Sitting on the plane Brianna was somewhere between that half-awake, half-asleep dream world. She had amazingly finished her research assignment. It was not her best work, but at least it was complete. After making flight arraignments and calling Nick she had nothing else to do but go to bed and try to sleep.

“Brianna? Hey sleepy head, can you wake up for me?” Turning over she saw Mitchell sitting on the side of her bed. He was in shorts and a t-shirt and looked like he had just gotten out of the shower. She smiled at him. Not so much because she was happy to see him, but more out of thanks. After drifting to sleep she had once again entered that nightmarish hell where she was unable to escape from the memories of the rape. Mitchell had thankfully just woken her from reliving the worst parts of it. “Such a pretty smile. I will miss that while you are gone. I’m sorry for leaving earlier. I just needed to clear my head and get some fresh air. Driving always helps me with that.” He was stroking the side of her cheek with his fingers, something he had started doing the past few weeks. It was a feathery touch as if he were touching a delicate porcelain doll that would crumble to dust if disturbed too much. She watched him wide eyed as he slowly leaned down and kissed first the tip of her nose and then softly touching his lips to hers. He hesitated there only a second before pulling away. He had not even attempted to kiss her in over three weeks. Brianna figured he was giving her space and time to heal.

Looking up at him she just watched him for a few minutes. She watched him watching her. Watched him sitting there on the side of what was agreed upon as her bed in the house, with one hand on either side of her. Finally, when she realized he wasn’t going to say anything else she found her voice and spoke up. “What is it? Mitchell, is something wrong?”

Giving her a small smile Mitchell shook his head. “Nothing is wrong sweetheart. Just taking in all I can. I don’t think it hit me until tonight how much I like having you around. It has been a long time since any woman has spent this much time with me, spent any amount of time at all in the house with me. Definitely been a while since I have had the opportunity to take care of a woman.”

“Thank you for taking care of me. I don’t think I have said that to you thanked you that is. I don’t know how I would have survived these past few weeks if it hadn’t been for you.” And she really meant that.

“It was the least I could do. Besides, you have no idea how much enjoyment you bring to my day.” She was melting. She could feel it. She could feel herself melting into a warm puddle right there in the bed. They were such sweet words, and no one had ever said anything like that before to her. “Can I stay in here with you tonight? I understand if you’d rather I didn’t. If it makes you uncomfortable I’ll understand. I just want to spend a little more time with you before you leave.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind, really.”

At the time she didn’t really think about it. But now in the semi-dream state she was in she was able to play everything back in her mind in slow motion. While doing so she realized that for the first time in her life she slept in the same bed with another man other than Nick. She felt guilty, like she had cheated on a long-time boyfriend. She rationalized in her head that nothing had happened. That they had just slept, nothing more. And in fact, when she had woken up in the morning to get ready for class Mitchell was gone; not just from the bed, but gone from the house as well. Almost as if he had never come home.

But sitting on the side of her bed was a note; a red rose and what looked like an aspirin bottle. Reading the note she found out it was actually a small bottle of White Crosses for her to take with her. Mitchell said in his note that she might need them if this was as important of a date for Nick as she said it would be. He wanted her to be able to be awake and have fun. He told her he would be waiting for her when she got home and to be ‘good’. Across the room on the overstuffed chair she had spotted several outfits laid out for her. Mitchell had selected some things for her to take and reminded her in his letter to always look her best because it made him happy.

So, after packing her things in her car she left his house and went to class. The day progressed and here she was, finally on the plane on her way to see Nick. She was on her way to face the one man she was willing to give herself to completely, heart and body. And the one man who had hurt her so deeply with those three words, ‘Not with you.’ Was it all some sort of misunderstanding? Could she ever really get her friendship back with Nick to the way it was before? Did she want that?

She felt like she was flying into the center of confusion and chaos. Ahead of her there was uncertainty and the real possibility of her heart being shattered. Behind her was safety and security with someone, who may not love her, would at least cherish her. Behind her was the absolute of an unbroken heart, or was it? As much as she cared for Mitchell, if she choose him would it mean she was giving up on love, real love? And in giving that up would that not break her heart as well? It was a hard choice to make. Yes, she had some tough decisions ahead of her and she just wanted to escape from them all.

First class had its rewards. Getting attention of the flight attendant she ordered another drink to try to force these troubling thoughts from her mind. She was going to see Nick and that was all that should matter. One way or another she was going to make it all that mattered.

<~ Chapter 87 or Chapter 89 [coming soon]~>

In the End

NEW CHAPTERS COMING SOON!!!

Karina 2003