Sometime during the night, not too terribly long after arriving at the party, Brianna began to lose track of what she was drinking and just how much of it she was drinking. The party started off good. She felt upbeat. Though if you asked her later what she talked about she wouldn’t be able to tell you, she did talk to many new people. And it seemed, to Brianna at the time, she was having the most enlightening conversations.

But as the night wore on the effects of the Ecstasy wore off. As she came down from her high she tried to compensate by increasing her alcohol intake.

“What’s the matter Bree?” It was John and he was looking at her funny.

She licked her lips before answering. “Brianna.”

He chuckled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, it’s just hot, that’s all.”

“Come on.” He was pulling her up to standing and her muscles were screaming in protest.

“Where are we going?” By now it was difficult to form words into sentences.

“Someplace where it’s cooler. Come on.” He tugged her arm to get her to follow him. Brianna did so with her eyes closed. The room was spinning and she suddenly felt very sick to her stomach. Then she felt something cool on her cheek. Slowly she began to realize it was the crisp coolness of a sheet and that she was laying down somewhere. Someone was rubbing her back and brushing the hair off her face. “See, you need me to be around to take care of you. You need to let me take care of you.” Brianna could only nod her head in agreement. “Your skin is so hot honey. Don’t you want to cool off?” Again she could only nod her head. She felt very hot, almost feverish. The bed moved slightly and she groaned from the motion. A minute later she felt a cool damp cloth on the back of her neck. “That feel nice?” She didn’t even bother to answer. “Here why don’t we move this out of the way?” She could feel her shirt being pulled up over her head, but before she could even think to argue the coolness of the washcloth was covering her back. “Now, doesn’t that feel better?” She nodded her head, or at least she tried, but hurt from the effort. “Don’t try and move, just let me take care of you.”

She could feel him laying down next to her and massaging her back with the damp cloth. There was a cool breeze in the room, presumably from the air conditioner or maybe a fan. Brianna wasn’t about to open her eyes to find out. She just wanted to go to sleep. She wanted tomorrow to come so she could feel better. She wanted him to stop undressing her. Now she felt the material of her shorts sliding down her legs and being pulled off her feet. Steeling herself against the wave of nausea Brianna forced herself over onto her back to look at the man next to her.

“What do you think you are doing?” Her voice was raspy and dry.

“What do you think I’m doing? I know you’re not that naive Brianna. You know I’ve wanted you since high school.”

“But…” Her mind was spinning right along with the room churning the contents of her stomach. Taking a deep breath she continued, “But you don’t love me.”

That’s when he laughed, really laughed. “Okay, maybe you are that naïve. What, if anything, does love have to do with sex?”

“Everything, John.” She found the strength to push him away and pull herself off the bed. “It has everything to do with it.” She reached for her shorts and tried to put them on, finally opting to sit on the floor to achieve her goal.

“Oh, okay. So, I’ve been doing this all wrong then. I get it now. If I tell you I love you, then you’ll let me fuck you? Is that what he’s been doing all this time?”

Grabbing for her shirt she said, “As usual you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

John grabbed for the shirt holding it in his fist. “No, Bree,” he sneered, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You really think that BOY could love you. He’s just telling you that to get what he wants, a piece of ass. And as soon as you’re out of sight he’s telling another little girl the same exact thing to get more of the same from her. Hell I get his game now. Instead of hating the man for having what belongs to me I should admire him for perfecting the game.” He had long since thrown the shirt back onto the bed and step-by-step had backed Brianna against a wall.

“I’m not yours, John. And I’m not his. Okay, can’t you understand that? He doesn’t want me.” She looked away as tears threatened to take over.

“What?” She shook her head. She did not want to repeat the last part of her statement. John grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look at him. And he asked a bit softer, “What?”

Brianna closed her eyes. She couldn’t look at him. The first man in her life she was willing to give herself to obviously didn’t want her. The last thing she wanted to do was admit that to herself much less to someone else. But she conceded. In a whisper she answered, “He doesn’t want me. He’s never wanted me.”

John relaxed his grip on her face and smoothed his palm across her cheek. “See, that should prove to you then that love really has nothing to do it. Love is a waste of energy better put to more, um, productive activities.”

Before Brianna realized what was going on John was kissing her pinning her body against the wall with his own. She could feel his hands everywhere and it turned her stomach. As soon as he forced his tongue in her mouth she knew she was going to be sick. Trying to pull away from him only increased his desired to hold her still. Reacting more than actually thinking, Brianna bit down on his tongue, hard. As soon as he released her she turned to make a dash for the bathroom.

“Serves you right you stupid little tease. Find your own fucking way home. And don’t come crawling to me when you need your next fix!” She heard the door slam as he exited the room. Her tears came almost as violently as the exodus of alcohol from her stomach.

<~ Chapter 48 or Chapter 50 ~>

In the End

Karina 2003