Title: Me and You 1/1
Author: Danielle
E-mail: PrincessCashew@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: As You Were
Summary: Spike thinks while Buffy leaves with Riley
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, and whoever has rights to these people in court. Do not sue me, I'm poor anyway.
Distribution: Whoever wants it can have it, just e-mail me first so I can come and visit.


Walk away. It's what you always do anyway. Just turn around with that sod and go back to your own little life. The one you won't let me into. The one where you make me fuck you out on your front lawn like you're a bleeding bitch in heat.

But I block that all out, cause hey, maybe that's my place. Maybe that's all I'm good for. A hormone induced romp in the grass while I cover your mouth with my own so your little sister doesn't hear your moans. A few moments of escape from it all.

I try and I give, and I know just now how Harmony felt all those times. She was just the same too, thinking things had changed for her, that it was going to be better and she'd be happy, but only right before I'd kick her back flat on her ass.

And she let me do it, would come begging for more. Please just fucking hit me one more time. Call me ignorant and worthless and berate me only as you know how. Make everything inside of me ache and quiver because
God damn it that's better than nothing from you at all.

I want you, and you'll let me have you, but only under your conditions. And they're not the ones I had in mind.
It's only going to be a piece of you I get to see, and touch and taste. And that's not even you. You can fool all the others but not me. You've changed, and maybe we're all supposed, who am I to say, but I know I haven't. Behind Big Bad Spike, there's William, always lurking with a stupid thing to say or a stupid tear to shed. Over a century and I am still the same blubbering lovesick fool.

But you're not the girl anymore, not the one I fell in love with. My heart doesn't want to listen though, it thinks, just like it always does, that maybe, just maybe this is its chance. That it won't have a stiletto heel shoved through its aorta again. But my mind knows, and it won't stop yammering on about how impossible this all is.
How it can't be my words of love that save you.

I think I've figured it out. Because I know you.  You want to deny it all you want but I'm the only one that gets it. Your Scoobies don't know. Your sister doesn't know. Your fucking excuse of a boyfriend Whitebread sure didn't have a clue in that empty worthless head of his.

But I know it all.

Know you hate that it's me. That I'm the only one left at the end of the day. The one who doesn't care that you smell like burgers or haven't slept in three days. The guy who's willing to always hang around, who's never going to go away and how you wish you could just make me.

Know your goo goo eyes are all for him, the man who doesn't deserve you. The stupid git who left because you were too much of a woman for him. Who had you, and just pushed you away. I wanted to laugh when I saw his face, when he looked up with that demon whore hanging onto his bicep and you were standing right there. But it hurt you, so I didn't bother, cause I knew that too.

You know what else I've figured out. My cum in its icy, lifeless spurts doesn't even make you shiver and you want to know why? Because it's just one more dead, cold thing inside the shell of Buffy Summers. You heard me. Dead. You tell me I make you come alive, that I ignite something inside of you, but the only thing hot that you have is your pussy and even that is just a small consolation prize.

I want to explain if you'd only let me, this whole thing.


But you won't. You don't want to hear me speak. You just want my hands and my cock and my tongue. And it really doesn't matter what I want. Because you know I'll give it to you. Because I'm weak and it's true that I'm beneath you, that I'm unworthy.

So I'll let you use me.

Abuse me.

Accuse me.

Because it's all I've got.

Title Page
Author's Page