This is a lighthearted and humorous look on Positions
1. Standing, hands behind neck, feet apart,
2. Kneeling, same as #1, but ask for a pillow because these old knees just ain't what they used to be.
3. Kneeling, bottom on calves, milky white thighs spread, graceful hands palm up on those milky white thighs, (oh yeah, bells jingle while maneuvering into this position), long hair flows down back, pert (in my dreams) breasts uh...being perky.
4. On hands and knees, doin' the doggy-style thing...oh yeah, milky white thighs still parted.
5. Same as #4 except placed over a low piece of furniture, head dangling over one edge, blood rushing to it...and she has to sneeze.
6. Same as #5 except on back, head still dangling, neck muscles tensed because when the head just dangles in this position, the nose gets stuffed up. Milky white thighs still parted.
7. Spread out over His knee, legs parted, awaiting the first strike of His palm to her bottom
8. Standing, hands behind back, breasts thrust forward, legs spread shoulder-width apart, lips parted, eyes moist, knees slightly bent (it's that fainting thing again), muscles in arms starting to remind her that she is definitely not 21 yrs old anymore, regardless of what she believes she is.
9. Kneeling, bottom on calves, hands grasping ankles, feeling body listing slightly to the right, trying to compensate, overdo it, falling on left side, but NEVER letting go of the ankles.
10. Kneeling, then laying prone (well, while kneeling) so that the head is touching the floor and arms are stretched out before her. Praying that He doesn't step on her fingers while He walks around… and recognizing that if her tummy were much rounder she'd be lucky if her fingertips found the carpet.
11. Hands and feet on floor, body arched in a backbend, which is held for a grand total of 8 seconds (Hey! That's long enough for a rodeo rider to win!)
12. Kneeling, bent over at the waist, hands behind the back, legs spread (more for balance than exposure) and the challenge of not pitching forward flat on her face.
13. Kneeling with body laid backward over the calves and feet, hands laid on stomach, and full knowledge she will never be able to get up without the help of a crane.
14. Kneeling and prone with legs spread very wide so that breasts may touch the floor and recognizing that if gravity takes over any more, she could just slightly bend at the waist and her nipples would feel the carpet.
15. On hands and knees for the purpose of being used as a table and hoping the dominant doesn't decide to take up smoking.
16. On knees… chest, head and arms to the floor, bottom up in the air...hmmm...another one not to tease about....*pant*pant*grin*
17. Standing, hands behind back, elbows touching (uh, yeah, right....)
18. Same as #17 but in kneeling position.
19. On back, knees bent, legs over head (like in the bicycle exercise position)
20. Sitting on the floor, left leg (right, if you're left-handed) up and behind the back. Great for exposure of the submissive, but likely she'll never be the same again.
21. Hand-stand, legs apart, hoping the carpet is softer on the way down than it feels to the top of your head and that all that blood will flow slowly back to the rest of your body...and knowing it won't, so also hoping your Dom won't panic when you pass out.
22. Standing, hands grasping ankles, legs apart, muscles stretching in places you didn't know you had muscles because the last time you did this was in 5th grade gym class and, at 11, you were a bit more limber! * In this Position you fully come to realize the definition of BOHICA
23. Standing, facing the nearest wall, hands touching the wall, legs apart,
24. Lying on one's back, left thigh flat on the floor, leg bent at the knee with calf/foot to the side,
25. Squatting, hands behind neck, back straight, hoping no one within earshot runs any water.
26. Standing on right foot, left leg curved around right, arms in front, elbows touching, forearms and hands intertwined, wondering if you'll ever be able to get the hell out of this position!
27. Standing, kneeling, sitting, looking at your partner
~Author Unknown~
from an older submissive's point of view.
No disrespect is intended.
*grins*
knees bent so the blood supply is not cut off and the sub faints.
(okay, wouldn't even think to mess with this one *smile*)
*Very attractive once you get past the laughter*
Younger submissives can be expected to last 12 seconds.
arms flat on surface, tears come to her eyes while trying to remember the name of that chiropractor a friend told her about.
(Bend Over, Here it Comes Again.)*
back curved in whatever the opposite of "arched" is,
belly and breasts hanging, mind wondering when the body started to go
and deciding that thinking about what to make for dinner
is a much more pleasant way to pass the time.
right leg up toward the head and tucked under the right shoulder,
left arm flung over the head, eyes downcast, and smiling
(or grimacing through the pain, whichever the case may be...I'd vote on the latter.)
knowing that regardless of the fact that you're not as limber and flexible
as you may have once been,
it doesn't really matter because it's the submission not the position.
*velvet does not know the author of this article.
If you know who wrote this, please email so I may give credit to the author.* 
