**************************************************
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day (Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day)
**************************************************
We got to the church early to work out some last - minute
arrangements. There had been no visitation beforehand, at Brian's request.
"I don't want anybody to cry more than they have to; I don't want anybody to cry over
me at all," he had always said.
The pastor quietly informed us we could go into the sanctuary if we wanted. I headed
toward the wooden doors as the guys, Wendy, Kendra, and Sara followed me. I turned around.
"Could I have a few minutes alone, please?" I asked them.
They glanced at each other and nodded. I pushed the doors open and the rich scent of roses
filled the air. *Brian's favorite*, I thought.
I walked up to the gleaming white casket and looked at Brian, seemingly peacefully asleep.
How I wanted to be able to wake him up. How I wanted him to sit up, look me in the eyes,
and say "Gotcha!". But I knew this was never to be.
I took his hand and pulled off his class ring. I put it on the chain I always wore around
my neck; a birthday gift from Brian. I felt the heavy, cold metal press against my throat
and hot, stinging tears welling up in my eyes. *Be strong*, I told myself. *Brian didn't
want me to cry.*
I bit my bottom lip and took off a ring a friend, who had passed away in a car wreck when
I was a freshman, had given to me, and put it on his hand where I had removed his class
ring. [Author's note: I miss you Lindsey!]
Then I pulled out an envelope marked, in Brian's handwriting,
"Only to be opened by Becca! (Before the funeral)."
His mom had given it to me that morning with strict instructions from Brian not to tell me
what was going on. All she could say was:
"He still has one more surprise for you."
With shaking hands, I opened the envelope....
