The cards which were dealt to me as a child really looked impressive at certain times in my life... especially as a child.
Only... did you never realize that sometimes, even as a child,
I really didn't feel like playing your particular game
at your particular time? It seems as if it was never my
decision... I was just dealt the cards... then driven to play.
I must admit that the benefits of playing your way was lucrative...
at times. However, this too was somewhat protracted to its actual worth.
Sorta like aces in a poker game... the looks are impressive...
even if the advantages are sometimes inconclusive.
As a child, I actually thought that all kids got new clothes every
Saturday... a new car every 3 years (because the "neighbor's" kid did).
I thought all kids walked around with a little money in their new pocketbook.
I had no idea that they actually made clothes that weren't "name brand..."
Often, others have looked at me and marveled at how I could possibly feel
that the cards have continually been stacked against me...
when I was repeatedly dealt a hand of aces. They just never understood
that, sometimes, all I really wanted to do was fold! However,
it was never my decision... and nobody ever actually took the time
to see that the aces were actually just getting in my way...
in the way of what allowed me to be me... capable of growing...
and making my own decisions. I was brawned to hold a hand that
actually had no hope... deeming a life of it's own potential.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that the aces just don't
prevail anymore. I don't get new clothes every Saturday...
(just every other...) my car really isn't all that new...
and all my clothes aren't "name brand." And my pocketbook, even though
it is Liz Claiborne, has a tear in the seam. And you know what?
It just doesn't matter. Just like the full houses... or royal flushes...
these "material" things are irrelevant in my real life.
I have now come to realize the insignificance of materialism...
and I have finally discovered the important elements which are really
vital to me and my being... elements which, for years, I never knew existed!
