The trek back to the mansion felt more exhausting than Nick would have thought as the feelings circled his mind. He wanted to take his time, though, to clear his thoughts before he climbed back into the house.

The tears had dried by now and all that was left was a feeling of emptiness and sadness. He had not felt such deep emotions for a long time, and they were emotions which he could do without. An image of Daniel began forming in Nick's fragile mind. He had completely trusted Urgof's words, but didn't know why he let himself be taken into this whole situation.

All his life, Nick had expected to rid of the concept of 'family'. Maybe it was because whenever he thought of family, he only remembered the man who had adopted him-the man who had put fear into his heart every time he called him "father."

Daniel Brooks was so much different from his adopted father. For one thing, Daniel Brooks treated his children with love and respect. Seeing him talk about his children with such compassion made Nick start yearning for someone who would do the same for him. However Nick knew that dreams were beautiful, but false. He could dream of a father like Daniel Brooks all his life, but ultimately, he had to let his hopes go.

Nick was too old to be taken in by a family now. He was almost twenty years old. He could never be a part of such a beautiful family. Plus, he didn't want to force himself upon them. It seemed too unnatural. No, he was big enough to live on his own now. He didn't really need a family. The other Brooks children, on the other hand, were too young. They were the ones that needed more love.

And furthermore, didn't Nick have his share of love with his adopted father? Even though his adopted father didn't act the same as Daniel Brooks, but Nick couldn't remember a time when his adopted father actually kicked him out of the house for more than a few days. Eventually, in the end, his adopted father would open the doors of the house to Nick and allow him to come back home.

Nick shuddered at a sudden scary thought. What if his adopted father had locked him out of that house for good? Nick would have been helpless. But his adopted father didn't do that. Now that Nick remembered, he was sure that there had to be some love involved in his relationship with his adopted father or else Nick wouldn't have lived to this day.

Nick's thoughts wandered back to Urgof's suggestions. Urgof had wanted Nick to reveal his identity to his parents. Nick had thought that so ludicrous now. Why would he want to reveal himself to Daniel Brooks or to his mother? He didn't need to use himself as a link to settle this case. Nick doubted that revealing his identity to his mother would make his mother give up her plans so easily.

And why should he tell Daniel Brooks that he was the man's son? He could simply destroy the family happiness right there. His mother would not even have to do anything else to see the Brooks fall apart in front of her own eyes.

The more Nick thought about it, the more he realized that he had to keep his identity a secret if this case would be clean and swift. He had to act objectively. There was no room for emotions, no room for love. He had to keep his mind focused, as if this were just any other case. How hard could it be? It wasn't as if he had known these people for a long time. They were strangers. And they were his boss. They paid him to do the work and he would do it, like any other business contract.

But for some reason, the thought of indicting his own mother began to gnaw him. Urgof had said that his mother was intelligent and beautiful. Nick began to wonder how such an attractive lady like her would have an unwanted son like him. Why did she not want him? Was he not pleasing enough for her? Nick looked down at his own body and grimaced. Maybe the reason why she left him was the same reason why his adopted father had despised him all these years.

He remembered too well his adopted father's words. Every night he would go to sleep with them at the tip of his own tongue. "You're ugly. You're stupid. And you're god damn worthless, you little f---." The words were so strong, so harsh, yet in a way, so bold and truthful. Many nights, Nick would reflect upon those words and try to remember what he had done that day or that week that had caused his father to lash out at him. And he would try so hard to correct his deviant behavior.

Yet no matter how much he changed, the one thing that remained constant was the content of his father's tirades. He tried to read more to not act so 'stupid' in front of his father. He would try to keep in shape, eat healthy and keep his hair at a nice, decent length, but his father would still call him 'ugly'. Finally, after many years, Nick learned that he couldn't change the way he looked. He felt dumb for thinking that he could change his appearance to look more pleasing for his father and for his father's guests.

And his adopted father had so many guests, mostly females, who had their share of abusing Nick. Many would look at him with arrogance and make lots of crude, sexually poignant remarks at his body and his sexuality. Others would simply treat him like he was invisible and only call his name when they wanted him to bring them a glass of wine. But the ones that repelled him the most were the ones that actually used physical force against him.

His adopted father had laughed when he saw his women 'playing' with Nick. Once, Nick got so fed up that he had slapped one of them in the face. The rest was history as his adopted father punched him until he could no longer feel anything but the exacerbating pain that pervaded every organ of his body. And once he was sprawled on the floor, his adopted father had kicked him all over, even once in the groin. Nick couldn't see by then, but he could feel as the lady smirked at the whole ordeal. But as much as his adopted father hit him, Nick was completely satisfied that he had went ahead and slapped the lady. She deserved every inch of that slap.

Nick's thoughts focused on Daniel Brooks once again. He couldn't picture Daniel Brooks hitting his children, but then again, none of his children seemed as unlovable as Nick. Nick shook his head. No! Nick's past was over and done with. He did experience what it was like to be in a family in the past, and he didn't want to ever go there again. He had gone through enough heartaches just with one father. He didn't need to go through it again with another.

Of course, Nick knew that Daniel would not treat him as bad as his adopted father did, but he knew that with family came trouble nevertheless. Nick's presence wasn't needed in this family. He had nothing to offer this family, but unhappiness.

Suddenly, Nick placed a hand to the back of his head, feeling the scar-a long, cauterized gash running from one ear to the other-which his hair managed to hide very well. He wondered just how ugly he looked with all the physical marks on his body. He didn't know because he never once spent the time to really look into a mirror. He was afraid of what he would see.

But that scar had been his most defining feature. It was the one that one of his adopted father's female friends had bestowed upon him. It was from the lady that he had slapped. He didn't even want to think back to how that had happened. The memories were still too repulsive and painful.

He slowly drew himself out of the wave of disgusting memories and thought of the Brooks family. He could only bring them his history of pain, nothing else.

By now, the mansion had come into view. He could make out some lights on the second floor as he found a nice, unlighted path back to his window. As he neared the mansion, thoughts of his past began to wash away and an air of nothingness floated around him. The emotions that had filled his heart not too long ago became deadened and lifeless. He could feel the cool breezes once again tugging at his shirt. And for once during the past hour, Nick felt relief.

He gave in to stoicism as he began to climb the house back to his window. His lips drew into a straight line as it always did when nothing in the world mattered anymore. He found it easier and easier to slip into these moments of absence of emotions. When he was young, he was afraid that these periods of emptiness made him less human, but now he knew better. They only made him feel more alive.

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