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Title: Castaways 8/16 By the time Giles got back to the campsite, his mind was a whirl. He couldn't help thinking of the sight he'd seen. Buffy's breasts. She might be too thin just now, but she was still lovely. Her smile still lit a wide radius and warmed his heart. And her breasts were full, with nipples that just begged for attention. Giles berated himself for even thinking of Buffy that way. She was so young and so vulnerable. And had spent the past two nights holding him all through the night as if her life depended on it. Giles knew he had loved Buffy for a very long time, and he knew she was a very attractive girl. No, not a girl anymore, he reminded himself. A woman. All he could imagine for a moment was taking her in his arms and making love with her. He snorted in frustration at himself. Even if Buffy did end this mess with Spike, he had no reason to hope she would turn to him. And even if she did, he wondered if he really ought to accept an offer from her now. And then there was the small question of whether they would ever see civilization again. If she did turn to him when there was no other person to choose, what would she do when they got back home? Besides, his home was Bath and hers was Sunnydale. How could they possibly have a relationship? "Steady on, old man," he reminded himself. "She hasn't said she wants one. I'm not sure I want one." Her current good mood aside, Giles knew it would be a long time before Buffy was truly herself again. Did he really want to open himself up to the sort of pain she could inflict unintentionally if they did make love and she regretted it? No. Best be on his guard, he decided. A moment later he was laughing at himself. As if he'd ever been able to guard himself where Buffy was concerned. She'd wrapped him firmly around her little finger the first day they met. She'd held him in thrall for so long he hadn't known what to do with himself when she was gone. He'd barely begun to live his own life when he was called back to take care of hers again. He wanted to live his own way, if only he could figure out what that was. Giles shook his head and went to put on some clothes. ***** The next two days passed without major incident. Tempers flared occasionally and words of comfort were exchanged in both directions. Buffy became more comfortable with Giles going shirtless, and began to wear slightly less herself. She ate more when Giles coaxed her to. At night she crawled into his arms as soon as she was unconscious, and he held her close. Each began to wonder in a tiny part of their brains if it would really be so bad if they never left the island. ***** When Willow came home from class, she found Dawn in the kitchen, staring at the phone. "What's up, Dawnie? It's not gonna ring all on it's own, y'know." "Tell me about it." Willow nodded sagely. "Kevin didn't ask you to the big dance, did he?" "No. I mean, he didn't, but that's not it." "Then what is? 'Cause that looks like a pretty big it you're thinking about there." "Buffy. She's been gone for like four days and she hasn't called once. How long do you think she's gonna be gone?" "Really? Not even once? I know I hadn't talked to her, but I sorta assumed...have you asked Xander if he's talked to her?" Dawn nodded sadly. "I even asked Anya. Nobody's heard from her. Willow, what if something's happened to her?" "I'm sure she's okay, Dawn. Maybe there's just a lot of demons to take care of. She said she was gonna be gone a week or ten days." "She said she was gonna call every night, too. She said she meant it. I think something's wrong." "Well, y'know, she's been sorta distracted lately. Maybe she's still not exactly here in the now Buffy. I think she'll call when she gets a chance." "She promised. I'm gonna call her." "Did she leave a number?" Dawn pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket. "She told me to call if I needed her." Dawn dialed the number as Willow began to prepare dinner. Involved as she was in finding and chopping vegetables for a salad, Willow didn't pay attention to the conversation. She did, however, notice when Dawn started dialing again as soon as she'd hung up. "Who are you calling?" "Xander. We need to have a meeting. Buffy never showed up in Miami." ***** Buffy sat on the beach watching the sun set. It was nice to see it without immediately worrying about whether she had a stake or even a cross. She smiled as the sky blazed in shades of pink and red and yellow. She didn't even look up when Giles joined her. "Hey," she said. "Hey," he returned. "Pretty, isn't it?" "Yeah. I've decided something; I like it here." Giles smiled slightly. "Paradise?" "Not quite. Too solid. But not a bad second place. Almost as peaceful." "I like the solidity of it. But the peace is more than welcome for now." "But not for always?" "As nice as it is to be alone with you and no vampires, I want my life back." "Funny, I've been saying that since I was fifteen." "Then I have five years on you." Buffy laughed as she looked at Giles. "More than that, Giles. It's not like you're twenty one anymore." "Alright, in that case I suppose I have some thirty two years on you asking whose life is it, anyway." "Got an answer on that yet?" "Oh, it's mine, I suppose. My choices were limited by circumstance, but I still had a few." "How're those choices going for you?" "Some well, some spectacularly badly. You?" "About the same, I guess. It's just nice to watch a sunset for once without my gut clenching while I wait for a vamp to come looking for a snack. Part of me doesn't want this to end." "And the rest of you?" "Really, really wants to get back home to Dawn and Will, and Xander, and my sucky life. It may not be much, but it's mine. I want it back." "I just wish I knew how to get us home. I've been researching, but I've yet to find anything." Buffy leaned against Giles and chuckled. "That's my Watcher. Always with the research. If anybody can find it, you can." Giles wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her gently. "Your confidence in my abilities is probably misplaced, but much appreciated all the same." "Hey, we've taken on vampires and demons and the Hellmouth and even a God. Together, we can beat pretty much anything." Buffy slid her arms around Giles' waist. "You and me, Giles. We're a pretty amazing team." "Are we? A team?" "Even without the handbook I know that's how it's supposed to be. And I know it hasn't been right for a long time, but I want to fix that. I want you back." Giles hesitated. He pulled out of Buffy's arms and faced her squarely. "Then we need to be completely honest with one another, Buffy. I need to know what it is you want of me. I won't go back if I'm to be used to simply take care of the pieces of your life you don't want to deal with." "I know I did that. I really did. And I feel bad about it. But I was a complete mess and nobody was helping with anything. Not even you, really. You all just wanted me to be better with no fuss and no fallout. How was I supposed to do that, Giles? Besides, there are a lot less things I'm avoiding these days, so it's not the burning issue you might think. And you need to share more with the class. I was too screwed up to read the signs until it was too late and you were waving a plane ticket in my face and saying you were on your way. What was I supposed to do then?" "Perhaps there were some things I could have handled better, myself." "Understatement much? It's like when Will and I went to college and you sat around your apartment waiting for us to come to you. You never said you were feeling neglected until you got plastered that one night and blew raspberries at me. You could have said." "You might have noticed," he pointed out mildly. "I was eighteen. The world ended right about where my nose left off. I couldn't see any further without cue cards. You were the grownup. You didn't act very upgrown." "What you couldn't see beyond was Riley's penis." "Giles!" Buffy giggled. "Like you could see beyond Olivia's boobs." "I was rather forced to when she left." "Another thing you didn't bother to tell the rest of us. I'd have let you cry on my shoulder if I'd known." "And nattered on about young Riley and your precious Professor Walsh?" "And maybe you could have warned me about the Initiative a little better if you were being a part of my life then." "Which I might have been if you'd had any time or thought for me." Buffy shook her head and blew out a frustrated breath. "Okay, so faults on both sides, I guess. I'll cop to mine if you'll cop to yours. Deal?" "Deal. And Buffy? I'm sorry for my faults, and I forgive you yours." "Me too. Now was that so hard?" He tried, but Giles couldn't keep a straight face. "Yes, it was, but I know it's at least as hard for you, so I'll live." Buffy joined in the laughter. Every time one tried to catch a breath, the other would go into fresh gales of mirth and send the other over the edge. At last, they both lay in the sand and giggled. Giles felt a small hand reach up to caress his cheek. He leaned over to see Buffy looking at him seriously, but not unhappily. "Have I ever told you I really like you, Giles?" "You know, I don't believe you've ever said it. Then again, I don't think I ever said I like you, and I do." "It just never seemed to need saying. Sorta like telling someone the sky is blue." "It didn't need saying," he assured her, "but it is rather nice to hear." "It really is." Giles looked down at Buffy, her hair framing her face, her eyes aglow with happiness, and he was overwhelmed with an urge to kiss her. He leaned down a bit closer, then hesitated. They searched one another's eyes for a long moment. At last, Buffy's gaze dropped and he pulled back. "I - I'm sorry," Giles said as he sat back up and faced away from Buffy. "No, don't be," Buffy told him as she stood and dusted the sand off her shorts. "I just...I don't know. I'm not sure...look, I still haven't told Spike it's over. I can't move on to the next guy yet. Anyway, me and guys? Not the best idea ever. I can't lose you, Giles. I only just got you back. Don't make me lose you again." She turned and walked in the direction of the camp. Giles watched her go with a sinking heart.
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