Welcome To St. Elsewhere
Page One
By SilverMoon
This story, Welcome to St. Elsewhere,
was writen by myself. I wrote it after
an episode of heart trouble I had at the
begining of 1999.
I was just sitting there and I said to
myself that in fact I look so good for a
46 years old woman. Most women my age
have just started to let go of
themselves and they look like they just
made it back from the combat zone, if
you think of it, as housewives we have
all done just that, as wives and mothers
we are doctors, referees, nurses,
psychiatrists, councillors, ministers of
economy in our households, etc., but for
some reason, I thought, my looks haven't
quite disappear yet. I still have a flat
stomach and a lean and trim figure and
my face is wrinkle free, in general, I
don't know how I have kept my looks this
far. As I finished smiling to myself, I
hear this whoooosh noise in my ears and
the sensation of a noise in my head as
if I have an engine inside of it, and
little by little I start to see things
flying by me, I'm thinking that I cannot
catch the world in my hands and soon
enough I know no more of reality, I'm
now in Amorpheous' arms in quiet sleep.
I wake up to the sound of my panicked
son's voice saying to me,
"mom, mom, are you okay? are you with it
mom?"
" yes, I am but I can't breath! give me
oxygen" I reply.
John is saying to the ambulance
attendants that yes, in fact I'm not
eating and no, my mom is not suicidal,
it's just that ever since she's been
widow, she got herself run down, but no, mom is not suicidal, mom is grief stricken, but she's a fighter, don't you see it in her eyes? These people waste no time, catheter needle in my
arm, oxygen in place in my nose and
without much ceremony they grab me and
put me on the stretcher and take me down
to the ambulance and then across the
street to the hospital, St. Mary's
hospital, but to me it has always been
St. Elsewhere, yes, just like the
television show's title. I don't have a
clue as to why I find myself thinking
that it is a lucky thing that we live in
such a big penthouse suite, not
housewife friendly at all, but I always
thought that if someone were to invent a
jetson's house, just like in the
animated cartoon, you know, the family
of earthlings that lived in outer space,
it will be so much better, why, it takes
for ever just to vacuum the floors! I
thought, what a thing to think about
when you are in an ambulance, but you
know, fear is a strange thing, it does a
lot of things to people, fear is like a
hunter, it watches you and then attacks,
well, it's just across the street, I'm
very close to the E.R. As we get there
the word hospital evokes in your mind
many images, twisted images of running
doctors and nurses, children crying, the
sterile smell of desinfectant mixed with
fear and death, and overall scary enough
when you are a patient, it's as if your
will it's not your own any more, they
make you leave it at the door when you
cross the threshold of this place. I see
in my mind's eye a sign that reads,
welcome to the house of horror, the show
will commence shortly, please be silent!
just as if they did hang at the door a
neon sign from Broadway and they were
advertising for a new theater show, the
sign flashes steady, non stop, as if
inviting you to experience pain and
death, oh mine, but my mind is all numb!
Now I'm placed in this cubicle and this
nurse, who looks overworked and short of
patience, comes in, I say, Goddess,
please send my way a good dose of
unconditional love, I need some and
soon! She has all these questions that
would make a kindergarten kid scream!
she's asking why I'm here! well, I say,
don't you see? I've nothing to do right
now, I'm just trying to pass the time! I
think just now of how I love a good game
of one upmanship! you see nurse, I
passed all the levels in this nintendo
game, well you know, the one with the
little guy from europe, you know! the
one that is ethnically challenged! oh
yeah, Mario Brothers, so, I decided to
come and spend the day, I really needed
to play another game the one they call
you piss me off and I'll grab the first
thing at hand and throw it your way as a
reward for your stupidity, she looks
uncomprehending, I look around this
cubicle for something, anything to make
contact with the desired target, that
kidney basin looks so tempting! oh but
don't worry, this is the result of red
hair and mediterranean blood, and that
is the reason for my passion at times
like these, but maybe not, they'll for
sure bring that straight jacket and
saddle me with it. I don't really like
to put up with nonsense, specially from
people that are in charge of my life, so
I'll comply and be good, oh Goddess,
give me patience, I'm pretty sure that
when you said brains they thought you
meant trains and they took the train
that was serving stupid sandwiches and a
bowl of idiotic soup for lunch, and all
for free! and now I have to put up with
it, a transgression of evolution!
neanderthals! yes, the evolution chain
was missing a link and didn't quite make
it to the health care professionals!
Now enter the doctor, oh no!! please!!
another neanderthal, I see him and
wonder what he ate for lunch, he looks
just as stiff as the shirt he's wearing.
Hello doctor, and all the while I'm
thinking, hi there neanderthal, what can
I do for you today? how can I help you
evolve? He has this puzzled look on his
face, and he looks like he's ethnically
challenged as well. yes let's be
politically correct here!
Continued on the next pages...
