You know you’re a
sailing nerd when….
(by Ashley M.
Josie D. Jan D. and Jordan M.)
1. You jibe in your sleep.
2. You refer to left and right only as port and starboard.
3. You only set foot on land to replenish the candy box on your boat.
4. You can use the term bow toggle cable turnbuckle assembly forestay in everyday conversation.
5. Water logged...means nothing to you.
6. You actually take the time to come up with sailing disses.
7. You use these disses daily.
8. Bow toggle cable turnbuckle assembly forestay actually means something to you.
9. You’re proud of the bruises from the spinnaker cleats.
10. You don’t mind your life jacket tan.
11. The life jacket in your boat has a name.
12. The named life jacket is your friend.
13. The only people who understand you are other sailors.
14. You take a whole activity period just to scrape the barnacles off of your boat.
15. You are proud that you scraped the barnacles off of your boat because not only will it now be faster, it’s just better when it’s clean.
16. When you slip-n-slide, Scot class trivia is a given.
17. You accidentally sail half way to New Burn because you were flying a spinnaker.
18. You know every detail of your Scot but have no idea where your camper is.
19. You spend your day off sailing a Scot either by yourself or you bring along a friend.
20. You know the mystery behind the mystery ring.
21. You have mooring line scum on your bathing suit.
22. You have rug burn-ish marks from something that looks like a no-slip strip in your bathtub.
23. The word “jellyfish” no longer strikes terror into you
24. You buy special pants just for the jellyfish.
25. You think cannonballing into three feet of water is fun.
26. Smacking dead-on into the pier is just part of a day on the job.
27. You think “tabernacle” does not refer to something religious
28. You cry over spilt winch cranks.
29. The term “Land” is like a war cry for the enemy.
30. You know how to pronounce bowline.
31. You know the story of the bunny and the tree.
32. You also know what the Mickey Mouse knot is.
33. You buy knot tying books just for fun (well, maybe that’s just me)
34. You’ve shouted “Quarterdeck!” until your lungs hurt.
35. Your life jacket likes to be happy.
36. Bruises are just part of the ride; no bruise, no fun.
37. Swinging from a thin piece of wire over shallow water is fun.
38. A whip preventer is not someone who stops whip lash.
39. The words “Let’s turn around and come back” are incredibly familiar.
40. You can add things to this list.
41. Singing “Noah” or “Titanic” while out at sea is a little ominous.
42. The words “New Burn” and “Oriental” indicate direction, not towns, to you.
43. You enjoy having wind in your britches.
44. You have a lifejacket tan, including the stripe from the strap.
45. Capsizing is like Christmas all over again!
46. You have tied a whipping to at least one item that is with you at all times.
47. Brownish-green water equals fun.
48. You think making bracelets out of rope and a rope cutter is the coolest thing in the world.
49. You talk as if your lifejacket was a person (Emily….“but I love him…”).
50. A calm day is depressing.
51. Rudder tag is the best game you’ve ever played.
52. Motorboats are your enemies.
53. You mock the motorboating circle.
54. You get upset when you find the mooring line has become disgusting.
55. Not only do you not mind touching the mooring lines…you haven’t really thought about it.
56. You equate the Neuse with a large body of water (sea).
57. All of your bathing suits have a brown tint.
58. You’re astonished when you find that someone prefers motorboating (or the land for that matter).
59. You steal rope from the sail loft so you can tie bowlines behind your back.
60. You could entertain yourself for hours with a length of rope.
61. You get very upset when a furl stop is missing.
62. You’ve played bumper scots.
63. You yell at sunfish more then 5 times an activity period.
64. You know that the scots are made in Dear Park Maryland.
65. You know that the sails are made in Pensacola Florida.
66. You permanently smell like a cross between fish and mildew.
67. You have plenty of cloths but wear only the bathing suit and shorts.
68. You know from personal experience that the weather strippings do NOT work.
69. You know what is wrong with every scot.
70. You know how fast each scot is in relation to the others.
71. You think it’s funny that the banana popped again.
72. You think right before a squall is the best time.
73. You have sneakers…but they’ve never been used.
74. You’ve sacrificed at least one pair of sunglasses and a visor to the Neuse.
75. You don’t mind picking up jellyfish with your bare hands.
76. You deliberately throw a man overboard just so you can rescue him.
77. You can fix anything with a furl stop.
78. Rain equals more water and therefor more fun.
79. You are able to coil the painter.
80. You don’t mind that you have blisters on every finger.
81. You know what a scupper is and that they don’t work.
82. You know the correct settings for fare leads.
83. The boom vang tastes like lickerish.
84. You’ve sailed through crab pots.
85. You’ve stood on the bow with a spinnaker and said “the colors…the pretty colors…”
86. When someone has a bucket and a rod you immediately ask to join them.
87. You forget that the campers are supposed to sail.
88. You’re able to get onto a scot…almost gracefully.
89. You know the tower can not help you.
90. You’ve been pulled by the painter.
91. You’ve peed off the side of a scot.
92. It’s ok when you loose the pliers because you use your teeth anyways.
93. You’ve said, “You haven’t finished furling until you’ve scrubbed the hull and mooring.” More then once.
94. You’ve thought about just hitting the motorboats who’ve docked upwind.
95. You can quote your scot packet.
96. You know that a scot is 850 lbs, 675 bare hull.
97. You know (and can say) both parts of the bow toggle plate assembly.
98. When there’s no wind, you get someone to simulate it.
99. Your roommate thinks you’re nuts because you crack up over this list.
100. You’ve sailed through crab pots with a spinnaker…and lived to tell about it.
101. You’ve sat under the bow to see if the tower will notice you disappeared.
102. You’ve shouted commands in your sleep.
103. You don’t mind showing people your butt because there’s a big bruise from the spinnaker cleats.
104. To you, the term “Flying Jibe” is both an accident and an insult.
105. You can sail with your feet.
106. You sail better with a blow pop in your mouth.
107. You’re excited about the new mooring lines.
108. You’ve completely rigged before anyone was on the tower…just so they can tell you to furl.
109. When you see a movie or read a book about sailing…you find yourself yelling at it about how they’re doing it wrong (or is that just me?)
110. If you've ever made jewelry out of a lark's head .
111. You've ever received an award titled "sail loft junkie."
112. You've ever become a prune from sitting in the baby pool for an entire activity period.
113. You made the baby pool swim/dive team.
114. You ever had a crush on robert or allen.
115. You've sat on the pier "helping" the dock master.
116. You can make up plausible passwords.
117. You have seen a sunfish capsize in mooring.
118. Hitting buoys is fun to you.
119. You have used code words to mean capsize NOW!
120. You've gotten asked to leave the racing tower.
121. You know what sound a kangaroo makes.
122. You can determine what time it is by the flags on the tower.
123. Three longs whistles signifies something to you.
124. You are aware, but pay no attention to, the fact that there is no port tack rudder rule.
125. You know what's in the admiral's cabin.
126. You've been given access to the tool closet.
127. You've ever attempted to take a ride on the spinning sunfish.
128. You're the only to identify mistakes at rig and furl review.
129. You've ever raced someone rigging and furling a sunfish.
130. You don't own sunscreen, you just use the excess in the sail loft.
131. You know all the words to sailing and the river.
132. You've ever pretended to sail across the cage during dances.
133. You use your yes no I don't know I can't hear you sign in everyday life.... and sing the song regularly to explain what you mean to your friends.
134. You can recite all sailing ranks in the blue book in order and the requirements for each.
135. You have achieved at least the majority of those ranks.
136. You like to show off the bumps on your ankle/butt from your various jellyfish stings.
137. Your first love is named scot... with one t.
138. You've stayed up late trying to remember that a sail is dacron and the spinnaker is nylon.
139. You've ever dragged a lifejacket for five minutes in the water trying to trick your fellow sailors.
140. You've done a live man overboard, or at least been threatened with one.
141. You can recite the procedure for landing on a lee shore backwards in the middle of a math test.
142. You can sail with out a rudder.
143. You've ever left campers on the dock so you could keep sailing.
144. You've ever gone into mooring just so someone else wouldn't have to do a solo mooring.
145. You've ever almost strangled yourself w/ a boomvang.
146. You know the difference between tang plates and chain plates.
147. Can roll a sail tightly... and not break a batten.
148. People forget you're not supposed to be in the sail loft.
149. You know Bernoulli’s theory and can say it backwards.
150. “Let’s go over nomenclature” is incredible familiar.
151. You like playing the nomenclature game.
152. You’ve played on the stationary teaching sunfish.
153. You can’t see the bottom of your boat because of the blow pop wrappers.
154. You know why the bottom of a scot is speckled.
155. When a stay close flag is up you sail half way across the river.
156. You can fix the becket block without getting up.
157. you feel so close to your fellow sailors you feel it necessary to invent familial relations.
158. You can name all of the sailboats in the marina
159. Iliad and odyssey who?
160. You've ever hit cille and lloyd's boat
161. You've ever run half a mile to get on a cruising boat
162. You know just enough about motors to get in and out of the marina
163. You have something entitled "my first sail repair"
164. You have ever had sail clip related injuries
165. You have ever stolen sail clips from your neighboring sunfish in order to make your boat sail more efficiently
166. You have a favorite sunfish, scot, cruising boat, hobie, and JY
167. You know what all of those are and how many of each the camp owns
168. You've ever been dunked or thrown into the neuse and thought of as an award, not a punishment
169. You ever bought walmart flip flops b/c they look better when they're brown
170. You firmly believe pee keeps jellyfish away
171. The neuse is your urinal
172. You don't mind the spider webs on the benches at the sail loft and will crawl through them to get rope
173. You've been the hostess of a sail loft dance party
174. Nudity doesn't bother you
175. You know what the pickle is- and miss it
176. You have ever screamed "there is only one rope on a boat: the boltrope!" repeatedly
177. You know that reefing has nothing to do w/ a coral reef
178. You have ever towed a 850 lb scot through water to reach your buoy in a storm
179. Have sung row row row your boat-leaving a word off the end each time- for a half hour on a calm day
180. White caps = fun
181. The words "no wind" and "land activities in the morning" strike terror in your heart
182. You ever ditched instructional swim to sit at the sail loft
183. You know the exact positions to best pull a JY or hobie onto the beach
184. You can identify the staff by their butts
185. You have ever participated in or seen any of the following: streaking the pier, white whales, grease pencil fight, moonfish or jellyfish fight
186. You know that tv makes dumb children
187. You have asked someone what their eta is… or to see their running fix
188. You have been known to say "pfisteria smfisteria… the wind's kickin!"
189. You can name at least 5 previous sailing masters
190. You know leeroy, robert, allen, chandler, and griffen
191. You can predict the next sailing master and all the UA's
192. You know what an automatic bailer is and that it doesn't work
193. Life is funnier after 3 hours of sailing
194. You teach the staff new ways to tie a bowline
195. You know where all the crabs live- around the mooring lines, duh!
196. You know which counselors have their coast guard
197. Not only do you have, but have taught every sunfish rank and both knot ranks
198. Tennis? Archery? Riflery? Where are those???- 5th year camper/sailor
199. Improper sail and board trim are your pet peeves
200. You buy bathing suits that won't look bad brown
201. Your idea of a good cabin is the one nearest the sail loft- not the mess hall
202. You can draw the transom of a scot
203. You know what a transom is
204. You tell your friends you're on a beam while playing sports- therefore you should be moving faster than them (or maybe that's just me)
205. Marconi doesn't mean your favorite food misspelled
206. Motorboating cruises are almost sacrilegious
207. You've ever been part of a bowline race and won
208. You've ever sailed up a creek in the rain, huddled under a sail for warmth and come back telling your friends about how much fun you had… b/c you got to fly a spinnaker and eat mushy peanut butter and honey sandwiches
209. You've informed your history class on the difference between a genoa jib and a regular jib
210. You draw sailboats on your papers
211. You know the difference between a ketch and yawl is the placement of the mizzen
212. You know what a ketch, yawl and mizzen are
213. You watched message in a bottle just to see the sailboats
214. Every time you pass a harbor, you tend to drool (maybe that's just me)
215. Doing a 360 around a buoy is your idea of a party
216. You've engaged in sailing trash talk
217. You don't know why anyone would want to join the army or airforce- there are no boats
218. You can tie a bowline at least two ways
219. You ever had to go in the neuse in your underwear in order to sail
220. You forget you don't need to find wind direction before you can park your car
221. You've written a research paper on sailing
222. Your idea of a good time is walking out into chest deep water, getting stung, looking like a beached whale, getting bruised and then jumping back into three feet of water to walk back through the jellyfish… b/c you got to spend 10 minutes on the boat before the storm came
223. You can sail w/ your teeth
224. You sail better w/ the tiller up your butt
225. All of your embarrassing moments involve nudity and or seagull boys
226. You've gotten fiberglass in your skin
227. You know how to capsize w/o any wind
228. You've stayed up late at night to think of these
229. You know who is related to who on sailing staff
230. More than 20 of these apply to you…. There fore you truly are one wingding short of a chain plate
231. You learn to sail with your feet just so you can unwrap a blow pop.
232. You’ve gone 10 weeks without being completely dry.
233. You think jumping out of a boat so that it’s 850 pounds can sail right at you is fun.
234. When on land you make a human sail boat and “sail” around.
235. You know our anchors are danforth and that they have two flukes.
236. You know what flukes are.
237. You actually take the time to scrub all 10 Scots.
238. You’re crafty…and sail around…you’re crafty…
239. You’ve chased down run away Scots
240. The words “Sunfish Rescue” make you run for a life jacket.
241. You’ve taken off all the sail clips just to realize it’s the wrong sail.
242. You know which sails are numbered incorrectly.
243. Not only did you hit the pier, you broke a board.
244. When turning in your car you automatically say “prepare to come about…”
245. Your life jacket has taken a flying lesson.
246. You’ve carried masts and booms from sunfish beach to the sail loft more times then you can count.
247. You’ve been hit in the head by the boom numerous times.
248. You use being quarterdeck as an excuse to play in the water.
249. You’ve never been out of gas.
250. You can say bow toggle cable turnbuckle assembly forestay, five times fast.
251. Everyone thinks you’re weird because of this list.
252. You always know what point of sail you’re on…even though there’s not a boat in sight.
253. You’ve never really considered the fact that the Neuse is disgusting.
254. You’ve capsized at least 20 times in a row just to see if you could.
255. You can stump the sailing staff with trivia.
256. You can think of at least five people right off hand who would find this list funny.
257. You’ve sailed with your eyes closed.
258. You’ve spent an activity period attaching new sails and thought it was fun.
259. You permanently have sand in your bathing suit from beaching JY’s.
260. When the stay close flag is up you think “Sweat! Squall! More wind!!”
261. You get homesick for your boat when on land.
262. You’ve declared a certain scot yours and get upset when forced to sail a different one.
263. You almost/did pee your pants reading this list.
264. You know the sailing staff better then your cabin.
265. When your boyfriend comes to visit, you take him sailing. (hmmm….Josie?)
266. You know and can identify a wingding.
267. You’ve snapped a forestay.
268. You can predict which boat will break next and what will break on it.
269. You’re stronger then Robert Marshall because you pulled a scot to a buoy.
270. You’ve docked…on a sunfish.
271. You sway when on land.
272. You’ve corrected the racing course.
273. You’ve been kicked out of general swim because you were in a scot class.
274. As soon as you got on land, you pretended you were sailing.
275. You know what a rudder head mainsheet strap is and its importance.
276. You were part of the train.
277. You’ve raced the sunfish while on a scot.
278. You have at least one piece of rope at any given time.
279. You think splicing is fun.
280. And do it often.
281. You don’t mind looking like a beached whale, and do it daily.
282. You remember that the Pickle sank.
283. You remember several Scots that have sunk.
284. You’ve ever gone sailing for 15 minutes and had an essential piece of your boat break (i.e. the tiller)
285. You’ve ever been towed—by a tender or another sailboat
286. You struggle to carry a gas tank
287. You’ve hit Judge Carr’s boat in the marina
288. You say “chute” instead of “shoot”
289. There’s a special duct-tape repair list especially for the baby pool.
290. You’ve won a baby pool race.
291. You say—“Milk jug? What’s that? Oh! You mean a bailer.”
292. “Meat tenderizer please!” is something you hear everyday.
293. You’ve given up on meat tenderizer and now just use cold water.
294. You’ve helped with checkout.
295. You’ve been drawn on with permanent marker.
296. You give directions to people using only “fore”, “aft”, “starboard”, and “port”
297. A beam is more than a wooden pole holding up your house.
298. A chine is not just the sound a bell makes, misspelled.
299. You’ve performed the Titanic scene on the bow of your boat, singing “You’re here….” sort of like Celine Dion.
300. You refer to your hiney as your “stern”
301. You have ever done crazy sailing maneuvers just to be filmed for the video.
302. You’ve been told to back up while sailing.
303. It’s funny when the Hobie pontoons are full of water and sinking.
304. You sing into the broom when you sweep the sail loft.
305. Winnie-the-Pooh’s blustery day is great news for you.
306. Sunfish-Master-only days mean great sailing.
307. Dr. Robert comes to help out at the sail loft and everybody gets him to look at their wounds.
308. “Flyer” is not a type of little red wagon.
309. “Beating” is not what happens when your favorite football team gets a smack-down.
310. You think bathrooms labeled “Buoys” and “Gulls” are funny.
311. You wake up from rest period early, just so you can get to the boats first.
312. You’ve ever tried to sail at 6am, when there is NO wind.
313. You have actually had a jellyfish stuck in your jellyfish pants, therefore questioning the whole theory behind them.
314. You've been knocked out a sunfish because of your favorite little camper's obsession with flying jibes.
315. You helped invent the baby pool swim/dive team
316. You've come back from an all day cruise looking like a lobster
317. The greatest thing to do on the last day of camp is take the head counselor out on a scot
318. You will NEVER forget the day the wind stopped and all the sunfish were tied together and everyone was playing in the Neuse
319. IT'S SEAFARER NOT LANDFARER- learn it, love it, live it
320. Not only do you understand this list, you think it’s funny.
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