Every year, there´s a festival held in the small town Hultsfred
in the south of Sweden. A rock-festival, and a pretty good one at that.
The biggest in Sweden.
However, if you´ve come here hoping to read about the performances
or the artists, you´ve come to the wrong place.
There will probably be lots of sites where you can read about that
though. The music, the food and the "I-met-Ozzy-Osbourne-backstage"
-experiences.
As for this one, it is supposed to be a somewhat down-to-earth entry,
dedicated to some of the people I met in Hultsfred.
My IRC-friends.

June 8th-9th ..Arrival

I was really looking forward to it. To get it all over with, take those
final exams, survive the last month, graduate and just leave.
And now, I had. I was actually sitting there in the train, feeling the
unreality of it all. For, as always, I couldn´t really get a grip on what
was happening.
When the moment you´ve been waiting for finally appears, it´ll pass
while you´re still adjusting from life in the future to life in
the present.
But although confused, I still had hope. For I was hoping for this to be
something extraordinary.
I wanted something unexpected, something that would make it
impossible for me to forget this trip.
I wanted, to quote somebody, a happening that would divide time in a
before and an after.

And as I was sitting there expecting great things, Ronnie arrived.
It felt great to see him. He´s one of my oldest and best IRC-friends
and it´s always a comfort to have him around.
I´ve kind of gotten used to it as well. Pretty often, we are the first to
appear and the last to leave on a gathering.
So his presence means a lot to me. Not only did I feel less confused,
but I started to realise that this was finally it, so to speak. The start
of, hopefully, another of those precious - of which there are only so
many - moments of life.

And, as good company tends to make a journey short, we arrived at
Hultsfred train-station pretty soon, Tom (our gentle host) and
Thomas (our gentle friend) meeting us there.
And it felt good to be back.
Hultsfred was still a very calm town. During the festival, the
population grows from the pretty modest 6000 inhabitants to
somewhere between 25- and 30000, but as we walked along, I at
least, could see no signs of that.
The renowned calm before the storm.

Tuesday June 9th started out early, as Peter took a night-train from
Östersund (far to the north compared to Hultsfred) and arrived at
9:30 a.m. to join us.
He looked annoyingly brisk compared to the rest of us, but this is a
man who has made a serious habit out of sleeping four hours a night
without getting tired. Not tired as it appears to the rest of us
anyway.
One of these days he´ll probably step forward, admitting his name
is actually Clark Kent...or is that Kal-El?

I myself was pretty tired by then, as I had graduated the Friday
before and not gotten a lot of sleep during the weekend. I even
managed to fall asleep that night while we were watching "From Dusk
Till Dawn".
Not something I usually do.

June 10th ..More Fuel to the Fire

This is the last day before the festival starts, and an endless row of
people is marching towards the camping lot.
I like watching them.
Odd clothes.
Funny haircuts.
Tattoos.
Piercings.
They come in small groups, one after the other.
Each carrying their own recorder. Each listening to their own music.
A very impressive kind of parade.
As for me, I get the feeling these guys are pretty tough.
The kind of people that would laugh and blow smoke in your face,
should you be bold enough to ask them what time it was.
The kind of people who probably get an entire row all for themselves
when they visit a cinema.
And, maybe I shouldn´t use the word "odd" here, to describe them,
but still, these are also the kind of people whose looks would hinder
them greatly in your average interview at the employer´s office, if
you ask me.
So "odd" will have to do.

This is also the day when we´ll see equality between genders at Tom´s
place, at least when it comes to quantity.
The people from Skåne (Scania...?), southernmost part of Sweden,
arrives today. Elin, Elisabeth and Beatrice.
They can, to say the least, be quite teasing at times, especially to Tom
and Ronnie, and as we walk to meet them, a "we-against-them"-feeling
is getting more and more tangible.

Coming to think about it, that feeling has always been tangible.
Evident.
Maybe that´s what comes out of an IRC-relationship, or maybe it´s
just them. I don´t know, but Ronnie, Peter, Tom - Elin, Beatrice,
Elisabeth...
I cannot for one second imagine them admitting they actually do care
for each other, or like each other, as if that would be "losing", or
"making a fool out of oneself".
Sure, they do like each other of course, but conversation is always
made through teasing. Sarcastically and ironically, as if that is the
only way they know.
Thus, they can talk for hours without actually saying something, the
whole procedure initiated so far back they don´t know how to end it.
Or maybe they don´t want to.

Me, I´m kind of stuck in the middle.
This whole thing is kind of funny at times, but when repeated day after
day, week after week, it´s starting to feel awkward.
It feels like friends could spend their time on better things than trying
to figure out new ways of getting on each others nerves.
Am I taking things too seriously?
Maybe.
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
Maybe.
But still... this is a friendship where the involved would sooner go out of
their way to tease someone, rather than to show their appreciation.

I tend to look at friendship and life in general as a good drama rather
than a comedy. It´s not really a hard choice. I laugh at the comedies,
but it´s the dramas that I remember.
A carefully-balanced blend of the two would probably be best, as
always.
But that´s not really what we have here.

...As I was saying, the "we-against-them"-thoughts had, once we
reached the bus-stop, become serious enough to stop us from walking to
meet our guests once we spotted them.

There they are!
...- Run to meet them?
Nope.
...- Rise?
Nope.
...- Wave?
Nope.
I said Nope, stop it! Hands down boy!
That´s better. Let them walk.
...- Yeah...look sharp...gentlemen...
because here they come.

And it was good to see them again. All of them. The thought of coming
eye to eye with Beatrice again had made me nervous for awhile, since
the last time I saw her, and came to like her.
But that wasn´t now. Now was bliss and happiness. We were all there,
together again.

June 11th ..Garbage Nights

As for the moment it´s evening, and I´m on a bench, resting my feet.
This is the first day of the festival, and Tom lives 30 minutes on foot
from the festival grounds.
Quite a walk, which, in addition to all the concert-jumping, will
probably make me dream of footmassage (call me the foot-fucking master)
tonight.
Is that you Eagle-Eye?
Lots of drunken people passing by.

kent just stopped playing, and Garbage is about to begin. Which means
that my comrades should be arriving before soon. Hopefully, they´re a
bit more sober as well. Elisabeth was ridiculously drunk when I saw her
last.
Hmm...but I guess I should´ve expected that.
They never are as innocent as they seem to be.
But alas, I better move out now. Garbage...


The Lights
are in front of her
and I stand behind
Through her hair
I see them
Filtered
I´m up close
can she feel my breath?
want to affect her
leave tracks
Hardly
So I breathe in
the wind
carrying her through me
Wonderful for awhile
But she looks ahead
unaware
The rain clings to her hair
and I run ahead
By my side
floating
two unknown faces
their tongues meet
I run ahead
thinking
Why them
...and not me?


June 12th .."The Curse gets Worse"

My feet are still paying for yesterday.
Painful, walking towards the festival area accompanied by Elin.
Got to hurry, almost overslept today. So I´m still a bit dizzy.
Not really the talkative guy.
That´s pretty easy with Elin though. Somehow, she always knows what
to say. I envy her at that. She´s a star in the art of casual
conversation.
I´m not.
Sometimes I think I´m only good at talking when it comes to those deep, close-and-personal things.
But I don´t dare to bring something like that up. Not with Elin.
Don´t know...she just doesn´t seem to be that kind of person.
She´s the kind that´s easy to get acquainted with, but hard to get to
know.
The kind of person with lots of pals and the person whom everyone
finds cute and nice, but also the person without any close friends, and
the person that no one really knows.
Frustrating at times, because I really like her.

The Party

Back from the festival again, we´re at Thomas´ place. The idea is, I
guess, to prepare for the coming festival night. Which would mean
getting drunk. Not really my idea of a party.
Elisabeth overdoing it again, hardly able to walk this time. Rolling
back and forth across the lawn, 3-4 guys virtually standing in line to
take pictures of her and carry her around.
I admit it, this is what I would have expected from some of the
persons I met. But not from her.
Wonder if she even remembers it.
And Tom, probably having forgotten his escapades of last night is in a
beer-drinking competition.
And as for the rest,
Sigh.
These are my friends and I like them, but I cannot for the world
understand why they do this.

Ego-trip

She is smiling
and laughing her little laugh
laughing
at his hands
on her knees
Pressing harder
making her laughter increase
Gently putting her legs in his lap
hands wandering
upward
from knees to thighs
And she
Looking at his hands
listening to his words
I´m there
but yet not
And
as his fingers curls
I flee
Until I close my eyes
and she appears again


I think This Perfect Day was about to enter the scene this evening.
Ooh...the Irony!
Not for me.
I left early that night.


June 13th-14th ..Laziness

Here is where I started getting ill. I guess the lack of sleep, my habit
of skipping meals and Tom´s furry companions (yes, I´m allergic) took
its toll.
Black Sabbath was on though. Couldn´t miss them out.
Afterwards, I walked the festival grounds a bit with Ronnie and
Elisabeth, desperately trying to find T-shirts (was that Smashing
Pumpkins?), but it started to get dark, and pretty cold as well.
The storm was withdrawing, the people were moving out..
Hultsfred was closing down, for this year.

I tried to slow down a bit.
Listening to Tom´s MP3s
L.A. Confidential
Trivial Pursuit
Master Mind
And of course..
Elin entertaining us
imitating Thomas (sorry :)
Though, this is the last night seeing us all together. Tomorrow,
Elisabeth, Beatrice and Elin leaves. Early. But it´s past midnight and
we´re all in Tom´s room not really doing anything.
Regular chatting from over-tired minds I guess. Really nothing special.
But I kind of enjoy this.
Right now and here.
That´s right, I´ve been to a big rock-festival, and I´m not talking
about bands or music, but this.
It´s something I´ll remember, just being there with my friends, feeling
comfortably tired.

June 15th ..Goodbyes

It´s morning. Early morning. We just saw them off. And dropped by a
gas-station on the way back.
I got the latest copy of X-Men. Used to read it a lot when I was
younger, but now it seems like I´ve lost track of the action.
Wolverine doesn´t look one bit like he used to.
I´m in my sleeping bag, reading.
Ronnie is sleeping a few metres away. I wouldn´t call it snoring, but
he´s definitely making some kind of noise.
Maybe I will as well before soon, when I´m done with this.
I feel like sleeping, but yet not. Always a sad thing, these farewells.
Makes me feel kind of empty. The party´s over.
I miss them.
And in 24 hours I´ll be going home myself.
Almost done now. Cyclops is at a cinema, about to reunite with his girlfriend...Phoenix?
I used to pretend I was in the X-Men as a kid. Name one boy who
wouldn´t long for adamantium claws in a certain stage of his life.
I never thought about their problems back then though, just their
powers.
All heroes. And all having deep emotional scars.
"As if you could only begin to comprehend just what I´ve been through."
Still having troubles believing that. Not only having super-powers,
but living in such a world.
Superheroes and supervillains. Good guys and bad guys.
You´d know just where to kick ass and where to fall in love.
Besides, they all look good.

Ronnie turns in his sleep, kicking off his quilt.
My eyelids are getting heavy now. So this´ll have to be it.
Sleep tight.
Oh yeah,
They got each other in the end.





...


The End...?

May I send out some thank-you:s?

Great.


To Daniele (I´m sorry about the spelling if I´m wrong), thank you ever
so much for caring about us the way you did and going out of
your way to see to it that we were enjoying ourselves and had a
nice time. I´ll try not to ask for permission before using the
microwave-oven next year..;)

And Amira... I came to Hultsfred seeing you as an acquaintance,
and I left seeing you as my Friend. When things weren´t what I
had expected them to be, or more than I could handle, you were
always there to talk to me, something serious in all the irony,
sharing my feelings and being able to understand.
I would´ve included you above, as you are a significant part of
my experience of Hultsfred, but it´s a completely different thread
from all the other ones, so I do it here. Thanks.

I think this page tends to look weird unless you´re using Netscape
and a 800x600 resolution. I´ll fix that as soon as I know how.

Regular Ranting

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