Random Thoughts on Random Topics

Thats me and my buds from Mooresville (my home town) in Disney World. I'm the one in the British police officer hat.

Anna Kournikova or Britney Spears?- I've been thinkin' about this for over three years and i still can't decide. If you polled the nation it would be 50/50 on this quesion.

Great High School Moment #1: In Chemistry, Mr. Childers said "They finally got rid of that hooker down at the Mooresville Golf Center", and Justin goes "the Asian one?" and Mr. Childers goes "that's her!"

Funniest thing I've ever heard on the radio: On 99.7 WFMX in Charlotte, the DJ says, "Its a great day to be out on the lawn playing with your kids, and if you don't have kids its a great day to be out on the lawn conceiving them."

Sup?- Nutin'

Lazy David or Swift and Graceful David?- Lazy David

The Stupidest Thing Ever Done: True story. Some guy in Iran sent a mail bomb, but it had an incorrect address so it was returned to him. Forgeting what was inside, he opened the package and was killed instantley from the explosion.

Weird Fact: Meat Loaf is a vegetarian.

Theodore Roosevelt rules all. Why? He was the original Rough Rider. No, not Ruff Ryder like DMX; the Rough Rider volunteeers in the Spanish-American War. In other words, DMX is a miss-spelling poser of Teddy Rossevelt.

And TR packed heat while he was the Prez. Thats right: good ole Teddy always had his trusty pistol at his side.

Dirty joke time: A man walks past two elderly women and exposes himself. One woman has a stroke, the other can't reach it. Ba da bing!

Kurt has the honor of saying the dumbest and the most confusing two things ever said to me.

The Dumb One: When I told him about my theory that the entire world population could all live in a trailor park the size of Texas, Kurt said, "But no one lives in Antartica." Um . . . yeah.

The Confusing One: "Mexico isn't really a country, it's Europe, how Europe really, they just don't wanna us to know we got it so good here." You can find this on his Special K-Not the Cereal website.

Great High School Moment #2: In AP US History, Mr. Millsaps was showing us this video on nuclear blasts. The video showed this pig and then a nuclear blast. When it went back to the pig, the side of the pig that faced the blast was litterally cooked; but the pig was still alive and his non-fried side was freakin' out. So we're sitting there watching in disgust as this half-cooked pig wobbles around when Mr. Millspas broke the silence by saying: "Mmm . . . BACON!"

Is it just me, or is "incognito" the coolest sounding word ever?

Seriously, i really love that word.

Graduating High School is very overated. At least in public ones. And my high school, South Iredell, was very public. I mean seriously, I took all the hard classses and it was still easy as crap. Honestly, there's no excuse. Easy!

As a result of this, my GPA at Wake Forest now resembles Ed Walsh's career ERA (look it up).

Me and Amar had the honor of playing the greatest NFL Fever game ever. The 2 highlights were my impossible play and my last second field goal attempt. On my one of a kind play, Griese handed the ball off to Terrel Davis and right before Warren Sapp hit Davis in the backfield, TD pitched the ball back to Griese (complete with Amar going "oh shit!") who threw to a wide open Ed McCaffery for a 56 yard touchdown score. With 10 seconds left in the game and with me trailing 18-15, I returned Amar's kick-off to the 42, which meant a 50 yard field goal. Jason Elam's kick looked true, but sailed just a foot wide to the right. Game over. I lost. But I'm damned proud of that loss.

October 11, 2002: Me and my bud Christian met Bruce Campbell. Shook his hand, got the Evil Dead 2 DVD signed. Strike that off the list of things to do before I die.

U subsituation is the pick-and-roll of calculus: it ain't pretty, but it works when all else fails.

By far the coolest way to put out a candle is to lick your fingers and then squezze the flame out.

There's two situations where anything is possible. One involves Jesus, the other involves MacGyver with duct tape.