can blame you for being. Mitzi's the only one at fault for taking advantage of a sweet guy. But I still don't see how you let your pain lead to hurting yourself."

He's quiet at first than says, "I only think about what I've done to everyone else. Maybe it'd been better if I'd never been born."

Isabella's heart stops at his words. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" Nick looks at her stunned and confused by her reaction. "The world would be a sad place without you. You just said you love seeing the happy faces of the fans, they need that angelic voice of yours to make them feel good. Your parents they love you so much even if they got a little screwy of showing it. Your siblings adore you to no end. And the guys, they'd be short a little brother and they wouldn't want that." Then she thinks but doesn't say to him, "And me, I'd die if anything ever happened to you."

"Bella thank you. I really don't understand why you're doing this but thank you."

"You have no idea how welcome you are."

Nick decides to change the subject. "So you and the guys are leaving for New York tomorrow?"

"Yeah. They've got it set up for John Norris to interview us on TRL. Nick.... what if he asks me how I found out? I told your dad the other night when he asked but this is national TV."

"Just tell." Nick answers point blank. "I can't believe I was able to get away with it as long as I did without someone finding out. Maybe it's cause you wanna be a nurse so you knew what to look for, or maybe it's cause the guys didn't care enough to look closer. I don't want to think that's it though."

"I can't speak for the guys but I think they love you and they just... were hoping it wasn't anything like this so perhaps they were in denial about how bad it was. Thinking you were just depressed and not doing yourself physical harm."

Nick smiles thinking about great times he's had with his older brothers. "Yeah you're probably right."

Isabella takes his hand and looks into his blue eyes. "Nick I want you to make a promise to yourself. Promise you will get yourself better for your sake. Just think about Nick not everyone else, think about what you have done to YOU; once you get that together than everything with everyone else should fall into place easily."

He grabs her in a tight hug. "Oh I'm so glad you're here."

She thinks, "So am I, I love you Nick."

>>>

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