Talk to Me
| Tale of the Emotari
It is unknown when they first actually came to this planet. All we know is what they have allowed to come out. You know how they (Kevin especially) talk about fate bringing them together. Ha! More like part of (I'm assuming a sinister plot, but it might be quite benign, it feels good so far anyway) a plot to glom onto our emotions and maintain a chokehold on our love and loyalty to all things Emotari, sorry, BSB. Also, their earth incarnations or disguises or however they are cloaked are not foolproof (and watch what you're calling me) or I would not have been able to notice and surmise what I have been able to notice and surmise about them. I believe this is due to some sort of intra-ship malfunction caused by some catastrophe during the Emotar-Earth journey. More about this further down in the examples. Okay. First, have you never seen them not eat flies? Aha, I thought so. Of course they're not going to eat them where you can see them eat them. And it is very, nay diabolically clever to appear to be chowhounds when they are observed eating or appearing to eat earth fare. Howie's and Nick's speech patterns (wow, their syntax and parts of speech programs must really have malfunctioned). Kevin's v-e-r-y s-l-o-w interview speech pattern (I understand he is capable of great fluency while cursing when angry). Brian's clever imitation of a thick Kentucky accent (note that his first cousin with whom he was practically raised does not have the same one, well only a slight one to throw you off the scent). AJ's situational stutter. It is my belief that the intra-ship malfunction of unknown duration caused an individually differentiated glitch in the downloading of their English language programs thus causing the above anomalies.
Someone, sorry whoever posted that favorite color question. Almost everyone (and those who didn't are under the direct influence of the Emotari or I'm a duck) had blue in heir answer. I said it then and I'll say it now. They spread their message of "love us, we're lizards" through brain waves which travel along that particular wavelength of the light-color spectrum by which we perceive the color blue. Alien technology being what it is, they all had to have microprocessor chips implanted to augment their reptilian brains. That is why when you see them in interviews, when one is giving a long or involved answer to a question, the others will appear to space out. Uh, unh. They are automatically powering down to avoid ionic battery drain, like your Furby is quiet when you're not talking to it. All except Nick. Maybe because he's the biggest Emo-...BSB and has more matter for those impulses to travel through, his spacey eye movements and wandering attention are really an internal systems diagnostic. His last check must have set him on high because if you recall during that Ultrasound interview, he was interrupting everybody and talking across everyone like mad. As with all programs there are occasional glitches, "he's mah cousin" and the way Howie (and it's always Howie) repeats word for word the story of how they got together with the same hand gestures and everything. All the peace signs (Kevin and Howie) and Kevin's road show imitation of a flower child are due to a loop in the history program (it kept replaying the late 60's one too many times, thus trapping poor Boo). Also, somehow not downloading some key elements of pop culture for the Howster (buy a TV, dude). The LTL video was in actual fact a home movie of part of their journey. Note Kevin adjusting his nasal filters that allow them to breathe earth air. There was a really big mistake in the official photo book. They allowed Andre to put in that picture of Nick and AJ on the floor. They were not sleeping. All reptiles become torpid and lethargic in those colder European climates. And those pink balloons were not party condoms, those were egg sacs. If they are the same gender that they are in their true forms, that means they left the females behind andthus the necessity of bringing egg sacs to fertilize. Lizard or not, they're still my Boys. Now, I'm sure it has occurred to you to wonder exactly how they got here from Emotar (don't even ask me what star cluster it is in but I do get the feeling that it's further out than the Rigel system). How do you hide even a small interstellar craft? Mmm, hmmm, I find it coincidental that Chieron Studios is closing just, as should be about time for the ship's 7 quadrillion-mile checkup. Swedish BSB fans, see if you can get a look under that building. I wonder if Brian has told Leighanne they were going to be making a small side trip during the honeymoon. I wonder if they've told Leighanne period. They must not be total carnivores if the dogs aren't afraid of........Hey, wait a minute........You don't think that's what's up with all those little dogs, do you, if they are real dogs. If they are real, for the sake of political correctness I'm not going to assume that the dogs are in charge because that would be saying that mammalian intelligence is superior to reptilian intelligence and I'm not looking to get poison-laced hate mail from Gila monsters. At least not this time anyway. What IS the function of all those little yappy dogs? I'll have to think about that one. The dogs are used as secret communication devices between the "guys" and the mother ship!! Notice how Lil' Tyke is ALWAYS with Brian or one of the other guys!! The high pitched yapping is instructions to the guys from the mother ship... Good enough? Or do I need to go watch more X-Files? a) As far as the speech malfunction thing: why is it that Howie repeats EVERYTHING? It's always in two's: as if he skips. OH, how could I forget PHOENIX STONE! Ever notice how much he looks like a reptile? I'm assuming he wasn't disguised well enough and had too many glitches (one of them apparently being a much too inflated ego)...But why was he allowed to remain on earth? Is he a rogue Emotari? And I agree about the strangeness of Phoenix Stone. Maybe he was an earlier version of the present incarnations that did not work because when attempted his Emotar emotion broadcast technique, Earth females responded with animosity rather than love and he had to go. You saw what they did to that Trent McJivvers dude. That interstellar catastrophe (see above) just messed with the Emotari programming and facial appliance fit in some specimens. And (with apologies to all PS fans, but hey, if I can poke fun at our Boys, the non-Boy gets it too) if you've heard him sing, he's no threat. With very little Earth female-attraction capability, his threat is almost nil. We risk much talking in the open like this but you don't see any of the above-mentioned pink egg sacs attached to AJ now, do you? As Pink would say, "There you go." Since he was the Emotari with the strongest brooding skills, he was chosen to hatch the eggs (see picture of Nick and AJ on the floor in The Official Book and the note about the picture in prior posts). We can see the Emotari larvae (I know they look like lizards) because we are Emotari-sensitized, but those are cloaked baby Boys. Prolific little devils, aren't they? I kind of have it figured out but it needs more work. I think Lou ET ALS were the evil government agents sent to control and destroy our intrepid lizard heroes. Blessedly, the Boys escaped the sinister plot to replace their current emotion-shredding programming with (shudder) Boy Band chips! Oh the horror! OF COURSE! (Slapping both hands on top of head a la Brian in ALAYLM when he sees LA) How could I have been sooooo blind! The reason that IWITW and SOMH are
so incomprehensible is that they are.......... (Wait for it)............. Emotari source code signals to the home planet! Man! It's so simple. All that airplay for the single bounces off all those towers and satellites and things up there and you know some of those radio signals are going to bounce off into space. upon her request, shall remain nameless- you know who you are.
|
|
