As Realization Of Death Takes Place

Following feelings of numbness and disbelief, you will begin gradually to realize or actualize that the loss is real and permanent. During these early days of bereavement, you will have a great need to "hold on" to the deceased. This "holding on" includes:

dwelling on memories connected with the deceased - reliving those last few hours or even the last few days of the deceased's life, and recalling bits of conversation shared with your loved one during those hours together.

Shortly after the death of your loved one you may realize that while other relatives and friends have returned to their old routines, your whole world seems to have fallen apart. Some people have described this feeling as one of great "emptiness" while others have stated, "It's as though a part of my body is gone."

You may find that you are so preoccupied with thoughts of your deceased one that you are having difficulty in concentrating and remembering. Making the simplest of decisions may be overwhelming to you at this time.

Many tasks will be done automatically. There is often an inability to maintain an interest in those other relationships and activities which formerly provided pleasure.

Without being aware of doing so, you may be internalizing and incorporating the significant and unique values, mannerisms, and behaviour patterns of the deceased into your own behaviour. In identifying with the deceased, you may even be thinking that you yourself now have some of the same symptoms which your loved one had.

Since emotions affect your physical functions, it is reasonable to expect some physical disturbances such as insomnia, loss of appetite, muscle tenseness, or other minor disturbances.

In addition to your feelings of despair and loneliness, you may feel that you no longer have control over your own emotions. Painful as the above are, they are all a part of the normal grieving process. However, there is usually also an intensifying of faith which gives you sufficient inner strength to carry you through this difficult period.

>

SENSORY PERCEPTION OF THE DECEASED

Vivid dreams involving the deceased are common occurrences in the early phases of the grieving process. You may also experience the feeling at various times that you are hearing or seeing the deceased - yet at the same time you realize that this is not actually so. These experiences can be very frightening and may cause you to ponder as to whether you are losing your mind. Be assured that these are normal occurrences and will diminish with time.

next page
return to index