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New Year Resolutions Humor
A New Years Resolutions
Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all
day in my nightdress.
Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
I will no longer waste my time relieving the past,
instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for
taking leaves.
I will think of some more excuses.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and
conserve more water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up
drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%.
Completely. Honestly.... Well for an hour ok
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine
e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages
and be on the phone at the same time with the same
person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet.
This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm
not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can
find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won't worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people's feelings
when they so obviously don't consider mine - if
that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll
tell him he stinks!
I will be more imaginative.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love
them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes
just to get her phone number.
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Happy New Year
Spike Jones
