Dakota:
I can't believe its been 3 years. Three years since I've talked to Nick or held him. It's been so hard but I know its the only way. The only way that it would be fair to him. There was no sense of him ruining his life because of me. A little over two years ago, I gave birth to my daughter Lacey Danielle. She looks so much like Nick and seeing her reminds me of him every day. Lacey has sparkling blue eyes and straight blonde hair. As soon as I saw her face I knew there was no way I could give her up for adoption. No matter how much my father wanted me to give her up, I refused. When I told him my decision, he basically banished me from my family. So I took my trust fund, which he surprisingly didn't take away, and I moved back down to Florida. It was far enough from the beach house to not have to truly worry about running into any of the guys, but its close enough to tempt me with just going to visit them. I'm still modeling because after Lacey's birth I made sure I lost all of the weight. So that is basically everything.....
It's just Lacey and I. We're doing fine surprisingly. I just turned 21 recently and Lacey is 2 and 1/2. She talks a lot and keeps me entertained.
Today I wasn't working so we had the whole day to ourselves.
"Park?" she asked.
"Of course, sweetie." She started dancing around the room, giggling.
"Yay! Swings, sandbox, slide....Fun...fun...fun," Lacey chanted, as she continued to dance. I kinda zoned out though because for some reason today my mind was dwelling on Nick and what I lost when I walked out on him. I love him still and that's what makes it so hard. A few minutes passed and Lacey was pulling on my leg.
"Mama, go?"
"Yeah, sorry Lace. I was thinking about something. Let's get you dressed." I dressed her in little pink overall shorts with a white short sleeve shirt. It was a present from Skylar. She brought it the first time she visited when we moved back to Florida. Lacey loves Sky and it makes me kind of uneasy because Sky still lives with the guys. I just hope that she won't slip up and end up telling one of them that I'm back in Florida. I brushed Lacey's hair into pigtails and then we left.
Nick:
Three years.....but it seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms and kissing her. She's the only person I'll ever love and the fact that she left....I don't know if I'll ever get over it. Skylar was depressed at first about Dakota leaving but lately she seemed to be feeling better about her being gone. I guess their friendship wasn't as long lasting as I thought. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so to clear my mind I decided to take a walk in the park. For some reason, today I really couldn't keep my mind off of Dakota. I wonder what she's been up to, where she's been, why she left, and why she hasn't come back. During my walk, a little girl ran into me and fell on the ground.
"Sorry," she said, quite upbeat.
"Oh that's okay. It was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you all right?" I asked, helping her up.
"Yup! Name?" she asked, curiously.
"I'm Nick."
"Hi Nick." The girl took my hand and shook it. Of course I was leaning down because there's no way she would've been able to reach it if I was standing upright. From behind me, I heard someone yell something to the little girl.
"Lacey! What have I told you? You don't talk to strangers!" A women, most likely the girl's mother, touch her cheek and then picked her up. "Mama, 'dis Nick." The mother looked up and I about fainted when I finally saw the person's face.
"Dakota!?" She stood there with shock on her face for a moment but then quickly started to walked away. "Wait! I....Where?....Stay here!" I pleaded, but she just continued to walk away.
"Mama, talk to Nick," her daughter yelled. Wait! Her daughter?! ~~~~
Dakota: "Mama! Nick!" Lacey screamed while kicking and wiggling in my arms.
"Lace, you know you don't talk to strangers. This is not good!" I yelled. I shouldn't have yelled at her but I was just really upset now. Nick was there in the park and he looked really good. Oh man I can't do this. I love him so much and he's so close. But I don't want to ruin his life. When we got back to the house, Lacey sat in the living room watching Sesame Street while I called Sky.
"Hello?" "SKY! Oh my god! In....the.....he.....she.....I......oh my god!" I spazed.
"Calm down, Dakota. What happened?"
"In the park.....I saw Nick.....Nick saw Lacey.....we saw each other. He knows I'm here, Sky. What am I going to do?" I sat back on a stool by my kitchen counter and banged my head on the counter.
"I don't know....MAYBE TELL HIM THE TRUTH!" she said with annoyance.
"It's been three years. He has a right to know. You're leaving him out of important years of Lacey's life."
"Sky, its not that easy.....Just promise you're not going to tell him. Please!"
"This isn't right, but I promise... It isn't my place to tell him, its yours. I just can't tell you how long it'll be until Nick actually discovers the truth on his own." She was right. Why was she always right? Grrr...
"Just let me try to live normally for awhile. Bye." I hung up with Sky and went over to sit on the couch with Lacey. She crawled on my lap and eventually feel asleep there. I looked down at the innocence on her face and realized that she wouldn't understand if I tried to explain the Nick situation to her. I mean she's only 2 and 1/2. I kissed her forehead and then put her in her bed. Then I found the picture of Nick and I kissing, in my wallet and just held it near to my body. I cried for hours, on my bed, holding that picture. ~~~~
Skylar:
It's been a few hours since Kota called, and I'm just waiting for Nick to ask me about her. He's only been home for an hour, and I can tell he's just itching to talk to me about their encounter. It's kind of sad because he's been lying on the bed in Kota's room, just pondering, ever since he got home (I left all her stuff there because it's not like she's dead or anything.) I'm really getting pissed off with her. It's bad enough that she never told Nick about Lacey, but to have him see her and still not say anything, I could just kill her. She said that when her and Nick's eyes met, her heart jumped and she couldn't find any words. But still, she could've at least given him an explanation, or a hug! For God's sake, the man's been deteriorating slowly for the last three years. I don't know how much more he can take. I decided to go up to my room before taking the guys on their afternoon fitness excursion. Besides, I can always use a little catnap. Wrong! As I reached the top of the stairs, I noticed Nick sitting on the top step crying.
"Hey, Nick." I said softly. "What's up?" He looked at me with an honest and sincere face.
"I saw Kota today." he said solemnly. "I know, I heard." I replied calmly. He stared at his hands.
"She looked so beautiful. Her hair was a little bit longer, but that was hardly the biggest difference I saw in her." He again looked at me.
"She has a daughter. A beautiful little girl that looked just like the pictures I've seen of Kota when she was a couple of years old. God! She's a mom! She's...she's a wonderful mom. How did she just move on without me? It's been three years and I'm still not over her. But she's out there living. She's, she's..."
Suddenly he looked at me in a moment of realization.
"Wait, you heard?" he asked. Oh, God, here it comes! I've really done it this time! The biggest secret Kota's ever asked me to keep, and what do I do? I ruin it. There's no way of getting out of this now. I have to tell him, it's been too long for him not to know. He continued,
"You heard where? I didn't tell anyone! Where did you hear?" I looked at him and decided to come out with it, all of it.
"Calm down, Nick."
"Calm down?! Calm down?! I've been fucking going out of my mind for the last three years and you fucking tell me to calm down?!" I felt really bad, but what else could I do. It wasn't my place to tell him, but now that he's seen Lacey, I assume it's only a matter of time before he realizes that he's her father.
"Nick, I'm sorry. I promised Kota that I wouldn't tell anyone where she went or anything else. I wanted to tell you, but she wouldn't let me."
Nick's rage quickly turned into an apologetic tone.
"No, Sky, I'm sorry. I had no right to blow up at you. This isn't your fault, it isn't anyone's fault." he said more quietly. "I can't believe she found someone else. Here I've been stuck without her, and she's already found someone. My life has gone nowhere, and she's moving right along with her life. All I've got to show for the past few years is a few fans. Hell, she's got a child. She's..." he trailed off.
I looked at Nick.
"Okay, you totally lost me Mr. I-Don't-Have-a-Life. Kota hasn't found anyone else. It's just you. It's always been you. You were her first." Nick's face immediately turned bright red.
"She told you that?"
"Of course, she's only my best friend in the whole wide world. We tell eachother everything. You and Brian talk about that stuff sometimes, girls just talk about it a little bit more. Come on, you didn't actually think she'd found someone else, did you?" I questioned. Nick looked confused for a second.
"But I saw her at the park, and she... she..." I knew what he was getting at, but boy was he slow. "But, she's got... but, I...Oh my God!"
Nick smiled. "I have a daughter...that precious angel, she's my daughter. But... why? Why didn't she tell me? I've been missing her for the last three years while she's been raising our child. I should've been there for her. I... I..." I felt so bad for him.
"She didn't want to hurt the group or force you into something you weren't ready for. She was trying to protect you." Now his tears were falling like rain.
"I wanted to be there. I wanted to marry her. I still do. We gave eachother commitment rings and I treasure mine. It's as true as a wedding band, but she wasn't ready for that yet. We were going to wait..." Then he looked at me again.
"You've got to help me out here, Sky. I have to see them." he said as another tear rolled down his cheek. Poor guy!, I thought.
"I'll talk to her, but I don't know how this thing is going to work out, Nick. I'll try my best, but I can't guarantee anything." Nick looked at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I'll try." I repeated. Without any more words, Nick walked into his room and shut the door. I rushed downstairs and bumped into Brian.
"Sweetie, I have to go out for a little while, there's a major crisis. I don't have much time to talk but here's the basic story: when Dakota left, she went back to Ohio, had Nick's baby, and stayed there so as not to hurt Nick's career. She and I have kept in touch and I couldn't convince her to come back. But her dad was a jackass and she decided to come back here. She's living about ten minutes away and Nick saw her and their daughter at the park today. So now I've got to go convince her to let Nick come see her so that they can reunite and be one big happy family. Nick's taking it really hard, and he's up in his room right now. I'm going to go see Kota now so that Nick can see them as soon as possible. I've got to go, so be good and I'll see you in awhile."
"Geez, I've missed a lot in the past few years," he laughed. "I love you," Brian then said and kissed me passionately.
"I love you, Brian. Now let go of me so that we can get this reunion underway."
"Speaking of reunions... my best girl friend, Gabe, is going to bein town next week. Remember her?" he asked.
"Yeah, but I thought that I was your best girl friend." I said quietly, looking down at the ground.
"Well, you are, but... she is, too. I mean, I knew her before I knew you. Anyways, I told her that I'd take her out and show her around..." he stammered.
"Uh huh... well, we'll just have to discuss this later. I've got to go help out MY best girl friend." I shot back as I pulled away from him.
"Sky, come on. This is ridiculous. We're getting married... you can't be jealous of Gabe, she's... Gabe."
"Look, you're right." I said with a sarcastic tone of defeat. "I'm sorry, I guess that I don't have the right to be jealous of your BEST girl friend who just happens to be a stunningly attractive woman... not to mention the fact that the two of you used to date." I added.
"That was years ago, Sky." I just kept going, a true battle-axe. "You're right, honey, I'm being ridiculous. In fact, I'm being downright childish! What the hell, why not have her stay here, too?" I said as I stomped off towards my car. After a few steps, I stopped and let my body release the tension, every muscle relaxing. Turning around I said, "Listen, I've got to go talk to Kota now. We can talk later." and got into my car. As I started the car, I muttered under my breath, "Oh, and by the way, I love you. "
I pulled out of the driveway with emotions running loose in my head. After a moment, I remembered what I was supposed to be doing. A quick call to Dakota and I was on my way. Little did I know, Nick had suspected that I might do this and went out the back door with the intention of following me in his car. I drove to Kota's house in race car mode, taking a mere four minutes on a ten minute drive. Pulling up to the house, I noticed Lacey standing on the front porch. Kota must have been right inside the house because she never let her daughter go more than a few feet from her. Lacey sat down on the steps and went down them one by one.
"Sky! Sky!" she squealed.
I hopped out of the car and ran to Lacey, scooping her up for a giant bear hug.
"Hi, Kota!" I yelled, but the words fell upon deaf ears. I looked at her with a puzzled expression, but her face was completely drained. Just then, I knew why because Lacey, looking over my shoulder, began screaming, "Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick!"
I turned around and saw Nick standing about ten feet from us with his car parked behind mine.
"Hi." he said loud enough for Dakota to hear. But she didn't say anything, just stared dumbly.
"Hi!" Lacey chirped. Oh my!, I thought, this is going to be interesting! ~~~~
Dakota: I just stood in my doorway, frozen. I couldn't believe it. My eyes moved from Sky to Nick and back and forth. This was too much for me. Sky gave me an apologetic look but it didn't work. It was her fault this was happening. She should've never came. I turned around quickly and walked into the house. Lacey starting running after me though.
"Mama! Look, Nick!" she giggled and then crawled through the doggie door. I really need to close that thing. A little girl is not suppose to use a door made for an animal. Sky and Nick eventually walked into the house and everyone looked at me expectedly.
"This is our house. Welcome," I said sarcastically. It was quite a step down from the beach house, but it was big enough for Lacey and I. Sky walked over to Lacey and picked her up.
"Hey Lace, what would you say if you're Aunt Sky here took you for some ice cream?" she smiled.
"ICE CREAM!" Lacey yelled and clapped. Oh brother. I know what she's doing. It's not going to work.
"Sky, I don't think giving her ice cream is a good idea."
"Too bad, you don't have a say." And with that Sky carried Lacey out the door.
"But..." I started but realized there was no use. She already left and now I was here with just Nick. I quickly turned around and walked into the kitchen. I could feel him staring at me which made me a little uncomfortable but I shrugged it off. Right now I was using all my brain to prevent myself from running over there and kissing him passionately.
"How have you been?" Nick finally asked breaking the silence.
"Good, considering," I stated shortly and then started cleaning the kitchen. I hardly ever clean, but I needed something to keep my mind off of Nick. With my back toward him, I didn't see what Nick was doing, but out of no where I felt Nick put his hands on my shoulders.
"I've missed you," he admitted and started rubbing his hands on my arms. His voice cracked a little, but he finally got out his next sentence.
"She's a cute little girl." I couldn't take it anymore, so I turned around and looked him straight in the eyes. The silence was strong for awhile and it was getting eerie. I broke free from Nick's arms and then started pacing around.
"She's your daughter." I whispered and sat down on the couch with my head in my hands.
"I know....." I looked up quickly, shocked that he knew. "After I saw you in the park.....Sky told me."
"Oh. She couldn't even let me tell you that." It was my place to tell him, not hers. She's my daughter. My responsibility.
"Well you could tell me her name," Nick said nervously, walking up behind the couch. I looked back at him and then looked down at my hands. "Lacey Danielle.....Carter." I waited for a response but he was silent for a little bit.
"She has my last name?" He asked with a hint of surprise and happiness. I looked up at him again and smiled a little.
"Well you are her father...." "Does she know?"
"No, she's only two and honestly right now I don't want her to know. She's a perfectly happy little girl just the way she is right now. I don't want to confuse her," I explained and he nodded.
"I understand......she's so beautiful, Kota. She looks just like you," Nick said with a huge grin. You could see the happiness very apparent in his eyes, so much so that his eyes are practically dancing.
"Actually I think she has all of your looks. She reminds me so much of you," I said quietly, while he walked over to sit next to me on the couch.
"Kota, why did you leave?" I could tell the hurt was still there and I honestly didn't blame him. It's just....
"I thought I was doing you a favor. You were 19. You didn't need that in your already stressful life. I didn't want you to look back and regret what happened, so I decided to not give you something to regret."
"I would never regret anything we did together. I loved you so much and that love is very obvious in that little girl we made."
"So you don't love me anymore?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said you loved me. That's past tense. I'm sorry that I lost your love." Tears started filling my eyes, but Nick wouldn't have it. He tried to pull me into his arms but I shrugged him off.
"Don't you ever doubt what I feel for you. I have and will always love you." Nick looked deep into my eyes which led to the debts of my soul.
He said those words with so much passion that it kind of scared me. I quickly looked away, so I wouldn't get wrapped up in the moment. "Do you still love me?" he asked and I kinda gasped. Shocked by the question.
"Not in the way you want me too..."
"You can't be serious. Dakota, we're soul mates. We were meant to be together. We should've never been apart."
"Things happen for a reason, Nick. You were my first love.... I'll always love you because of that and because you gave me Lacey. I hope we can be friends...." Lying to him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, besides actually leaving all those years before. I love him so much it hurts but for some reason I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him the truth.
"You still wear it," Nick stated and then touched the promise ring that was still on my finger.
"Uh....Nick, maybe you should go...." I said quickly. "You can stop by anytime to visit Lacey."
"What about to visit you?"
"Nick, please. Stop living in the past..."
"But Sky told me.....she told me you still love me," he blurted out and I stared at him for a second. I quickly turned towards the door, not wanting him to see me. Knowing that he'd see through my lies..... He'd see that I needed him now more then ever. I just couldn't let him see..... I loved him yet at the same time I hated him even though this whole situation wasn't his fault. It was mine. I left, I broke his heart and I also broke mine. "Kota...." Nick said, snapping me out of my trance. Before I had a chance to respond, he spun me around and kissed me passionately on the mouth.