"Tay honey... is everything okay?"
"Sure... why?"
"Are things okay between you and Biannca?"
"Yup... why?"
"Are you fighting with your brothers?"
"No" I said, starting to get annoyed with my mothers questioning. I turned to face her. "Why?" I asked.
"You haven't been yourself lately... you've been really quiet and you've locked yourself in your room a lot for the past few days... I just thought that you might have had an arguement with Biannca"
"Things are great between us Mom... I've just felt like being by myself lately..." I said. Which was partly true. I was lying about Biannca and myself. She was furious with Allison and with me for agreeing to help Allison. And I did want to be by myself. I had finally accepted the fact that I was going to be a father and there was nothing I could do about it. Allison and I had had a few more arguments over the phone about the abortion topic. I had been to talk with Allison and her mother. She blamed me completely but I think she liked the fact that I agreed with her about Allison getting a pregnancy termination. Allison had moved out and was living with her 21 year old cousin, Rebecca.
"Okay honey... you know you can talk to me or your father about anything if you want to" Mom said before walking out of the kitchen. So she could tell that I had been lying. She always could. I was going crazy over the guilt of keeping this secret from my family but there was no way I could tell them. I heard the shrill ring of the telephone but stayed where I was. I didn't want to talk to anyone, except for Biannca. After two rings, someone picked up. a few seconds later I heard
"TAY! IT'S YOURS!", Zac's voice rang out from down the hall.
"OKAY!" I shouted back, inwardly groaning. I picked up the phone in the kitchen. "Hello?"
"It's me"
"Oh, hey... how you been?" I asked her as I heard the click of Zac hanging up the other phone. Biannca sighed.
"Not so great... still trying to get used to the fact that Allison is carrying your child."
"That makes two of us"
"Yeah well... Tay, I really need to talk to you, but not over the phone... can you come over? Mom's gone out and Dad's at work" Biannca said. Her voice sounded part dessperate for me to say no and part dessperate for me to say yes. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what Biannca had to say. "...Tay? You there?" I heard her ask. I realised that I hadn't answered.
"Uh, yeah... yeah, I can come over" I said hoarsly.
"Okay... so I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah. bye"
"Bye Taylor" Biannca said and then hung up the phone. I wasn't looking forward to this, but I knew what was comming. It had to happen. There was no way Biannca was going to stay with me when Allison was pregnant. I placed the phone in its cradel and stood up.
"Mom, I'm going to Bianncas.... I wont be gone long." I called out. Not waiting for an answer, I picked up my car keys and closed the front door behind me. The drive to Bianncas seemed to take hours, but in all reality, I was lucky if it took fifteen mintues. Pulling up into her driveway, I shut off the engine and just sat in my car. When Biannca appeared at the front door, I got out. She met me half way to the door, already crying. "Bi... I'm going to save you the heartache of actually saying the words. I know it's over between us and I know why. I'm sorry about Allison, but I want you to know, it happened before you and I were together... I didn't cheat on you-" Biannca sushed me by placing her finger over my lips. She looked at me lovingly, tears falling down her cheeks.
"I know you didn't cheat on me Taylor.. you just wouldn't do that. But you're right. It is over between us. I can't be involved with someone who's going to be a parent. I'm sorry if that's selfish of me... but it's the truth. I've been nothing but honest with you and I'm not about to change that now. I love you Taylor, but I can't be with you knowing you're going to be a daddy. I... I just can't." Biannca paused, as if thinking of what to say next, or how to say it. "I could stay with you... but I can't... I don't want to share you with Allison or a baby.. and thats what I'll have to do... Allison is going to have this baby... meaning she'll be a part of your life for ever.. and I just don't like the thought of that. I'm so sorry Taylor... but I've given this a lot of thought, and this is the only solution I can come up with. So, goodbye Taylor.. it was great while it lasted." Biannca said. Before I could respond, she turned on her heel and fled back into her house, sobbing. I followed her and stood in the doorway for a few seconds, hoping that Biannca would come back. She didn't. I turned and walked back to my car, not planning on going home. I sat and wondered how this could have happened to me. I was supposed to be in the prime of my life. I was a successful musician, had a wonderful family and girlfriend, I was doing in life what I always wanted and now it was going to slip right out from under me. Because of one careless mistake of not using protection. I hadn't told anyone and the pressure was building up. I knew that I would completely lose it soon. I started the engine and peeled out of Bianncas driveway. I drove for hours. Just around town. I didnt want to go home or to see Allison. I wanted to be with Biannca. I was sitting in one of the many parks near home when I heard footsteps coming up behind me.
"Tay?". It was Isaac. I inwardly groaned and turned around. He was with Jenna, his fiancée and her little twin nephews.
"Hey"
"What are you doing here?" Isaac asked, sitting down beside me. I shrugged.
"Just wanted to be alone...."
"Honey, I'm gonna take Mike and James over to the playground" Jenna spoke up. Isaac nodded.
"Sure.". Jenna smiled at me and then took each boy by the hand and led them over to the playground. Isaac and I watched Jenna play with the boys in silence.
"How old are they now?" I asked.
"Five next month.. I still remember when they were born. Jen was so excited. She got all clucky and started talking about what our kids would be like... I can't even imagine having kids yet.." Isaac said, grinning and waving when Jenna waved over at us. I stayed quiet and picked at the grass. "Whats up Tay? You look like you've just seen your dog run over by a truck."
"I feel it... Ike... I've been really stupid.."
"So? You're always really stupid" Isaac attempted at insulting me but I ignored it.
"No, I mean majorly stupid... stupid as in totally fucking up my life"
"Who'd you kill?" Isaac asked, laughing.
"Ike! Stop it. I'm serious" I snapped. Isaac turned his head and gazed at me.
"What've you done?" He asked. "Don't tell me... Biannca's pregnant?". I shook my head. "Thankgod for that. Mom and Dad would kill you if youd've-"
"Allison is" I blurted out. There... I had told someone.. probably not the best person but it was someone all the same. I didn't look at Isaac. I knew his jaw was nearing the ground.
"Your ex-girlfriend Allison? The one you broke up with to be with Biannca?"
"Yeah" I said, sighing.
"Jesus! You idiot! When? Haven't you ever heard of a condom?" Isaac semi-exploded.
"Yes, Ike... it was our first time and we didnt have anything.... God Ike what am I gonna do? This could ruin my whole life, my career. I can't be a father! I'm to young to be a father! I'm so scared. Allison wont have an abortion and she wont give up the baby when it's born. She wants me to help her. I don't know what to do. I can't be some helpless little baby's Dad... I can't even look after myself yet, let alone a baby" I said. I brought my knees up and my head down and let go of the fustration, worry and anger inside of me. Isaac brought his arms around me as I cried. I couldn't remember the last time Isaac and I had actually "hugged" but right then, it was exactly what I needed. He sighed.
"You've outdone yourself this time Tay... does anyone else know? You gotta tell Mom and Dad". I pulled away from him.
"What? No way in hell am I telling Mom and Dad... Mom would lose it and Dad would murder me. You know he would. He's always telling us to use protection." I said. "No... no I can't tell them".
"Taylor, you have to. How long have you known about this?". I shrugged.
"I dunno... a few days I guess....".
"Hey guys... everything okay here?" Jenna asked, comming up from behind us. Isaac stood up and smiled.
"Sure. Everything's fine" He said, giving her a peck on the cheek. Jenna uncertainly smiled.
"Okay then... well.. the boy's want ice-cream so are you about ready to go?" She asked. I glanced up at Isaac as he looked down at me and then back at Jenna.
"You know what? Taylor and I have something to take care of,.. sooo.. why don't you go on ahead of me and I'll call your cell phone a little later and meet up with you somewhere?"
"Sure... okay. I'll see you later then." Jenna said. Her and Isaac exchanged goodbyes.
"Bye Tay"
"Seeya Jen" I said, turning around slightly I gave her a small grin and wave. Isaac and I watched as Jenna walked across the grassy field to where her car was parked.
"Come on Tay. We have to go tell Mom and Dad."
"Ike, I can't..."
"Yes you can. I'll back you up. You'll have me there for moral support."
"What'll I say to them?" I asked. This surprised me. I usually could talk to my parents about anything and say anything to them. I felt so lost not knowing how to tell my parents. I knew that my Mom was going to cry and that Dad was going to explode and rant and rave to me for a good couple of hours.
"Why don't you start with the truth?"
