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A few days passed and Brian wasn't getting any better. One day, Denise was in Kevin's kitchen. She opened the silverware drawer and found a big knife. She took it out and pointed it to her heart. She was about to stab herself. "NO!!!!!" Kevin yelled.

"What? You don't care anyway!" Denise said back. She took the knife and tried it again.

Kevin knocked the knife out of her hand. "What do you mean I don't care? I care a lot. What is wrong with you?"

"My boyfriend is gonna die, I might as well die too!"

"What?"

"Brian isn't getting any better, and you know he is gonna die. No one cares about me. My mom sure as heck doesn't. She let me come down here and she said for me to stay. I guess that means I have to live with either you, Brian, or find a place of my own. No one cares and no one will." She picked up the knife and tried to stab herself again.

"Would you stop?" Kevin said as he grabbed the knife. " I know a lot of people that care about you."

"Like who?"

"Well, Brian for one, and me, your friends, the rest of the guys. Denise, a lot of people care about you. You just don't know it."

Denise broke down and cried right there. "Kevin, he's gonna die. Can't you see? He isn't getting any better, he looks bad, and he can barely chew his food! Kevin, if he don't get a chance to live, I don't want to either."

"Don't say that. Like I said, there are a lot of people that care about you. People that love you. Your mom may not but I'm sure your dad does."

"I don't have a dad."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Neither do I."

"I know. I want to go see Brian."

"Just don't try to kill yourself again. You made me mad. Now, let's go."

Denise and Kevin went to the hospital. Denise was happy to see Brian. "Hey baby. What's up?" Brian asked.

Denise looked at Kevin. Kevin nodded his head signing to tell him what happened. "I tried to kill myself earlier." Denise said.

"You what? Why?"

"Well, if you"

"What? If I die?"

"Yeah, I want to be there with you. You are like a big brother to me. Like you are to Nick. Now, that I'm going out with you, and you may not live, and if you don't, I don't want to either."

"I'm not gonna die. Watch and see. I'll get better."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I'm always right." Brian smiled.

"Yes, you are honey."

"Brian Thomas Littrell! Where are you?" someone yelled out in the hall.

"Uh-oh. Who's that?" Brian asked.

Leighanne came running in the room. "Brian, I'm so sorry we broke up. If it's okay, can we get back together?" Leighanne asked.

"Leigh, I'm taken. Sorry."

"What? UGH! Great, just great."

"Sorry, but you said you hated me. And please don't yell."

"Sorry. So, who's the girl? She should be here with you."

"She's right here. Denise, I believe you know Leigh."

"Yeah, I know her." Denise said.

"Her? She's your best friend! Now, she your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, you have a problem with that? You can't boss me around anymore. I'm not your boyfriend!"

"Fine. I'm leaving. Goodbye Brian."

Leighanne left. "She bossed you around?" Denise asked.

"Yeah. She made me do everything. I had to answer the phone when she was sitting right next to it, make her dinner, clean the house, do the dishes; she made me do almost everything. All she ever did was sit down and read her scripts." Brian said.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I would have straightened her out."

"I didn't tell you because I thought you didn't care. I know I shouldn't think that but I did."

"Brian, I care about you. I always have and always will. I just wish someone would say that to me."

"I care about you. We have been friends for how long now? Denise, I have cared about you since you told me about your heart problems. I have cared about you. I'm sure a lot of people do also." "My mom sure doesn't. She said for me to leave and to stay down here. She told me to go on my own since I'm 18, but I'm gonna be 19 next month. Next month is January, right? Christmas is right around the corner. She said for me to never come back."

"She did? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would have let you stay with me. Where are you gonna stay? Where are your friends gonna stay?"

"I don't know. Cass and Nicole already live on their own. I don't have a place to stay."

"You can stay with me. I mean, when I get out of here. You and your friends, if they want to, can stay with me. I don't mind. I have a big enough house also."

"Oh, thank you Brian. I love you. I need to ask them. Hold on." Denise called Nicole and Cassie. She asked if they wanted to come and live with her. They were best friends for a long time; they have gotten to know too much about each other. Nicole said she would. Cassie said that if she did, she would have to bring her pets. Denise asked Brian if she can and, of course, he said yes.

Denise's cell phone rang. "Hello?" Denise asked.

"Hey, I haven't called you or seen you in a while. Where are you?" Denise's boyfriend, Jason asked.

"Jas? I can't go out with you anymore, um, sorry." Denise hung up.

"Who's Jas?" Brian asked.

"Oh, um, my ex boyfriend. No one that important."

"Oh, so you just broke up with him just now?"

"Brian, I'm so sorry. I forgot all about him. Brian, please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. Just a little angry that you agreed to date me while you were still in an relationship."

"You said you weren't gonna be mad!"

"I said I wasn't mad."

"No, you're mad. I'll leave you alone and come back later."

Denise left the room, Brian in tears. She went back to Kevin's house. No one else was home. She took the same knife as before and stabbed herself. She fell to the floor. No one there to see her. No one to catch her, to stop her, to remind her of all the people that loved her.

An hour passed, Kevin walked in the door. "Oh my God!" Kevin yelled. He checked Denise's pulse, there was none. He called an ambulance. The ambulance came in about 2 minutes. He took off and drove to the hospital. He followed the ambulance to see that it went to the hospital Brian was at.

Kevin ran to the ambulance crew. " Is she gonna be okay?" Kevin asked.

"We aren't sure. She stabbed right near her heart. It has been done when no one was home," the crewman said. "We are taking her to the ER and I'll come and get you when we find out more. I take it you are her dad?"

"No, her boyfriend's cousin. I'm her friend. Her boyfriend is in the hospital. Room 249B. I'll be in there."

"Okay."

Kevin ran to Brian's room. "Brian, Denise she" Kevin started.

"Denise what? Kevin, what?" Brian asked loudly.

"She stabbed herself."

"What? She stabbed herself? Where is she? Is she okay? When did this happen?"

"She's in ER. It happened about an hour ago. The people said that they don't know if she'll be okay. She stabbed near her heart."

"It's my fault. I got mad at her earlier. She left. I cried. Kevin, it's my fault!"

"Oh, Brian. It isn't your fault. She wanted to be there with you if you died. Brian, it isn't your fault. Don't worry about it. She'll be okay."

Brian hugged Kevin. He was crying. "Kevin, if she goes, I want to go."

"Don't say that!"

After three hours, Kevin was allowed to see Denise. " Denise? Can you hear me?" Kevin asked Denise.

"Um, she is unconscious. She can hear you, she can't answer. I'm sorry." Dr. Chavere said.

"Thank you. Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Is she gonna be okay?" The doctor didn't answer. "Is she?"

"We don't think so. I mean, the knife was too sharp, and she came an inch from her heart. We just have to wait and find out."

"Thank you." Kevin sat there thinking about what happened and what Brian said. "Hey Denise. Why did you do that? Brian is really mad, you know. I know you can hear me. I'll be right back."

Kevin went back to Brian's room. Nicole and Cassie were in there. "Where is Denise?" Nicole asked.

"I'm taking Brian to see her. We need a wheelchair and the IV pole." Kevin replied.

"Where is she?"

"She's in ICU. Nicole, I'm so sorry."

"What happened? Is she alright?"

"She tried to kill herself. She might not live."

"Wh why?"

"I don't think you want to know." Kevin put Brian in the wheelchair and took the IV pole. "I'll push him." Cassie said.

They followed Kevin to Denise's room. Before they opened the door, they talked. "She is unconscious. She can hear you, but she won't answer." Kevin explained.

They went into the room. "Kevin, explain to me why she may not live." Nicole demanded.

"The knife was too close to her heart. It was too sharp." Kevin said.

"My God. Why would she do this to herself?"

"She said if Brian died, she wants to be there with him. I take it she thought he was gonna die since he was getting worse and not better."

"And you didn't stop her?"

"I did the first time. This was earlier. I guess she thought Brian was mad at her and then she went to my house and stabbed herself there."

Brian was holding Denise's hand, crying. There was no way in heck he wanted her to leave him. Not that way, that time. Thoughts were running through his head. What could happen to her, what could happen to him, what her mom would think. " It's my fault. I got mad at her after I said I wasn't mad. It's my fault." Brian said barely whispering.

"Brian, I told you it wasn't your fault." Kevin said.

Nicole put a hand on Brian's shoulder. "I know how you feel." Nicole said kneeling down next to him. "She was my friend too. I never thought anything like this could happen."

"Was? What do you mean by was?" Brian said.

"It's just a figure of speech. Don't take it so personally."

"Um, are y'all with Denise?" asked Dr. Chavere.

"Yes. Are you her doctor? Is she gonna be alright?" Brian asked.

"I'm her doctor. We don't know if she'll be alright. We have to wait and see if she wakes up."

"If she wakes up?"

"When, did I say if? I mean, when. I take it you're her boyfriend, husband, brother?"

"Boyfriend. It's my fault."

"Bri, would you quit saying that?" Cassie said.

"We better go see if D, Nick, and AJ are here. They're probably looking for us." Kevin said.

"I'm staying here." Brian said.

"Okay. We'll bring you back some food."

"Thank you."

 

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