The Roads We Take

-- this story first appeared in Crimson Feet, February 2005 --

The name of the village is unimportant. The villagers were shocked when Xavier's great grandfather converted to Christianity. After three generations, there were only three Christian families in that village. Xavier was brought up by a distant kin in the city. The name of the city too is unimportant.

Xavier studied in a Christian school. He always excelled in studies. His parents boasted in the village that Xavier's intelligence was a result of Christian virtue. Xavier also studied in a Christian college. He wrote poetry and loved literature and therefore enrolled for M.A. (English). He believed that there was no literature greater than the Bible. Milton's Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained came a poor second. Shakespeare was nowhere in his list of classics. He told his friends that he was working on the biography of his illustrious great grandfather, but for whom he would not have known the greatness of the Christian faith.

Xavier was an iconoclast. He made quite a few enemies thanks to his diatribe against idolatry. He would read out Psalm 115 to his detractors. Here is his most favourite passage: "Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands. They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not." Lali, a student of philosophy, once told him to read the Kenopanishad as she felt that some of its verses would be a fitting counter to the psalm: "That which speech cannot reveal, but what reveals speech, know that alone as Brahman and not this that people here worship. That which cannot be comprehended by the mind but by which the mind is cognized, know that alone to be Brahman, and not this that people worship here." He did read it, wasn't convinced and said Psalm 115 was in fact a counter to the Kenopanishad.

Xavier would tell Lali that God was absolutely good. Though Lali tried to tell him about yin and yang, she could never reason with him.

A surprise was in store for both Xavier and Lali. They fell in love with each other. Lali was very charming. Though Xavier cared not for her views, he fell for her looks. Lali, on the other hand, was carried away by the lyric charm of his poems. Their friends too were surprised. Some wondered how Lali could brook such a fanatic as Xavier; and some, how Xavier could put up with a Hindu friend.

Xavier presented Lali an attractive edition of the New Testament. He was convinced that Lali could be persuaded to give up her faith. Lali too gave him a gift -- The Song Celestial, Sir Edwin Arnold's verse translation of the Bhagavad Gita. She saw him wince, but she told him that the translation had literary merits. Though he accepted the gift, he never bothered to read it.

The years in college came to a close. There was no sign of change in Lali's religious views. Xavier had a tough choice before him. It was either Lali or his faith. Though Lali told him that she was willing to marry him, she also said that it would be impossible to give up her faith. So Xavier thought and thought and finally decided that he would remain a bachelor.

Xavier got a job in a missionary organisation. He started writing pamphlets against all the heathen faiths. But he could not hold on to the job for long. Because his belief on the absolute goodness of God was shaken by the very book he revered. He was reading for the first time the Book Of Isaiah. He could not believe his eyes. There was this verse (chapter 45:7) staring him in the face: "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace and create evil: I the Lord do all these things."

It took him over a week to come to terms with this discovery. All that Lali told him about the immanent and transcendent nature of divinity came to mind. But it was Lali's charming face that helped him to arrive at a decision. He gave up the faith that his great grandfather converted into. So the missionary organisation politely showed him the door.

Xavier was now a happy youth. He reinherited the faith of his forefathers. And more importantly, he would soon be wedded to that charming lass Lali. He picked up The Song Celestial and began to read. He read it once, twice and read it again and again. He was raring to meet Lali.

No one knows whether it was fate or chance that brought them together at the college alumni meeting later that year. Xavier little knew that circumstances had wrought a change on Lali too. Yes: Lali had become a Christian. She too had given up her faith overnight. She had seen a missionary heal a leper. And that was enough to convert her. Lali was convinced that religion was a matter of faith and hence was beyond the purview of logic. She cursed herself for not having accepted Christ when Xavier told her about Him. She longed to see Xavier and tell him of her conversion.

They met and parted. Lali just could not believe her ears when he told her of his conversion. Her eyes were full of pity for him. She blamed herself for having given him a copy of The Song Celestial. On the other side, Xavier was puzzled. Though he was now willing to marry her, he knew for sure that Lali would never consent to marry him. And he wouldn't marry anyone else!

After much introversion Xavier joined an ashram. And some months later Lali joined a nunnery.