This is an almost comprehensive guide of Mansun videos and tv performances including mad rantings and comments by yours truely:) Here we go with the Vids...

Videos

Egg Shaped Fred

The one where the band (minus Andie, plus Hib) are doing a gig and it also cuts between them sitting on a sofa and playing around with big balloons that resemble Rover (proving that the whole Prisoner influence isn't a recent thing). The best bits include Chad's green shirt (we can forgive, can't we?), Stove miming the La la la bits and Paul's incredibly accurate impersonation of Liam Gallagher. Not one of the best videos.

Take It Easy, Chicken

I love this one, God knows why, but I think it's great. To set the scene: it's one huge room only lit with red lights with the band (minus Andie, plus Julian I think) playing. Paul tries his best to be a genu-ine rocker and actually succeeds. He starts off wearing a big fleece and then takes it off to reveal, dun dun dun, a ripped tshirt which is very very nice:) His miming is executed like a wild animal and the red lights look so good. Brilliant performance.

Stripper Vicar

Filmed in Wales, I think, it is basically the band (minus Andie, plus Julian) playing (the miming is so unenthusiastic it's funny) with the camera revoloving around them in a circle. Also includes individual shots of them going around in circles and every now and again cuts to a person stripping (who would have thought it, eh). I would like to add that Stove is topless most of the time. We also see the pink frilly shirt without the safety pins, it is an XXXL. The pins were probably a tailoring job, rather than a fashion statement, but it worked. Best bit: Stove sticking his tongue out at the end;)

Wide Open Space

Half is the band playing in a circle, half is the journey of a vampire bloke thru London. The band (all of them) look great: Stove with a TB injection scar (yes, I noticed) and mic, Andie with blonde locks, Paul with the *hideous* jacket that looks like a bin liner, Chad avec the pink frills and big blonde hair. The vampire goes around being all paranoid, plays footie by himself, attacks this girl but no-one can see him coz he's an invisable vampire and then floats away with the sunlight. Overall: it's a good video coz it's got a story all the way thru but it doesn't distract you from the song, if anything it adds to it.

Wide Open Space (US version)

The bastards get a funnier version than us:P The everlasting image will be Stove standing in a toilet, actually in the toilet bowl. Why? Paul was unfortunate enough to have to spend half the shoot in a bath full of cold water singing away. The other half of the time he was with the rest of the band performing with lightning going on in the background. Less eventful than the original version but far more surreal. The band look thoroughly bored.

She Makes My Nose Bleed

This is another classic. Arty camera angles, black and white and lovely goatee. This is one of the few (I think only this one and TIEC) where Paul actually tries and it pays off. The whole band look fantastic and gorgeous. Only one mistake...who chose the beret? And who gave it to Stove? Anyway, the whole business with the alien-girl is insignificant coz the band look *that* great. If you had to fall in love with Paul at any point that would be it.

Taxlo$$

Everyone knows about this one, and sadly it's one where the band don't appear. Throwing wads of fivers onto the concourse at...yeah yeah yeah, we've heard it a million times. Great idea, but it shouldn't be the bands crowning glory.

Closed For Business

The beginning says it all, "Tell us about your prized sheep". Yes, well, the video wouldn't be complete without the alien girl. Apart from that, the band. Wow, Stove topless again, and Paul and Chad with new haircuts looking amazing gorgeous. And lets not forget Andie...what's the fascination with the ceiling again? Performance in a barn type thing semi-enthusiastic, and includes sneeky appearance from Lily Savage/Barbara Windsor. I like this one.

Legacy

First in a series of videos where the band just couldn't be arsed. Paul says that they just wanted them to be like little films where the directors were free to do whatever they wanted. Legacy is the Toy Story of Mansun videos. A band of dolls (obviously manufactured, hur hur) go from rehersing in a garage to stardom to break up, climaxing with a fight and wreckage of a hotel room. Very good video (and I feel that Les Rhythmes Digitales took a little inspiration from it with their video "Sometimes", well, they did have the same director) but you didn't really think of the song as you watched it...and it was a minor disappointment because after waiting so long for new material I at least expected a performance vid.

Being A Girl

As descibed by the Melody Maker: "Group of young men in the gym. Plenty of lingering shots of bodies, esp. during shower room scene. At one point, in the boxing ring, a boy with mascara thumps another boy, but ends with the rest attempting to remove his shorts.". Well, what else can you say, homoerotic to the core. But wouldn't it have been better to get the Mansun lads being the blokes, therefore one of them having his shorts removed?? I wonder:)

Negative

Pisstake of old black and white movies where, during mildly erotic scenes, one of the participants *had* to keep one foot on the floor. It involves a couple on a bed, and what seems to be a spy entering, taking pictures and evidence without them noticing but then blowing his cover but shutting the door a little loudly when he leaves. And doesn't the woman look like Princess Diana? It's a good video, much better put together than most performance ones, but I'm sorry, I prefer it when the band's in them.

Six (remix)

Oh, yes, at last, the band make an appearance. And what an appearance. "In an age that is utterly corrupt the best policy is to do as others do". What a start, usually cut by Mtv and The Box:( It's a rip off of a Buzzcocks video, not a Gap advert, and "Heroes" by Bowie. It's got funny bits all the way thru: Chad's shiny shoes, his weird kicks in time with the cymbals, Paul's one-legged dancing, Stove's cute little grin to the camera, the light shining out of Paul's arse (almost literally)...sigh, this is what music videos are about.

I Can Only Disappoint U

Well, lets see, i saw about half of it but it was enough to tell that this is one of their best videos:) It's them playing live (well, it looks like it, they're such good actors;P) in a darkish room with swaying red and white lights, very dramatic and stadium-esque. Stove's using his AOTGL bass and wearing the black sleeveless, Paul's singing dramatically but unfortunatly not into the mic, Chad's doing the usual video dance routine (shaking the head from side to side miming the backing vox), and Mr Rathbone is very sexy indeed. Paul tries to act by looking ashamed, shaking his head and then head in hands, and it's quite good actually, better than anything Britney could do. Just the whole darkness with the flashes of lights (of *lights*, not them flashing, duh) is too amazing. They all look gooorrrrgeeouuussss, Stove is back on form. Bliss. they are going to be huge...

Legacy-Top Of The Pops (TOTP)

How **gorgeous** does Paul look in this!! Very. Lovely performance from him but the others could look vaguely interested..they probably would've done if they had known that this would be their highest chart position for a single off Six. But one small problem that isn't theirs: Zoe Ball you sacry cow! Listen to the "that's mansun there, that's great" at the end in the smarmiest, "i've been told to say this when I don't like it at all"-est voice. Grrrr, how dare she! What would she know about great music for god's sake, she married to someone who can just about play a record and smoke a fag at the same time. I am angry, very angry.

Taxlo$$-TFI Friday

This would have been a true rawk show, if it wasn't for those pesky backing singers. D'oh! What were they thinking of having *those* backing singers. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had been able to sing but they couldn’t even do that. But apart from that it was ace. They all went for it big time with the instrumental interlude being much faster and energetic than before. And has anyone noticed that weird thing that Paul does with his eyes, it looks like they’re gonna pop out or something, like in cartoons.

Being A Girl-TOTP

Another gorgeous performance from Paul, both in attractiveness and energy. And Chad doing the piano thing:) Hands up who laughed, in a nice way. *Luna raises hand*. The end is cool when they still the image and then show it full speed and he's smiling. Cute. And could they have given Andie a smaller space, every time he bangs the drums he bashes his elbows against the back wall! Tut tut tut. Minus one point for TOTP.

Negative-TFI

This is *the* performance to show your mates. Everything is perfect, from the ickle bit at the start of TFI when they're sitting on the stage to right at the end when Paul claps himself and Stove does the little giggle and shrug. And inbetween that? Everything happens. Andie goes absolutly INSANE, the bass is up really loud, the guitar shreek is loud (as it should be), Paul's singing is spot on and I lurve the bit 'someone nudged me in the street' when he goes 'bah bah bah' with the drums, *sigh*. And the arse shots, my oh my, could this be better. They also look gorgeous, you know, just to top it off; the ginger version of Paul and the furry version of Chad with matching mic. Wait there while I go and watch it again.

Wide Open Space and Mansun's Only Love Song-Later with Jooles Holland

Let's follow the best performance ever by one of the worst. This is as dull as you can be actually, musically sound but just no energy, they do look knackered tho. The slowest version of MOLS live ever. Andie's the best here I think, the only one making an effort. Not much else to say really except that for ages I thought that Stove was wearing slippers, but he's not. Mad I know. And I also ask myself everytime I watch it "Is Paul's guitar even on?" and "I wonder what they did with the backdrop, coz I want it".

Closed For Business-TOTP

They really blew the budget this time, I mean, violin players! And one of them looks like Andie, spook. The lights were a little too bright, the audience must have been seeing little black dots for days afterwards. More extravagance: a harpsichord (well, it's a piano isn't it, that'll do), but I really do think that Paul should've played it and done an impression of Elton John.

She Makes My Nose Bleed and Wide Open Space-Hanging Out Mtv

This is funny, the presenters are such arses and there's this one bit when they're standing infront of them talking bollocks and suddenly you see Paul's head over the guy's shoulder and it looks like a growth. And then Stove goes to scratch his nose and makes the guesture really big! It's so weird. It's a good performance and Paul tries to make it work by clambering onto the drum raiser. Not quite the same effect as at a really gig, but it's the thought that counts after all.

Being A Girl and Negative- UP For It Mtv

These two are ace right from the proverbial 'word go'.Paul's got a really scratchy voice which works so well and he looks pissed off to start with too. And Andie goes for it drumming and singing a la Madonna. The middle bit is so ice-cream van-esque, I love it I love it (as Lolly would say). *Phwoar* when Drapski stares at the camera and then swings his hips from side to side and then shags the mic. Negative=bass!!!! And those clever people at Mtv made it black and white, geddit, negative, hur hur. Maybe not. Look into Paul's eyes, thoroughly pissed off about something (probably because Eddie Temple-Morris called him Mike, a big No-no peeps). Look at the hips go! It was nice of the technicians to make the mic go fuzzy during the 'someone poked me in the eye' bit. Yes, this is good.

Six-TFI

Another show to use as an example of Mansun's brilliance. The little dance courtesy of the backing singers (the same as before) is so lame, but that can be considered a good thing: more to laugh at them about. I can just imagine the conversation 5 minutes before going onstage " what are we going to do, click?" ,"nah, what we need is a dance". Whatever. Why couldn't they have just gotten Chad to do it? (the singing, not the dancing, oops) This is the bobble hat one which suits him, but whatever he says as an excuse isn't going to change what I think really happened. Look at the TOTP one, hellao, his hair is the same colour as the light and therefore white. It's a bleach job gone horribly wrong. Has anyone noticed the weirdest look Stove gives the camera, he looks like some sort of gremlin, what the hell is he doing?

Wide Open Space and Stripper Vicar-Glasto 98 BBC2

This is Stove's turn to shine and be the centre of attention; the gorgeousness is just too much this time and these two performances are responsible for the Summer of Stove for me. But Chad has to take alot of credit coz the guitar in WOS was amazing. The rainbow was cheesy but a nice touch, thanks mother nature. The triangle-fringe, yay! Stripper Vicar was the television debut of Chad's teeth, and gorgeous they are too (umm....). More lovely long shots of Stove and the instrumental bit in the middle showed Paul doing the chicken; look out for him behind Stove and watch his neck! So funny. And also notice Chad before the 'and we know his our vicar' bit when he changes peddles and mouths 'Shwing!'. Seriously, it's so good. They don't show Andie nearly enough is the one downside.

Taxloss-TOTP

Another show where Stove looks gorgeous, men in uniform, yum. Whose bright (pun pun)idea was it to put a light behind Chad? Own up, it made his hair look fecking flourescent (however it's spelt). And we can all notice how Paul hadn't quite got hold of the whole miming lark. It's still cool. Is this the one presented by Gary Glitter or Peter Andre? I can't quite remember which I suppose could be considered a good thing.

I Can Only Disappoint U-CD:UK

Rah rah rah! First appearance in ages, mate, and even though it's an incredible display of miming, it works, you get the song. Andie looking STUNNING, when they do show him, Chad cool in his shades which seem to be stuck to his face, Paul in sprayon jeans (imagine Draper jumping hopelessly trying to squeeze himself into them, it's almost like Homer, in the cutest sense possible), Stove just being Stove. They look like a *real* rock band now, in the commercial sense of things obviously, dressed in black and leathers (+shades). It was a fine performance, all it needs now is a dance routine:) In the words of Ant "absolutly fantastic". Damn sure.

I Can Only Disappoint U-TOTP

The performance was good, nothing particularly exciting, but was exciting was the sight of Paul squeezed into those trousers with the rather suspect…how shall I phrase this…lump. And I don’t think it was something in the pocket either, something for the ladies. Another thing about Draper: the hair. My God, it’s the new look and it’s bad. Please let it grow, fast. I’m sure Chad’s glued those sunglasses on to his head coz I remember when Andie tried wearing sunnies on TOTP they fell off pretty quickly. Stove in darkness! They could at least have light on him if they’re not going to show him in individual shots. There was one though, where he was smiling and it was *so* cute;)