Dakota:
The next morning I called Skylar at what I thought was the butt-crack of dawn, but she was surprisingly wide awake.
"Sky?"
"Kota? You're actually up this early? Are you sick?" Skylar joked around.
"Ha, ha. No, I was just excited and anxious so I couldn't sleep. I have a date with Nick tonight. An actual real date. Just me and him. I think we may finally get back together!"
"That's great, Dakota. I'm really happy for you. I mean you two are meant for one another and it would've been a shame if you guys didn't realize it."
"Yeah I know. But anyway, I was wondering if you would help me get ready for tonight. I'm kinda nervous because what if I blow it? Or what if he doesn't like what I'm wearing? Or what if he thinks I just some boring mother now and he wants someone younger without a child?" I blurted out and that's when I heard Sky let out a loud sigh.
"You know that isn't true. God, quit worrying! Nick loves you sooo much. Sometimes too much where it turns into a scary psycho obsession. So stop whining and I'll see you at 6:30." Sky said and then hung up.
"Goodbye to you too," I replied and hung up the receiver. ~~~
Skylar:
I arrived at 6:30 to help Kota get ready. Supposedly, Nick was coming to pick her up at 7 o'clock and Brian was coming with him. It was really cute because he was originally going to come with me, but Nick was flipping out about what to wear and do so Brian said he'd stay and help him get ready.
When I walked in, Kota was in her blue robe frantically moving about the house with curlers still in her hair. "Sky! Thank God you're here! I'm having a nervous breakdown." She swooped a toddling Lacey off the ground and headed up the stairs. "Come on, I need you to help me pick which dress to wear." she said.
Once we reached her room, I took Lacey as Kota began holding up dresses. "Should I wear this one? Or maybe this one? I can't decide! What do you think? The red tight shocker or the black elegant or the blue..."
"I'd go with the red shocker." I smiled. "You'll look great in that one. You've been using my workout tapes, so show it off. Dare to be drafty!" I said, referring to the open top. To be completely honest, it showed quite a bit of cleavage which I knew would knock the socks off Nick. As much as Kota tried to downplay this dinner, it was going to be a big event.
"You really think that I should wear the red one? Honestly?" she asked.
"Mama, mama, mama..." Lacey said with the largest grin imaginable.
"Oh, I love you so much." Kota said as she snatched her daughter out of my arms. Immediately, Lacey starting laughing and giggling.
"Well, it seems that Lacey agrees with Aunt Sky. So, the red dress it is." She closed the door and set Lacey down, who began teetering around the room. Kota quickly slipped into the dress. "What do you think?" she asked.
"You look stunning." I said. "And let me add, the curlers do wonders for the dress."
"Oh, shit!" she yelled. Then remembering that her small daughter was in a word-repeating phase, she said, "Shoot!"
But Lacey was too quick and too smart for Kota. "Shit, shit, shit..." the little girl instantly repeated.
I picked her up and held her in the air. "What are you doing, silly? Huh?" Then to Kota, "You've only got fifteen minutes. Let me help you take out those curlers so that you can get started on your makeup."
Kota looked at me with the sincerest of all faces. "Thanks, Sky. You've been such a good friend through all of this. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."
"How about letting your daughter really get to know her dad?" I stated. I knew that the words were harsh, but also that they needed to be said. ~~~~
Dakota:
"Sky, you're beating a dead horse. She'll eventually find out. Just give me time and most of all DO NOT PUSH ME," I said forcefully and then picked up Lacey, walking downstairs.
"Wait, where are you going? Your make up and hair isn't finished!" she said following me.
"I'm just thinking that maybe this dinner thing isn't a good idea. Why even bother?" I sighed and flopped down on the couch with Lacey in my arms.
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and started playing with my face. I laughed a little and then tickled her a bit. "What are you doing, you silly girl?"
"Pwetty....Mama!" Lacey said happily and then started clapping.
"This is why you're going tonight. Because of this little girl," Sky said, standing by the stairs. I looked back at her and took a deep breath.
"Your right. I hate that." I kissed Lacey's head and then set her down on the couch. "Sky watch her while I go finish getting ready."
"No problem. Hey Lace, you wanna watch teletubbies?"
"Tel'tubs....Tel'tubs!" It made me smile when I saw her dancing on the couch after Sky mentioned the Teletubbies. She's the best thing that came into my life and honestly I can't imagine living without her. It's kind of funny because originally I thought it was the end of the world, but it was far from it. I quickly ran upstairs and changed. There's no way I could be comfortable in that dress Sky picked out so I changed quickly. No one can go wrong with a black cocktail dress. I put on a little makeup and decided to leave my hair hanging down with the little curl from the rollers. When I came back downstairs, Lacey came running over to me.
"Hey sweetie. I wasn't gone that long," I laughed and picked her up.
"Play...play....you play."
"I'm sorry Lace, I'm going somewhere." With the mention of my departure her eyes filled with tears and within seconds she was sobbing. "Oh god. Please don't do this to me. Lacey, not tonight." She just stopped listening.
"No leave!" For two and a half, she was really smart. I heard someone knock on the door and I knew Nick must be here.
"I'll get it," Sky told me, so I hid in the kitchen trying to calm my daughter down. ~~~~
Nick:
I was so nervous that I was shaking while standing on Dakota's front porch. Why am I so damn nervous? This is Dakota, the person I love more then life itself. Well, I guess I just answered my question. That's why I'm nervous.
"Calm down," Brian said giving me a knowing look.
"I'm sorry, B-rok. It's just.....this is Kota...." Sky opened the door for us and just smiled.
"Hi guys! Come on in. Dakota will be ready in a minute." When we walked inside I heard a child's cry. It must be Dakota's daughter.....well my dau....nevermind. Right now it didn't really make any difference. Sky and Brian just moved off to the side and sat down on the couch. Real supportive guys. Thanks. That's when I saw her. She walked out of kitchen with Lacey in her arms and even though she looked flustered, she was the most beautiful sight I've seen in my life. Lacey just looked at me with teary eyes and then covered her face into Dakota's shoulder. I'm never going to be her father. The bonding time's already over, its useless. ~~~~
Dakota:
When I saw him standing in his khaki pants and brown sports coat. I was speechless. He looked so good. Time froze for a minute. Lacey was no longer crying and no one was there besides Nick and I. After that spilt second I smiled at him.
"Hi Nick. You look great."
"So do you," he said taking a deep breath. Oh yeah I look really good.....sure.
"Yeah, I look wonderful holding a crying child. I probably have snot marks on my dress," I joked. Lacey looked up at me with sad eyes, but had a hint of hope that maybe I would stay here. She's really not used to not having me around. Since we've lived on our own, I've taken her everywhere I went. We never parted and now that Nick's here. I don't know how she's going to adjust to that. I pushed her hair out of her face and then kissed her forehead. "Be good, Lace. Here Skylar." Sky jumped up to take Lacey and she gave me an encouraging smile. All my hopes of a great evening were crushed when as soon as Lacey left my arms, she was crying hysterically.
"Mama! Mama!" Lacey screamed while reaching out for me. Skylar tried to give me a comforting look and practically pushed me out the door.
"It will be fine. Don't worry about it," Sky assured me. When I finally got onto the front porch alone with Nick, I looked over to him and shrugged.
"You don't want this Nick. I know you don't. So get out now before I get reattached and Lacey gets attached because there's no way I will let you hurt Lacey," I warned him, walking to the car. ~~~~
Skylar:
Once Kota and Nick were safely out the door, Brian and I sat down with Lacey in the family room. She instantly took to Brian which thrilled him. He was so easily amused by her. He simply could not sit still with her running all about. He got down on the ground and playfully wrestled with her, tossing her around as she giggled with glee. She amused us for hours because her laugh came directly from her stomach which made it sound more like a chuckle. She had us rolling with laughter for hours. T
ogether, we fed her dinner: macaroni and cheese. It was Kota's favorite food when she was little and still is even though she's an adult; apparently Lacey inherited that liking from her mother.
Of course, she was a little messier than Kota. I swear, Lacey was lucky if half of the food got into her mouth. She was old enough that she fed herself, but small children and utensils just aren't compatible. It didn't help that Brian was playing with her the whole time she was eating. But he got what he deserved when she whipped a spoonful of cheesy noodles in his direction.
He looked at me squarely and I noticed that the noodles weren't only on his shirt, but on his face as well. A decent amount of the cheese sauce was on his nose which made me laugh. "Oh, aren't you dreamy." I said in a sarcastic voice.
Brian came over to me and wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my nose with his, "It's all in the cheese. It adds that effect." he joked.
I wiped off my now cheesy nose and leaned in for a kiss. I put my hands around his neck and we passionately locked mouths. Just then, we heard Lacey making smooch noises behind us. We looked over at her and found that she was blowing us kisses, although it was really more like she was spreading cheese bubbles from her mouth to her hand. We both started laughing which made Lacey start belly-laughing again. Needless to say, it was an amusing scene. ~~~~
Dakota:
We ended up going to a really nice restaurant and I stopped at the entrance before we walked in. Nick tried to lead me forward by my hand, but I wouldn't budge.
"Nick, this is too much. It's way too expensive," I stated, looking him in the eyes.
"No, it's not. Dakota, I have plenty of money. Don't worry about it," he tried to reassure me while rubbing my shoulders.
"You may have plenty of money, but some of us aren't as fortunate," I snapped and then walked away. Hearing him start to come after me, I ran. I wasn't really sure where I was going, but all I knew was I had to get out there. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I just let them fall. I was so tired of hiding my feelings....Trying to be strong when inside I was falling apart. After running for what seemed like forever, I stopped and realized that I was standing on the beach. Our beach. ~~~~
Skylar:
After we cleaned up dinner (I cleaned up Lacey while Brian cleaned up the highchair), we played for a little bit longer. Then Brian and I fought over who got to put on her pajamas. I don't know why we were fighting over it, but we were. It seems so silly, but we were both in a 'baby-state-of-mind' and we were having fun. As it turned out, we compromised: Brian would get to put on her pajamas and read her bedtime story and I would get to rock her to sleep and tuck her in (Kota said that it was the only way Lacey ever fell asleep.)
It took Brian a little while to get her pajamas on because she kept running away from him, clad only in her diaper. "Come on, Brian."
I yelled. "She's two and a half, how is she beating you?!"
"She's a fast one, you try catching her!" he yelled back.
Together, we scrambled around the house and finally grabbed Lacey. Brian easily put her pajamas on her and then sat down with her leaning against his chest to read a story. He picked out a book and read it using different voices for each character. Sitting next to him, I couldn't help but be amazed by how well he was doing with Lacey.
They'd only met today, but she was so comfortable in his arms that you would think they'd always known each other. I sat there thinking about how special it was. I felt like such a corndog, but I got teary-eyed watching him with her. It's just that she is such a big part of my life, I mean, Kota is like my sister and so Lacey's like my niece and I couldn't imagine my life without either one of them. The fact that Brian could now share this meant the world to me. I mean, three years is a long time to conceal a treasure like Lacey.
As Brian finished reading Lacey the story, Brian looked over at me and saw the tears streaming down my face. "What's wrong?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.
"Nothing, I'm just so happy that I don't have to keep her a secret anymore. And I think that Nick and Kota are going to work things out. And, we're going to get married sometime soon, so... everything is perfect right now."
He leaned over and kissed me as Lacey became restless and tried to get down. "Come on, Lacey." Brian said, standing up and bringing her to his shoulder. "Time for bed."
She fussed a little, but quickly settled down once I sat in the rocking chair with her. Brian sat down next to the chair and sang softly and sweetly until she fell asleep. I conceded and let him help me tuck her under her covers. We sat there and watched her for a few minutes, and then exited the room feeling a strange sense of need. ~~~~
Nick:
Good going Nick. Get her upset. Now she's no where in sight and you have no idea where she went. I'm such an idiot. Sighing to myself, I walked to my car and just started driving around. Why did this have to be so hard? More then anything, I just want to take Dakota into my arms and hold her forever.
I want to be a father for Lacey and I want her to know me as her father. But I have to think about this....I'm not looking at the whole picture. Dakota had to raise her by herself for those years and I'm sure it was hard on her.
Why did I have to be so blind and selfish? She's in as much of a struggle as I am and all I was worried was my own problems. Driving back to the house, I noticed a shadow of a person on the beach. Dakota. That's where she always went to think and most likely that's what she's doing now. Even though she probably wanted to be alone, I didn't care. We need to talk. So I parked my car and jogged over to her.
"Dakota?"
"Leave me alone....." she sniffed and then put her head in her hands.
"Are you crying?" I asked sitting down next to her.
"You were always a swift one," Dakota shot back. I couldn't take it anymore. She was just sitting there crying her eyes out and that ripped my heart in two. Well knowing that I shouldn't do it, I pulled Dakota near me and wrapped my arms around her. At first she tried to push me away, but after a few minutes she just broke down, crying on my shoulder.
"Shhh....It'll be ok," I whispered, smoothing down her hair and rocking her back and forth.
"It can't be okay. Because I still feel so confused and angry. I can't be strong anymore Nick. It's too hard. There's no way I can handle this by myself. My life has changed so much. I'm not the same person and I don't have the same life. I'm just afraid that I made a huge mistake and missed out on so many opportunities. I know it sounds selfish, but I had my sights set on being a hugely famous model. Now I'm a mother, there's no way that can happen anymore. I'm not saying I regret having Lacey, its just....." She was babbling on, but then she just stopped to cry. I've never seen her cry so hard.
"You don't have to do it on your own anymore. You never did, but we're not going to get into that now. I'll be here with you every step of the way. Whenever you need help, I'll be there. I love you, Baby." She looked up at me with an expression which reminded me of a scared little girl. The tears in her eyes stopped falling and she smiled. "I've been waiting to see that beautiful smile." I leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the lips. She deepened the kiss almost immediately and eased us down onto the sand. Well this is something I didn't expect, but I'm not complaining. I rolled on top her and let my hands roam over her soft skin. She has to be the most beautiful creative in the world. "Oh....I....love...you...so much." I broke away from our kiss and just started kissing her everywhere. Dakota giggled and then pushed me off of her.
"Nick, this is how Lacey came into the picture," Dakota smiled.
"I'm sure she'd want a little brother or sister," I laughed and Dakota just playfully smack me.
"I love you so much." I helped her off the sand and then we decided to head home. ~~~~
Skylar:
Just sharing all those moments tonight somehow brought Brian and I closer together. I felt less uneasiness about the Gabe situation and was able to completely forget about her, a task which has seemed insurmountable these last few says.
I pulled Brian down to the couch with me because it was so peaceful to just cuddle. I thought about all the tour dates that I had to miss for one reason or another. Those nights that Brian was away were some of the loneliest of my life. It was those nights that I longed for his arms to be safely around me as they are now.
My thoughts wandered as I wondered what was going on with Kota and Nick when Brian leaned down and kissed my forehead. Instantly, I turned more fully towards him and leaned up to gently kiss his lips. "I love you so much." I whispered.
"And I love you." he whispered back.
"Let's set a date for our wedding." I said, partially sitting up. "
I want to do it soon... we've been together for so long, it's crazy not to just get married. We keep talking about setting a date... let's just do it already!"
"I agree." he said. "I want to start building forever with you. Now."
I smiled at him and tenderly caressed his lips with my own.
"Sky, I want to start our own family." he stated quietly. "
Me, too, sweetie." I said kissing him again. "I'm sure that someday we'll have tons of little kids running around our house. I want a lot, maybe four or five..." "
No, Sky, I think that we should start a family now." he said.
"We're at a good point to start settling down, I think that we should."
"Honey, we can't have kids now! How could you even think that we're ready now?" I questioned. "I love you with all my heart and soul, but this is not the best time for us right now." "
You mean that it's not right for you." he said in a barely audible whisper.
"What does that mean?" I asked, getting angry. I sat up and looked at him defiantly. "Brian, my career is just starting. Clients are lining up left and right. I'm booked solid without worrying about you and the guys. You can't ask me to put everything on hold because you're in the mood for a baby now. I'd be the one carrying the baby and that's a lot of stress. I don't have the time or effort for that right now. We can't-"
He interrupted me, "No, you can't! I'm perfectly ready and want to start the rest of our life together, now. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"
I stood up off the couch, "Wait a minute! I have done nothing but work for you and the group for the last four years. An occasional client besides you is not enough to build my career on. You know that!" I shouted. "It's so easy for you to say 'Let's make a family!' because you've already achieved success and your job is stable, but mine isn't, and I can't live my life depending on you. I need some independence... just an ounce of freedom... the promise of personal satisfaction!"
He stood up and with his voice raised asked, "Why?!"
With one swift smack to his face, I shocked him to no end. "Don't you ever ask me to give up myself for you. That's too much to ask! It's supposed to be a gift, not a debt that I owe you." I said through gritted teeth as a tear rolled down my cheek.
I think the slap really woke him up; we've never had a physical fight that went past stomping out of the room. I stood there motionless, dumbfounded at the situation. Brian stepped closer to me and put his arms around me. He gently kissed my forehead and whispered,
"I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have asked. I was out of line."
I couldn't bear to even look at him because I couldn't believe that we'd just had that fight. Embarrassed that I'd let my emotions get out of control, I said, "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of those things. I..."
"No, some of it needed to be said." he admitted.
"But I could have been nicer about it. I forgot that you haven't had time to get used to this 'kid thing'. I've known Lacey since she was born, so I've had time to deal with pangs of baby longings. But you haven't, and I..." I looked up at him and noticed that there was a red mark on his face from where I hit him. Ever so gently, I moved him back to the couch and sat him down. I tenderly placed kisses on his face and lips and caressed his cheek. "I'm so sorry that I hit you." I whispered.
"It's okay, I deserved it. I have no right to make you give up your career or your dreams, that's not fair to you."
I looked at him sincerely. "I do want to start a family with you... soon, but... I need a little time. Let's start with getting married and then we'll figure it out. But I promise that I won't make you wait long."
Brian smiled. "I love you, Skylar Jeffries."
"I love you, Brian Littrell... give me some time to start up my career, then we'll just start a baby factory, okay? I just want us to have children when we both have time to enjoy them. I don't want either of us to miss a single moment. I mean, look at Nick and all that he's missed, and the stress that Kota has put on herself by deciding to raise Lacey on her own. I want us to both be there for our kids."
He looked at me and smiled, probably at the thought of me being considered a 'baby factory.' "We'll know when it's the right time." he said, suddenly sure that we were doing the right thing. "We'll know."
I laid my head back down on his chest and fell asleep feeling the beat of his heart pounding against mine, until at last they seemed to beat as one. ~~~~
Dakota:
We walked back into his car and he immediately took hold of my hand. He flashed me a huge grin and then turned on the car.
"Who says chivalry's dead," I laughed lightly while we pulled onto the road.
"Where to?" Nick asked, looking over at me.
"Let's go back to my house. We can see if your daughter is still up," I smiled seeing the happiness come to his face.
"I like that idea." he agreed and then drove off towards my house.
Fifteen minutes later we arrived at my humble home and walked up the front steps. Nick pulled me close into his arms and quietly whispered in my ear.
"It feels good to have you back into my arms. You belong here with me." I looked up at him and then leaned in to give him a kiss. ~~~~
Skylar:
After a little while, Brian woke up and, I suppose, couldn't stand being awake without me. He awoke me with passionate kisses.
I cocked my head back and looked at him. "What was that for?" I asked in a giggly voice.
"It was a selfish method of waking you up." he said with a smile.
"I just couldn't stand lying here without touching you, or seeing you smiling back at me, so..."
"Well, selfish or not, I don't mind." I gently kissed his lips and rolled off the couch and onto my feet.
"Where're you going?" he asked longingly.
"Just to get a drink. Want something?" I asked.
"Only you." he said with in a sexy tone.
"Ummm. You know that I loved to give you THAT right now, but we're not at home, and I am not about to do anything in Kota's house." I quickly added.
Brian got up off the couch and followed me. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my stomach. "I don't know if I can wait 'til we get home." he whispered.
I turned around in his arms and kissed him hard on the mouth. Seductively, I put my hands under his shirt and moved them from his stomach to his chest. He let out a little moan and I laughed. "Well that was fun. But sorry, no more play 'til we get home."
The shattered look in his eyes tore me apart, but I knew that I would sufficiently make up for it when we got home. "Come on, Brian. How embarrassing would it be if Nick and Kota came home when we were doing that. I'd feel so... so..." As I struggled for the right word, something in the frontdoor window caught Brian's attention. He slowly walked towards the door. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Shh." he whispered and motioned for me to follow him. Together we crept up to the window and spied outside.
There was Nick and Kota passionately kissing and caressing each other on the front porch. "Oh my God! They finally got back together!" I whisper-yelled in Brian's ear.
"Finally! It's about god damn time!" Brian muttered.
"You're so sweet." I said sarcastically. Just then, I heard a low muffled cry from Lacey's room. "Oh, shit!" I said and ran up the stairs.
I raced into her room where she was standing up in her crib.
"Mama? Mama?" she asked through her tears.
"Mama will be in to see you in just a minute." I soothed her.
Speaking of, Kota dashed into the room, followed by Nick. "Mama's here, sweetie, mama's here!" she said taking Lacey from my arms. I watched her give her daughter a kiss and saw the love they shared.
Nick just stood back, looking unsure of what to do or where to go.
"Thanks, Sky." she whispered. "I'm sorry that we're so late, we just..."
"Oh, that's okay." I quickly replied as Kota went back to kissing her little girl. I joined Brian in the hall and grabbed his hand, heading downstairs. "What happened?" I asked him quietly.
"That little cry was picked up on the 'mommy monitor' and she flew in here like a bat out of hell." he answered.
"Let's give them some space." I said, grabbing my purse and leading Brian out the door.
"No complaint here." he said and stopped me for a gentle kiss.
"Let's get home!" he said as he sprinted towards the car.
"Oh, yeah, someone's been waiting for play time." I joked.
"And I was such a good boy today, I think I deserve extra time." he said in his childish voice.
"No complaint here!" I replied. ~~~~
Dakota:
Lacey hid her face in my chest and continued to cry. I just rocked back and forth trying to soothe her.
"It's okay, Lacey. I'm here now....you don't need to cry anymore...shhhh...." I kissed the top of her head and sighed. "Please stop crying." Nick looked really uncomfortable through out the whole thing and then I got an idea. "Here why don't you try to hold her," I smiled a little and he looked at me, shocked.
"Uh....are you sure?" he stuttered. I nodded and handed Lacey over to Nick. His hands were shaking a little as he held her.
"Nick, relax. You're a natural and look at that....she stopped crying!"
I grinned and he looked at me with amazement. With that comment, he immediately started to become comfortable, holding her and he was grinning from ear to ear. Nick touched her hair lightly and kissed her head.
"She's asleep," he chuckled. "Thank you. This means a lot to me." Nick just kept on staring at Lacey in amazement and love. There was such a happy loving look on his that it was unbelievable.
"I'll be back...." I kissed Lacey's forehead and then gave Nick a quick kiss on the lips. He looked a little shaky at the thought of me leaving, but I just smiled. "I'm just going downstairs. Don't worry." I practically floated down the stairs because I was so happy. Nick was holding our daughter and it looked so natural. I want this all the time. He needs to be around us all the time. ~~~~
Nick:
She was so perfect. I can't believe I actually had something to do in creating something so special. Lacey was sucking her thumb while I was just holding her. I'm holding my daughter.....this is....mindblowing. She started to stir a little so I decided to rock her in the chair. The rocking was working because she wasn't crying, but when I looked down I noticed that she was awake. Her bright blue eyes were staring up at me with happiness. Realizing what time it was I knew I had to get her to sleep or Dakota would come up here and probably yell at me.
"I love you, Lacey," I smiled and kissed her forehead. "You better fall asleep or your mommy will yell at me," I laughed lightly and she giggled a little. "How about I sing to you. Would you like that?" I didn't expect her to answer me, but when she smiled it was answer enough. The first song that came to me was "All I Have To Give", so I sang it softly. When I looked up from Lacey, I saw Dakota standing in the doorway, smiling. ~~~~
Dakota:
After that scene played before my eyes, I knew Nick was ready for fatherhood and I knew I was ready to let him back into my life. We tucked Lacey in together and then walked to my bedroom.
"I should probably get going," Nick said, heading for the door, but I shook my head. He gave me a confused look so I just pulled him closer to me.
"You're not going anywhere," I whispered and then kissed him hard on the mouth. "I need you right now. I love you so much, now more then ever," I said smiling and then he carried me over to the bed. He laid me down and quickly got on top of me. The passion between us was explosive and we practically ripped each others clothes off. His touch felt so right against my skin, like his hands belonged all over my body. This was definitely right. Now that I have him back in my life, there's no way I'm going to let him leave. The love we made recommitted ourselves to each other and our future together.