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The new Emma Peel reveals that The Avengers isn't exactly Shakespeare...

 

How do you feel about The Avengers?

It's high camp and very close to the spirit of the series. I get to do Emma Peel's famous high kicks and karate chops and I get chased around a lot. My only regret was I didn't have that much chance to work intensely with Ralph Fiennes. He's a brilliant actor and it would have been interesting to develop our characters. But The Avengers isn't about dense dialogue and complex motivations; it's more about romping around with an attitude. It's great fluff and I get to wear a really sleazy version of the original catsuit.

Isn't there something odd about playing Emma Peel, a 60's pin-up, when you've complained so often about avoiding sexual kinds of roles?

I suppose so, and that's part of my contrary nature. Often I look for things in life that don't suit me.

But you already played a vampish Poison Ivy in Batman. Only this time you wear a leather catsuit...

I know, I know, but I don't think Emma Peel was overtly sexual - it was more about creating a powerful female character who wound up rescuing John Steed, instead of it being the other way around. I tried to give her a sense of playful menace, which is what I think most men found interesting about Diana Rigg. I envy that kind of charisma in women, because I don't have any sexual menace in my own nature. I still feel geeky when it comes to being flirtatious. It's something I could never do- I'm much too self-conscious.

Did you enjoy workIng with Ralph Fiennes?

We had a good time but we realised almost from the first day on set that we wouldn't be achieving much on an artistic level with our performances. The film is too campy and we don't test any serious emotional chords or depths. We were both disappointed at first that there wouldn't be more of a challenge.

It sounds as If you would have preferred to do an English Patient kind of film with him. Are you disappointed with the way your career has evolved?

I probably could have done more in terms of choosing better films, but I have this perverse nature about trying to challenge myself by taking parts which no-one would expect me to choose and see how I measure up.

You've spoken in the past about hating your early sex-symbol image.

Yes. I couldn't stand the idea of becoming the inflatable sex doll everyone wanted me to be. I was very naive sexually when I made Dangerous Liaisons and it felt extremely paralysing to be thrust into this overtly sexual image which had nothing to do with who I was.

Did your marriage to Gary Oldman make things even worse?

Probably. Everything was a mess during those years.

How has your rapport with men changed since marrying Ethan Hawke?

I've made a quantum leap. (Laughs) It all revolves around not wanting to play games with men and regard them as the other, as a strange foe. I had constantly searched for men to fall in love with as well as admire, and I kept getting disappointed. After a while, I almost gave up and spent long, long periods without having a boyfriend or lover or whatever.

What made you stop playing games?

I don't know exactly what triggered the change in my attitude, but two years ago things became clearer to me. I've spent a lifetime questioning who I am and what I want to do with myself. The whole notion of the self is a fluid concept - it's constantly evolving - and I was always in the process of catching up intellectually to a fixed notion of who I should be. But that itself was a false approach - I learned to be less rigid and dogmatic and take things as they come without constantly trying to organise, categorise and structure everything to my taste.

You're saying you've finally evolved Into the kind of person you wanted to become?

We could get intensely philosophical about this, but in a way that's what I feel is happening to me. It's like I've been trying to put the pieces of my life together in this absurd, random way. I was a late bloomer; I needed a lot of time to gain a certain level of awareness about myself and life before I could figure out where I was going. Then one day - boom - life no longer seemed like this chaotic abstraction.

Has your relationship with Ethan changed you?

I think I made the important changes in my attitude before we started living together, otherwise things wouldn't have worked out, but Ethan has helped me feel very comfortable and totally honest, so I don't feel any pressure to project sides of myself that aren't real. I can be myself with him, which is probably the most important thing any relationship can do for you.

You and Ethan are in the process of renovating an old house. How's the work going?

It's a never-ending story. The house is a wreck but that's part of its charm. One day Ethan and I were out driving, and we saw it and started screaming. "We have to buy this!" Ethan had been shooting a movie in Canada earlier this year so it was up to me to handle the renovations. It's a lot of fun to completely rebuild a house. Ethan kept calling and asking me what I was doing with the place. But he doesn't really care, as long as I'm happy. He's so cool about things like that.

How's motherhood?

I can't describe it properly. Motherhood has put me in the happiest state of mind I've ever experienced. It's like all the shit we accumulate in our everyday lives - worrying about our work, our friends, how we related to other people - suddenly all that doesn't make any difference to me. It's like nothing else has the slightest importance when you're in love with your husband and your baby.

Did you ever think it would be like this?

I'd spent years thinking about becoming a mother and planning the kind of life I would lead if I ever found the right man and the right circumstances to raise a family. Now that it's all come together I have this very intense, very weird feeling of deja vu.

Does it make you feel as if the rest of your life has been like treading water?

When you become pregnant, there's a force inside you that you can't escape. This is your reality, you are becoming a mother - and it cuts through the bullshit.

You mean you haven't been honest with yourself and with other people in the past?

Becoming an actress was in some ways a huge contradiction with the kind of person I aspired to be. That imposes a heavy burden of guilt on your psyche because I'm wondering all the time if I have become this false being who has allowed myself to be trapped in a business that embraces cosmetic values and narcissism above all else.

So why become an actress?

Boredom! (Laughs) When I was a teenager, I hated school and I wanted to rebel against my intellectual upbringing. The dinner table at my house was this moving philosophical feast and my parents expected me and my brothers to bring serious ideas to the table and deal with philosophical concepts. That makes the world of ideas very exciting - but the downside is that when I attended my regular classes I felt bored out of my mind. I couldn't wait to finish school and do something with my life. That's why I decided not to attend university and become an actress. It was better than waitressing!

Have you overcome the ambiguity you've felt about your looks and how people perceive you?

I needed a long time to get over the self-loathing that comes from feeling different. I spent my youth trying to fit in. I longed for approval. Even the kids who rejected me, the minute they were nice I'd put it all behind me. That's how desperate I was. Even when I got approval as an actress, it felt false. It was cosmetic, not spiritual. I had a catharsis about it a few years ago, and that's what enabled me to share a beautiful life with Ethan instead of torturing myself. Now I can look forward to living in an old house with a big white-picket fence. Believe me, it's much better this way.