~ Are You Headed For Disaster? ~

Many women marry the man of their dreams, only to find that he's a living nightmare with a violent temper and an abusive streak.

When starting a new relationship, don't be so starry-eyed that you fail to recognize the obvious traits of an abusive personality. Remember that you don't have to become black and blue to be abused. If you answered "yes" to the majority of the questions below, turn to a counselor for help before the relationship turns on your.

Questions

The quiz below is not graded, it is designed solely for the purpose of reference for you, it is not intended to replace the services of a qualified professional. If you find it necessary to do so, please seek assistance from a qualified professional.

1. He has a family history of abuse - was physically or psylogically abused as a child, or his mother was battered by his father.
   Yes
   No
   
   
2. He has a violent streak or temper that's out of proportion to the incident in question.
   Yes
   No
   
   
3. He is basically contemptous of women.
   Yes
   No
   
   
4. He has a fetish for guns and other weapons, and claims he keeps them around to protect himself from others.
   Yes
   No
   
   
5. He uses drugs.
   Yes
   No
   
   
6. He commits acts of violence against objects and things rather than people.
   Yes
   No
   
   
7. He drinks excessively.
   Yes
   No
   
   
8. He displays unusual jealousy and possessivness when you are not with him.
   Yes
   No
   
   
9. He questions you about time spent away from him.
   Yes
   No
   
   
10. He becomes enraged when you don't listen to his advice.
    Yes
    No
    
    
11. He has a dual personality. One minute he's cruel and critical; the next minute he's kind and loving.
    Yes
    No
    
    
12. His emotions are in overdrive. When he's angry, he's a madman who's consumed by rage. When he's in a loving mood, he lavishes you with candy, flowers and gifts.
    Yes
    No
    
    
13. His anger so frightens you that you try hard not to make him angry.
    Yes
    No
    
    
14. He considers himself a macho man.
    Yes
    No
    
    
15. You sense that you are being treated abusevely.
    Yes
    No
    
    
16. He's not above pushing, shaking or shoving you around when he's angry.
    Yes
    No
    
    
17. He's rough during lovemaking, or has phsically forced himself on you when you weren't really in the mood.
    Yes
    No
    
    
18. He's extremely critical of you.
    Yes
    No
    
    
19. He demands to know where you are at every waking moment.
    Yes
    No
    
    
20. He's had a string of unsuccessful relationships or marriages.
    Yes
    No
    
    
21. He has very low self esteem.
    Yes
    No
    
    
22. He believes all the myths about battering.
    Yes
    No
    
    
23. He holds traditional family values and feels that women are the weaker sex.
    Yes
    No
    
    
24. He believes in male supremacy and the stereotypical masculine sex role in the family.
    Yes
    No
    
    
25. He is bisexual.
    Yes
    No
    
    
26. He doesn't believe his violent behavior should have negative consequences.
    Yes
    No
    
    
27. He hs an unusual relationship with his mother, which borders on love/hate.
    Yes
    No
    
    
28. Most people think he's a real charmer.
    Yes
    No
    
    
29. He tries to control your life - what you do, whom you see and what you think.
    Yes
    No
    
    
30. He frequently uses violent language and calls you obscene names.
    Yes
    No
    
    

If you answered yes to five or more of the above questions, you may be in over your head - a victim or soon-to-be victim of battering. While these tendencies are certainly not definite signs that a man is a batterer, they indicate that he has the potential to become one. Don't take chances with your life and health. Get help now and avoid getting caught in the vicious cycle of abuse.


I don't claim to be the author of this article and I did not find this article on line but I received this article amongst many others I received from our local battered women's shelter. W.I.N (Women In Need) House. I could not find authorship for it but if this is your article, please contact me and I will give you credit for it or remove it promptly if you so wish. Thank you.

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