ˇCommon Sense˘ Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved
old friend by the name of ˇCommon Sense˘,
who had been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated
such valued lessons as knowing when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm and that life isn˘t always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don˘t spend more than
you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge). His health
began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned by overbearing regulations
were set in place.
Reports of a six year old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired
for reprimanding an unruly student; but could
not inform the parents when a student became
pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as
the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after
a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup
of coffee was hot, she spilled it in her lap and
was awarded a huge settlement. Thank goodness
she didn˘t have a weight problem, because
you just know that ˇall beef˘ hamburgers can˘t
be good for you!
Common Sense was preceded in death by his
parents, Absolute Truth and In God We Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you remember him,
pass this on.
 
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