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The Basics
I am a 25 year old Houston resident. Houston may not be much but it's home. I work full time.
What I Like
I love music and to sing. Mostly I sing showtunes, go figure. I study the craft and magic but only as a hobby. I'm not pagen. .. I don't even know if I spelled it correctly. I love to hang out and talk with friends.
Comming Out
I've been out to my parents sinse I was a teenager and they are very understandig and supportive. My mom even started looking for guys to set me up with a few times. I'm lucky that I have them.
My Story
I knew I was gay when I was 12 but it took me a while to accept the fact that I couldn't change myself. I thought that if I prayed hard enough and wanted it bad enough I could make myself straight. I thought that if I sang the Our Father every time I had an "evil thought" that I would eventually stop thinking about boys all together.... I was singing all through junior hight p.e. And of course I couldn't hide the fact of my homosexuality from other kids so I had many many people picking on me and threatening me. Junior high was not a fun time in my life. I had little to no self-esteem and I had some major problems with depression. I never went as far as to try to commit suicide because I knew my mom wouldn't be able to live with herself if I did. I was never really comfortable talking to her about my problems but she could usually make me feel better just by being my mom. I would come home after school and sit with her or help her cook dinner. I don't think she will ever know how much she helped me in those times by just being there.
When I got to high school the harrasment had stopped but I still had the depression. That's when I met Amanda. We made an interesting friendship. We still do. I act more fem than she does most of the time. And she is the one who can fight. We have been through a lot together. Heartbrakes, depression, fights both with each other and with other friends, and many other things which nobody else will ever know about.... Right Man? Amanda and I may drive each other a little crazy sometimes.... ok... maybe a lot crazy sometimes but I'm glad to know that she is one friend I will always have. Thanks for being my best friend Amanda, Love ya.
When I started college I met a guy I became friends with very quickly. Unfortunately he was straight. Now I don't have anything against straight people, but I have had to learn the hard way that it is very difficult for a gay guy to be best friends with a straight guy. We got along very well but my feelings for him didn't stop at friendship. I quickly started to have feelings for him that he could never return. I know almost everyone has gone through a situation like this if you are gay, straight, male or female. I have a little more practice than I would like though. That's when I wrote "My Secret" listed in my writings section.
One Last Thought
I'm happpy to say that I am now depression free. I still get depressed sometimes like most people do but that is quite a bit different from Depression. I work full time for my fathers company. I still have a lot to accomplish in life but I'm relitively happy.
If anyone has a question or comment about me, my life, or about homosexuality then email me at txrainbow@ev1.net If anyone has a problem with their sexuallity or just needs someone to talk to about being gay then email me and I will email you back. If you don't talk to me then talk to someone you can trust. You could be supprised where you will find support. Your not the only one... others are out there.
