It had been three days since Jewel had left. I sat moping on the couch. Clarissa had admitted that the baby she was carrying was not mine but it was John Luke's, Johnny as she called him had come back, so she had left me alone in my own sorrow. I did nothing about the jars on the carpet or floor, they stayed as a reminder to how I had ruined my life by letting my hormones get the best of me.

Brian, AJ, and Leigh were all coming home today. AJ expecting his cousin, Brian and Leigh expecting a clean house. Slowly I walked upstairs to my bedroom. I just sat alone in the dark holding a stuffed pug dog I had gotten for Jewel while she was sick. I let the tears roll down my face.

I heard the door open, I could tell all three of them were home. But I just sat silently crying.

"Nick!" I could hear Brian running upstairs. I saw Brian open the door.

"Nick?"

I looked up. "She's gone, we... we had a fight and now she is gone... I"

Brian sat next to me. "Nick, are you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

AJ walked into the room. "Where is my cousin."

I let out a sob and laid my head on the pillow. "She left me, she went home."

"It's okay Nicky, I'll talk to her."

I didn't want to hear anymore. I closed my eyes and pulled a pillow over my head, enclosing myself in darkness.

I looked at this grown twenty-year-old man crying on the bed. Brian pulled me out of the room and closed the door quietly. "That must have been some fight." I whispered walking downstairs to help Brian and Leigh clean up their house.

It didn't take that long and soon enough we were all sitting in the living room. "Brian hand me the phone..." I said turning around so Brian could hand it to me.

"Who are you calling?" He asked.

"Jewel."

I sat in my room packing my things up. I wasn't moving in with Nick, but my parents wanted me out of the house. They had told me I had betrayed them and they didn't want to see me, I had a week to find a house and move out.

I looked at the little bank slip that told me my life savings. It was all for college but now all because of one sentence it was ruined. My phone began to ring. "Hello?" I asked.

I heard my cousin's voice on the other end. "Jewel, what happened." He asked.

I sighed and closed my eyes remembering all to well the last two days I had spent down south. "Well, I am pregnant, I went to the store came home and found Nick making out with some girl on the couch."

I waited patiently for Alex's response. "Does Nick know?" He whispered.

"No, and now that my parents know they want me out of the house. I have a week to find a place to stay."

I could hear Alex's loud finger tapping on the other end. "Will you move in with me? I'll help you get settled."

I smiled. "You would do that for me Alex?"

I heard him chuckle. "I'm your cousin, of course I will."

I let my smile slowly fade, "But that means facing Nick." I thought of what I would say, or what I could ever say. It was true I wanted to be with him, but after how much he hurt me... how could I?

"Not until your ready."

Alex and I set up some plans and we hung up. I continued packing then looked around my almost bare room. I sighed and sat on my bed. This was goodbye to everything I knew.

It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon as I picked my cousin up from the airport. I smiled as she walked out of her gate. It was getting obvious she was pregnant. Her once tight tummy was now getting a little round.

I hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much Alex. This means so much to me." She whispered in my ear.

I just kept on hugging her. "Come on, I decorated your room myself and I really want you to see it." I watched her pick her bags up from that thing that spins your bags. I never did know what it was called. I think Brian once called it the Bag terminal, which makes sense, but I never really paid attention.

I helped my cousin with her bags and took her to my new red explorer. As I drove along the highway I took a couple glances at her, she just stared out into the nothingness. "How about some music?" I said turning on my CD player.

Nick's solo song blasted as I turned it up. Quickly as we both realized it I shut it off. "Okay, I really wasn't in the mood anyway."

She just smiled and continued staring.

"So when is your friend shipping down the rest of your things?" My Aunt Jackie and Uncle Kyle made Jewel take everything out of their house, so she took it to her best friend's house. Loraine Getty was her best friend and she was cute. I liked her short straight red hair and her pretty emerald green eyes. But Jewel knows how I am with women and never introduced me.

"In about another week or two." She remained quiet.

I figured I'd try to talk to her about Nick. "You know... Nick has been feeling awful since you left." I whispered.

She looked at me first there was love in her eyes and I thought I hit something, but then they turned cold. "Good." She simply said.

"Come on Jewel, this isn't like you..."

She turned angrily. "He got me pregnant, said he loved me, had me meet his parent and family, then he cheats on me!" she yelled.

"Jewel he explained to me what happened. It isn't fair that you didn't give him a chance to explain."

She looked a little softer at me. "Well what isn't fair is that I had gotten a broken heart and now I have to raise this baby alone." She whispered.

I was quiet after that.

"Alex I want you to take me to Brian's house so I can apologize for the mess."

I nodded and watched as she turned the CD player back on. I smiled as she listened to the rest of Nick's song.

"Does Nick know yet?" She asked.

I smiled. "No, he doesn't. We all thought we'd leave that up to you. Whenever you want to tell him."

She nodded and leaned her head against her wrist.

"How about you take a nap." I suggested.

She nodded and closed her eyes.

I sat on my couch with Leigh in my arms. Nick hadn't come out of his room since the day we cleaned up the mess. That was almost two weeks ago. Leigh took his food up to him. But he barely ever touched it. I was surprised when I seen AJ's new explorer pull into the driveway. I shook Leigh gently to wake her up. She sat up so I could answer the door. "AJ, man I thought you were helping your cousin get settled?"

AJ moved over a little revealing his cousin standing shyly behind him. "She wanted to come here and tell you guys something first."

Jewel stepped up in front of me. "I'm very sorry about the mess, I would have cleaned it up, I was just so upset. I hope I didn't ruin anything." She whispered.

I felt Leigh come up behind me. "You didn't ruin anything of ours, the only thing you ruined was Nick's heart." I hadn't meant for it to sound so mean and imposing but I guessed it had because a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I... I-I'm sorry, I have to go."

I watched her rush out to the truck and close herself inside. I looked at AJ. "I didn't mean to sound so rude man. I'm sorry."

AJ shrugged. "She needed to hear it." I watched him pull out and down the street.

"Did Nick eat anything off of the lunch we sent up?" I asked Leigh as I closed the door.

"He took one bite of the sandwich and that was it. Honey he needs to get help or he'll will starve himself." She argued.

I nodded. "We just need to give him some time."

She agreed and sat next to me on the couch. "We'll figure out something to do later."

I watched as Jewel cleaned herself up with a napkin from mcdonalds. "I'm sorry I broke down like that Alex. I don't know what came over me." I saw her rub some eyeliner off away from her eye.

"Stella, you don't always need to be so strong." I said calling her by the Italian nickname I had always called her when we were little. Stella meant Star and she always had been like a shinning star in our family.

"Stella? You haven't called me that since we were like around ten."

I smiled. "I know I should have, your like my baby sister and every time you come to see me, I'm not here and that's how this happened. Cause I wasn't here." I said, I knew the blame wasn't on me, but I had to brake down her barrier. The one she always held up after some kind of pain that was inflicted on her. I had to make that barrier brake so she would see how much she and Nick needed each other.

"We're here," I whispered as I pulled up to my house. My house was in a small town in Orlando only a few miles south from Kevin and Howie, and a few miles east of Brian, Leigh, and Nick.

I showed Jewel up to her room. She must have been amazed. Because her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide. I had decorated the room in anything wild I could find. She had white shag carpet covering her floor, and I had gotten her walls painted orange. I had put pictures up on the walls of the action figures Nick had drawn for all of us. She didn't realize they were of BSB. Her bed was round and big and set off in one of the corners, it had a yellow coverlet on it. A silver stereo was set up on her dark blue dresser.

"AJ this is amazing." I knew she would like it because she liked Nick's room in I'll never break your heart. I set it up just like that, but again she didn't realize.

"I'll go make dinner." I said leaving so she could UN-pack.

I sat on my new bed just looking around my new room. It was bright and pretty and everything I had hoped. I knew what AJ had made it look like. It made me smile that he had paid that much attention. I lay my head down on the soft pillows and stared up at the ceiling All I thought about was Nick.

I hadn't seen him in a while and I was wondering how he was. I missed him so much. I touched my stomach as if remember the first night. I heard someone knock at my door. "Come in!" I yelled. I heard the door creak open and AJ poke his head in.

"Dinner is ready"

I smiled "Be right down."

He nodded and closed the door. I sat in place for a little longer and then I looked longingly at the action figure that resembled Nick. I stared at it deeply hoping it would make everything better. I wished that I had listened to what he had to say instead of just leaving.

I sighed and walked downstairs.

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