"So are you happy that he's not here?" Sarah asked me later that night. I shrugged.

"Sort of.. it's always really tense between us when we're in the same room together... I'm kinda relieved that he has a show tonight. I just hope we leave before they get home."

"Mmm.. does Carol know about how things are between you and Taylor?"

"Nope." I said, shaking my head. "Hasn't got a clue. Thats why she's always inviting me to come along to these dinners. I can't turn around and say No.. then she'd know something was up. Carols great and everything.. but she isn't Mum.." I said, trailing off at the mention of my Mother. I shouldn't have brought it up.

"When are you gonna tell your Dad about that?" Sarah asked, taking my hand in hers. We were in the living room, just the two of us. We were the oldest of the 'children' there, so we could escape from the younings. I shrugged.

"I have no idea... how can I tell Dad something like that?"

"Tell me something like what?" A voice asked from the doorway. I looked up to see my Dad. At the sight of him, my face crumpled. Sarah wrapped me up in a hug. My Father stepped into the room and sat down on the other side of me. "Liz, what's wrong?" He asked.

"I... I didn't want to tell you like this.... hell, I don't know how I was going to tell you.... Dad, Mum doesn't want me.." I sobbed as Sarah rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. I looked up at him. He was clearly confused. "I got a letter from her last week.... she... she doesn't want me home..."

"I'll leave you two alone." Sarah said, starting to get up. My hand shot out and grabbed her arm. I couldn't do this alone.

"No. Stay" I told her. Sarah nodded and sat down next to me again. The next half hour was spent talking with my Dad. He decided to call my Mother the next day to sort everything out and determine if the letter actually had truth to it or not. Then we could talk about what to do next.

"I came in here to see if you two wanted some dessert..." Dad said, as through trying to explain his sudden appearance at the door. I smiled.

"Nothing for me thanks.." I said. Sarah declined also. Dad nodded and left us alone.

"Wow.... I didn't think it would go like that." I said, leaning back against the sofa. Sarah smiled.

"Do you feel better?" She asked. I nodded.

"It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's something I don't have to worry about anymore. Well, not to the extent it was anyway." I sighed. "I only wish I could sort out everything else.". Everything else being Taylor.

"You will sweetie. I'm here to help you now. Don't worry Liz, everything will work out." Sarah told me. Always the optimist. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, leaving Sarah alone in the living room. After using the toilet and washing my hands, I walked back down the hall towards the living room.

"So you're the Sarah Liz can't shut up about hey? Geez, are all the Aussie girls as good looking as you two?". I knew that voice all to well. Groaning, I slumped agaisnt the wall, face forward. Oh this day just keeps getting better and better. I thought. Dman it! I couldn't face Taylor tonight. I didn't have the strength.

"Nah, just me and Liz." Sarah said. Taylor laughed and I melted. Damn it! Not now Taylor! I screamed in my head. Taking a deep breath I forced myself to walk into the living room. Sarah was still on the sofa and Taylor was seated in an arm chair across from her. Both smiling heads turned to look at me. Smiling a smile that must have looked forced, I sat down next to Sarah.

"Hey Liz. Haven't seen you for a while. How's things?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yep." I said, looking at anything but him. It was then that Sarah left me with him, claiming that she needed some air. I didn't blame her for going. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. But, that wasn't going to stop me from killing her later for leaving.

"So..." Taylor said, waiting for me to say something. "Why haven't I seen you around? You never come to the shows anymore.. to busy with Jason huh?"

"Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I was avoiding you? And not that it's any of your business, but Jason and I broke up today." I snapped. I knew he would find out about Jason and I through Danielle so what was the harm in telling him now. His face showed the surprise I was expecting.

"Really? Why?" He asked.

"Why what?" I asked.

"Both things I guess..."

"Think about it Taylor...". He was silent.

"I still have feelings for you Liz." He told me. I looked up at him. How much longer could I fight all of this? I sighed.

"Don't say that Taylor."

"It's the truth." Taylor got up and sat down where Sarah had been.

"Taylor... don't." I said, moving away from him. "This is why I'm avoiding you! Everytime we're alone, you try something with me... or bring everything up! I'm trying to forget you Tay... forget my feelings so it doesn't hurt everytime I see you! There! I admited it! I have feelings for you Taylor... stronger than you could ever understand. But my reasons still stand. Danielle is head over heels for you and I can't... I won't act on my feelings again!" I exploded. Taylor stared at me as if what I'd just said had finally sunk in. He now understood that I meant what I said. He nodded.

"Okay... fine Liz... fine, we'll have it your way. It's to hard fighting you on this. It's so frustrating because I know you feel the same way about me." Taylor said, getting up from his seat beside me. I looked at him with wide eyes as he walked out of the room. Then it hit me that I had lost Taylor now. I had no one. My Mum didn't want me, my boyfriend didn't want me and now I had actually been stupid enough to push Taylor so far away that I couldn't reach him anymore. My eyes filled with tears as I stared at the doorway where Taylor had walked through. I let them fall down my cheeks. Things were so screwed up. I wanted to go back and start the year over but I knew that wasn't possible. With everything in me, I wanted to go after Taylor and tell him exactly how much I felt for him and that I wanted to be together.... but I couldn't hurt Danielle. She was my best friend and she had no clue about how I felt about her boyfriend. I vaguely wondered why Taylor was still with her if he cared for me so much. I got up from my seat and wonderd down the hallway towards the bathroom. There was light coming out from under one of the closed doors and music coming from that room. I stopped and listened and recognised it as Lifehouse. The song was only beggining and I stood and listened.

"I can't be losing sleep over this, no I cant And now I can not stop pacing Give me a few hours and I'll have this all sorted out If my mind would just stop racing

I can not stand still I can't be this unsturdy This can not be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet Because by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat And everything will be back to the way it was I wish that it was just that easy.."

I heard someone singing, it was Taylor. I slowly pushed open the door a crack and peered in. He was sitting on what I assumed was his bed, side on to me. His head was down, as though he was singing to the floor. It broke my heart to see him like that. I pushed open the door fully and stood, silent, in the doorway. It wasn't until near the end of the song that Taylor noticed me there. He stood up.

"What?"

"I... ah, I wanted to ask you something..." I stammered.

"Go on.."

"Well... if you feel so strongly for me.. why are you with Danielle?"

"Well, you've said yourself, even if I weren't with her, you wouldn't go out with me.. as long as she still had feelings for me. Don't get me wrong Liz, I do have feelings for Danielle.. I'm not some heartless asshole who's with a girl for the sake of having a girlfriend but my feelings for you are just so much stronger. I'm tired of the head games. You say you want me but you won't do anything about it because of Danielle. We both know that if I broke up with her then in time she'd get over me. But you've made it perfectly clear that there isn't going to be an "us". I don't know if I can remain just friends with you Liz. It hurts to much. It's probably easier if we just keep on going the way we are, not seeing much of each other. Maybe we should act like we've never met". Taylor didn't look at me while saying this so he couldn't see the tears falling down from my eyes.

"I can't do that Taylor. I can't pretend that we never met." I said quietly.

"God damn it Liz! It's the only fucking way we can do this!" Taylor burst out, making me jump. He swung his eyes up to meet mine. "It's either you want me or you don't know me! They're your only choices"

"That's not fair Taylor! You can't make someone forget someone like you! It's not my fault Danielle's so in love with you! I can't help the way I feel about you but I still need contact with you. It's killed me not being around you like I used to be. I wont choose between the crapy choices you gave me. They suck Taylor. We can make it work being just friends, you're just scared that if we do that then I'll lose my feelings for you."

"Thats not true. I honestly don't think it'll work. The 'just friends' thing is to hard. Whenever we're around each other, I see the look on your face whenever Danielle kisses me or takes hold of my hand. I see how much it hurts you."

"It does hurt, but I can live with it. I'll be able to get past it if we're able to give this a chance! I dont want to go on pretending that I don't know you. I won't do it Taylor"

"Well you're going to have to... It's either that... or I confess everything to Danielle. My feelings, the kisses we've shared, everything." Taylor said, turning away from me. I stood there, shocked.

"Taylor.... don't.." I choked out, hot salty tears filling my eyes.

"It's my only choice." He said softly. I waited for a few seconds before turning and fleeing from his room. Only 10 minutes later, I pleaded a headache and asked Dad to take me home. Sarah came with me, my father returning to the Hansons.

Eleven
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