Title: A Mile In His Moccasins 3/26
Author: Gileswench
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.

As Buffy trudged wearily home she considered Giles' return yet again. It was clear that he didn't want to be in Sunnydale anymore than she was willing to admit she wanted him around.

Or did she?

Part of her did. But part of her didn't. Part of her wanted the safety and comfort that had always been Giles. The one who kept believing in her no matter what dumb mistakes she made, the one who made things right and gave her what she needed to beat the bad things.

But he'd made himself one of the not safe things when he'd left her. If she let him in, he might pull yet another rug out from under her feet and she wasn't sure she'd be able to take another betrayal.

She stopped in her tracks and sighed. She was too tired to deal with this tonight.

"I said it's over, Spike. When are you going to listen to me?"

"When you say what you mean for once."

"I do mean it."

"Then why are you just standing there? Why won't you even look at me when you say it? Why can I smell you -"

"Stop it! No smelling. And really no nothing else. Please."

"Please, she says?" Spike laughed. "Polite was never your style. Don't try to start now. I told you we weren't finished. I have things to say. Now, you can hear me out right here and now or I can come by your place a bit later and tell your friends what you've been up to. What's it gonna be?"

"Fine. Say what you have to say and go away. I have to get Dawn's dinner home to her. And no smushing it this time. We're not going to do that again. Ever."

"Oh yes we are. You won't be able to help yourself. Doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself you don't want it, you do."

"And sometimes I want to throw myself off a bridge, but I figured out that's not good for me and neither are you. Look, I'm tired and Dawn is probably hungry and her dinner's getting cold."

"And I'm sure she's just sitting home with her salivary glands going all into overdrive for another Doublemeat burger. She doesn't want it."

"It isn't a burger. It's the Chicken Strips."

"Yeah. Big improvement."

"It's what I can do."

Spike shook his head.

"You never were any good at anything but the Slaying, were you?"

"Is that what you came to tell me? Can I go now?"

"Fine. Go on."

Buffy took a step forward only to find Spike moving to block her path.

"Y'know," he said, "you're really something. Just break up with a guy without ever even letting your friends know you were shagging the daylights out of him. Maybe I should take a little jaunt to Los Angeles and let your one true love know what you did with me."

"Angel would stake you and you know it. Are we done?"

"You really don't get it, do you? We're not done. We'll never be done."

"I have to go. Let me through."

Spike stepped aside.

"It's not over. You remember that."

He sauntered off in the direction of his crypt. Buffy watched him go with a racing heart. She fought down the tiny part of her that wanted to run after him and make him make her forget everything. She turned her steps for home and willed herself to move in that direction instead.

*****

When she got home, Buffy heard voices in the dining room. She shrugged off her coat and headed there with the Doublemeat bag in her hand for Dawn. Buffy blinked when she walked into the room.

Giles sat at the head of the table with Dawn on one side and Willow on the other. They were just finishing up a meal. Giles looked up and smiled softly at her.

"Buffy. I hope you don't mind, but we didn't wait. Sit down and I'll get your plate."

"You made dinner?"

"Earning my keep, as it were. Go on, sit down."

Buffy sat with a thump.

"I guess I didn't need to bring this home," she said as she put down the fast food bag in front of Dawn. "I thought you didn't have any dinner."

"Hey, I was surprised too. Nobody told me Giles was coming back. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't know. Nobody told me, either."

Giles came back and put a plate of food in front of Buffy.

"Here you are. I hope you like it. I was experimenting a bit. There was a rather...unusual assortment in the refrigerator. Still. There it is."

"I haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping this week."

"Well maybe you can go tomorrow," Willow suggested. "You're on the late shift, right?"

"It's a double shift. But I could go the day after."

"Sure. I think we can make it till then. Buffy, I'm gonna go to The Bronze. Mind if I take Dawnie? She finished her homework. Maybe you could even come after patrol?"

"Sure. You guys go. I probably won't show, though. Long day. And another tomorrow."

"And I'm guessing maybe some Watcher/Slayer stuff. I mean, they wouldn't have sent Giles back here if there wasn't mystical stuff going on you need to know about."

"Yes, there is that," Giles agreed. "But I'm sure if Buffy wanted to have a coffee and hear a bit of music that we could still manage to talk afterward. Or I could patrol with you. Kill two birds with one stone."

"Go with me? You haven't done that in forever."

"Would it be all right?"

With Willow and Dawn nodding encouragingly, Buffy felt she had no choice.

"Sure. Great. The more the merrier."

"Hey, maybe you can even talk Giles into coming to The Bronze after," Dawn suggested. "Y'know, celebrate that he's here."

"We'll see. I don't know if I'm going yet."

Willow and Dawn left quickly after that with a few more pleas to both Buffy and Giles that they come along to the club after patrol. As soon as they were gone, Buffy shoved her plate away and stood.

"I didn't think it was that bad," Giles observed.

"No. Just...I'm not hungry. That daily Doublemeat Medley really fills you up. And hey, it's my one perk so I take it."

"How are things, really?"

"Okay. Things are okay."

Giles decided not to push the question for the moment. After a moment Buffy spoke again.

"Thanks. For doing that. I know Dawn is sick of fast food, but it's...fast. I don't always have time to cook now I'm working."

"I did a few other things while I was at it. I hope you don't mind."

"Like what?"

"A spot of cleaning. And a bit of gardening. I left the laundry, though. I wasn't certain if anything needed special handling."

"Wow. All that in one day."

"I had the time." He ran a hand through his hair. "You know, Buffy, if you do a little bit every day, it all gets done and frightening things don't grow behind the toilet."

He smiled slightly to let her know he wasn't scolding her.

Every muscle in her body stiffened. How dare he tell her how easy it was?

"Thanks for the hint, Heloise. I'm gonna catch a shower and change before we go on patrol."

She hurried up the stairs before he could answer. Giles blew out a frustrated breath and went to clear the table. Couldn't Buffy see that he was trying to make it up to her?

*****

If Giles had counted on the old routine of patrol to make things easier, he was faced with severe disappointment. Buffy just seemed to get more upset with him every time he opened his mouth. If he talked about demons and his mission from the Council, she glared and snapped. If he tried to talk about her life since he'd left, she shut down entirely. And he wished to heaven his head would stop aching.

Buffy couldn't believe this was the same Giles who had always been the one thing she felt she couldn't do without. One minute, he would only talk about work, as if he didn't give a damn about her. The next he was telling her how to run her life. What gave him the right? And what if Spike decided to show up? If he did, she was completely screwed.

Which meant that he probably would.

"Look, can we just get this over with, Giles? I know what I'm looking for. Scaly, ugly thing with seriously backfirey mojo. If I see it, I sneak up and take it out. Easy."

"It isn't easy," Giles told her with some asperity. "It has caused untold havoc for centuries. Every time it has been seen it has managed to escape, sometimes at the cost of a Slayer's life."

"I don't die so easy. And I never seem to stay dead."

Giles shook his head in frustration.

"I don't understand you, Buffy. You've always been a fighter. Why won't you fight?"

"That's a laugh coming from you, Braveheart. You left. I was stuck here, but I keep on trying."

"Really? Do you?"

"Don't you dare tell me I'm not trying. God, you're right about one thing, though. You never understood me and you never will. And you know what else, I'll never understand you, either."

"No, you won't because you don't see what's right in front of you."

"And you're completely blind! And - and there's a big, scaly demon behind you, Giles!"

Giles spun around wildly only to find himself knocked to the ground with a scaly claw. He tried to warn Buffy to let the thing go until they could catch it unawares, but she was already leaping for the beast. Buffy was almost on the creature when a bolt of magic flew from its gnarled hand and hit Buffy in the chest. It ricocheted to hit Giles as well. As the Slayer hit the ground, her Watcher lost consciousness for the second time since returning to Sunnydale that morning.

*****

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