Dakota:
We kissed for a little bit before I pushed him away.
"Nick....no. We can't do this," I sighed and opened the door.
"Why not, Dakota? I know deep down inside you still love me the way I love you," Nick stated and I looked at him tearfully.
"I have a daughter now...."
"No.....WE have a daughter."
"It's not like that, Nick and you know that. We can't just pick up after 3 years and pretend like nothing has happened. Can't we just be friends?" I asked, looking down at my hands.
"No, because neither one of us truly want that. I won't give up easily, Dakota. I love you and that's forever," he replied and then walked out the door. When the door shut, I slid to the ground and cried. Why did I push him away? I had him so close, but my defenses went up. I'm so stupid.
About a half hour passed before Sky came back with Lacey. They saw me sitting there and Lacey came running over to me.
"Mama! No cry!" she stated and then kissed me on the cheek. I looked up at Sky and she had a disapproving look on her face. She knew what I did.
"What happened?" Sky asked and I just shook my head. She knew....why did she even bother asking.
"Why bother asking? You know what happened. I pushed him away. He stood here professing his love for me and I denied any feelings for him...." I
stood up, took Lacey into my arms, and started walking up the stairs. "Can I just be alone right now? I'll call you later," I replied sadly.
"But, Kota!" Sky yelled after me but I slammed my door before I could hear anymore. ~~~~
Skylar:
When I came home from Kota's house, I was as tired as can be. I was completely drained, but I must admit that I was glad everything was out in the open.
I got home around eight in the evening and was surprised that Brian wasn't sitting in the family room watching the basketball game that AJ, Kevin and Howie were watching. I knew that Brian was home because his jeep was still parked in the driveway. Nick's car wasn't, so he must have been driving around still.
I bounded up the steps and into my room where I found Brian lying in bed. Surrounding him were tons of lit candles which gave off beautiful fragrances. "Honey? What are you doing?" I asked sweetly as I shut the door and rushed over to greet him.
From beneath his pillow Brian pulled out a giant calendar. "Well, I know that we didn't leave things so friendly and I wanted to make it up to you." he said. "I thought that maybe we could set a date..."
I kissed him passionately as I began undressing and finally getting under the covers. "You're such a sweetie," I said, kissing him, "but you're still on my shit list."
"What? What did I do?" he asked innocently.
I rolled on top of him and straddled him. "Don't pull that," I said, kissing him again. I probably shouldn't have continued kissing him if I wanted to pursue an honest attempt at being angry with him, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting him. "I'm... still... mad... at... you." I said between kisses. R
olling so that he was on top, Brian asked between kissed, "Mad...at... me... why?"
Unable to be serious about the subject matter while doing what we were doing, I reluctantly stopped. "You know that I feel uncomfortable around Gabe. I don't want to be the jealous girlfriend type." I started.
"Fiancee." Brian corrected me, leaning down to kiss me.
"Fine, jealous fiancee. You know that's not me, Brian. But she makes me feel inferior and then I get competitive."
"I love your honesty." he said. Then he began kissing me and touching me in ways that he knew I could not resist. Without any further discussion, we ended the conversation because our mouths were too busy to talk. Well, so much for a resolution to the conflict. Don't get me wrong, I was having fun, but my head was no clearer on the Gabe issue. ~~~~
Dakota:
It's been a week since I've seen or heard from Nick. Maybe he wasn't serious about always loving me and always trying to get me back. I was laying around my living room watching Days Of Our Lives while Lacey was toddling around the room playing with her blocks. She was such a happy child and I never want my personal drama to interrupt that. That's why its a good thing she doesn't know about her father yet. I snapped out of my trance when the doorbell rang and ever so slowly I went to answer the door. To my surprise, when I opened the door nothing was there but a pale pink long stemmed rose. My favorite flower. There was no note. Just the flower.
"Pwetty flower, Mama," Lacey smiled.
I smiled down at her and picked her up. Giggling a little, I started tickling her and she laughed for a long while. Then while I was upstairs changing her diaper, the doorbell rang again. When I finally got around to answering it, there was no one at the door but 2 more flowers.
"This is really weird," I said to myself. I felt like I was being stalked by a florist. The flower delivery continued every hour after that.
At 3 o'clock I got four flowers....at 4 o'clock I got six flowers.....at 5 o'clock I got eight flowers....and at 6 o'clock I got 10. By now I was basically floating in flowers and I had nothing to do with them. So I made Lacey a crown from the flowers and I made myself a necklace of flowers. We decided that we were both princesses and this was our castle. It was Lacey's idea and I think that's pretty ingenious for a 2 and 1/2 year old. Lacey carried around a flower as her magic wand because not only was she a princess, but she was a MAGIC FAIRY PRINCESS.
"Fairy Princess Lacey.....can you grant me a wish?" I asked in a sing-song voice. "
NO!" she giggled and I couldn't help but laugh.
"No? No, huh? I'll show you no," I joked and then started chasing her around the room. Finally catching her, I started tickling her when the doorbell rang. Still wearing our flower ornaments, I answered the door with her in my arms. I looked down at the ground expecting to see more flowers sitting there but instead I saw feet. Moving my gaze upwards, I found Nick standing there with a dozen of the flowers and a huge smile on his face. "
Look Mama, more flowers," Lacey pointed out and I sighed.
"Yeah, look at that." I adjusted Lacey in my arms and then basically started staring at Nick.
"Can I come in?" Nick asked, handing me the flowers.
"Sure," I replied, distantly. We walked into the living room, where I sat Lacey down on the couch and put one of her Winnie The Pooh videotapes in the VCR to keep her occupied. "Let's talk in the kitchen." I didn't want to discuss this in front of Lacey, so when we were far out of her hearing distance, I turned to Nick. "What is this all about?"
"I see you guys enjoyed the flowers..." He said pointing to my necklace. Rolling my eyes, I quickly took the necklace off and set it on the kitchen table.
"Cut the crap Nick. You're not going to win me over by a few flowers," I snapped.
"I thought it was a cute idea," I heard him mumble to himself.
"It was, Nick. I'm sorry for being so mean, I'm just frustrated. I loved the flowers and so did Lacey, but why are you wasting your time. I don't deserve this devotion," I explained.
"What happened in Ohio that changed your mind? Something happened there and I want to know what!" Nick demanded and tears started to form in my eyes. I finally broke down, explaining to Nick how my father disliked him and disapproved of my pregnancy.
".....He told me that it was a mistake and that I really didn't love you. It was just a crush and in time it would heal. He made me believe that and I did. I was all set to give Lacey up for adoption when she was born, but I couldn't after I saw her face. She was a tiny person that we created. There was no way I could ever give something like that up, but my father wasn't pleased with my decision. He made me choose Lacey or him.....and I haven't talked to him since," I cried and Nick wrapped his arms, comfortingly around me. I felt safe, but I knew I couldn't get stuck in the moment. I needed to be independent and not rely on anyone. Leaning on people only makes your problems worse when things go bad.
"You should have come back to me, Dakota. I would have helped you. I want to help you now. Please let me," Nick begged, but I shook my head.
"I don't need your help. Lacey and I are fine the way we are...."
"Can you just let me spend time with you guys? Let me get to know my daughter? And let me get to know you again?" I looked into his eyes and I knew there was no way I could deny his request. I was being so mean to him, its the least I could do.
"Fine. I guess its only fair."
"Cool! How about I take you and Lacey to Disney World tomorrow?" he suggested and I quickly nodded.
"Yeah that's great! Lacey's always wanted to go but we could never affo......find time to go," I covered up. The truth was, I didn't have a lot of money. Modeling here and there doesn't leave me with tons of spending cash, so basically we're just scraping to get by. My trust fund is almost all gone because I spent most of it on Lacey. Life really isn't fair, but maybe in time it will get better. Lacey will at least be able to go to Disney World and meet Winnie the Pooh.
"Ok, so it's a date. You, me and Lacey tomorrow at Disney World. I'll pick you up at 10," he smiled, kissed me on the cheek and then headed for the door. Once the door shut, I flung my head back and sighed.
"Goodbye," I whispered to myself. ~~~~
Skylar:
Ever since Kota's been back, it's been super stressful. I know that Kota still loves Nick, but for some reason she is unwilling to let him know that. She refuses to show her feelings for him, though I honestly can't understand why. I am unable to comprehend the concept that denying him love will make things any easier. For God's sake, Nick is trying so hard to make things right. This whole mess isn't his fault... I know that he would have been more than happy to have had Kota stay and marry him and have their child WITH him. But Kota couldn't give him that.
Nick is so sad and confused, so is Kota. Nick just sits in his room all day, emerging ever so often. I've noticed that he's started going into Kota's room more frequently. Last night, he slept in her bed, just like he did right after she left three years ago.
Kota is doing the best that she can to cope with the situation considering that she has a daughter to care for. She can't completely break down because she has to be strong for Lacey. I've tried talking to her, but few words are spoken. She's shutting me out because she knows that I think that Nick should be present in Lacey's life, as her father rather than a mere acquaintance. Nick is Lacey's dad. He deserves to help raise her and God knows he has so much love to give her.
Everything is going wrong all of a sudden. I don't know, maybe the wind has changed directions or something, but everyone is at odds with everyone else. Brian and I are disputing over Gabe. I understand that they used to be really close, but hello! I'm his girlfriend now. Jealousy is not my thing, really it's not, but Gabe... I feel like she doesn't play fair. A
couple years ago, we went to visit her and she would abandon me and run off with Brian. He always tried to make me feel included, but his life with her was completely different from his life with me. They had tons of inside jokes that I was obviously not in on. Believe me, I know that they're just friends and I trust Brian, it's just... well, she's gorgeous, not as pretty as Kota, but pretty nonetheless.
Gabe makes me feel awful because when I'm around her, I get competitive. I guess I feel a little self conscious when I'm around her because I know that Brian and she used to date. I look at her and compare myself and then I wonder how Brian compares us. I just want to make sure that I'm the one holding his heart. I want to make sure that Brian loves me more. And I know that it is ridiculous because he wouldn't be with me if he didn't love me, but still...
The next morning my eyes fluttered open as the sun shone on them. At first I was mad that I was awake because I'd been dreaming about Brian's and my wedding. But once I was fully coherent, I didn't mind so much. Let's see, naked in bed with the man that I love more than life lying beside me, no further complaints here. Brian was still peacefully sleeping, so I just stayed in bed watching him and wondering what he was dreaming of.
A sweet smile played across his lips as he lied there contently. After a few minutes, I moved over to Brian so that I was half on top of him as I leaned up and placed a gentle kiss upon his lips.
"Mmmm..." he groaned, so I continued.
Slowly, he began coming around as I deepened the kiss. "I love you." I whispered in his ear.
"I love you, too, Gabe."