ok...I just wanna say, before you read this...That everything will be ok, don't get upset and E-mail me, just keep reading, and trust me. But, do feel free to tell me what you think :o) Good and Bad.
On the way back to the hotel you barely say anything. Taylor seems a little concerned, but you can't help it. Your thoughts are going crazy, and you can't stop thinking about...."everything". You are almost there when Taylor finally can't take it anymore. "What's wrong!?"he says stepping in front of you. "Nothing" you say a little confused."...ok..." Taylor says still really worried.
The rest of the night you are really quiet, even at supper. No one really even notices except Taylor. You know he wants to talk, but is giving you space.
As you are getting ready for bed Taylor comes up to you and gives you a hug. You hug him back tightly, then give him a kiss. "Goodnight" you say sweetly. "Goodnight, see ya in the morning" he says back. "...Yeah..." you say, uncertainty filling your words.
You lay in your bed your mind racing and you heart pounding. You glance over at the clock...2 am. You slowly and quietly get out of your bed. You look around the room to make sure you didn't wake anyone. You walk towards the sleeping Taylor and kneel by him. You stare at him peacefully sleeping and you start to cry. You lay your head next to his, and start to cry even harder. You think to yourself how can I be doing this?!....but I have to! And you lift your head up once again, still crying you gently kiss Taylor and stand up. He moves a little, but doesn't wake up. You thank the lord he didn't. You back away from Taylor, tears streaming down your face, and you pick up your bags and head for the door. Just as you open it you notice Mackie standing in the room with a confused look on his face. You turn to him. "Where are...you going?" he asks. Seeing his sweet little face makes you sadder and you drop to your knees. Mackie walks over to you and you grab him and hug him so tight. "Where you going?" he says again, barely being able to speak, because he's being squeezed so tight. You finally let go and you look him in the eyes. "Why are you crying?" he asks sounding really confused and starts to cry himself. "Mackie, please don't cry. It will be ok, it will" you say trying to comfort the now frightened little boy. "I'm just leaving for a little bit, ok?" you say nodding your head. "Wh...why?" he asks still teary eyed. "Well...I just...I....I don't know what to do anymore Mackie. I prayed this could work out, but I don't know how it could ever possibly. I knew from the start, the moment I got into this. I guess I just thought it would work out...but now, I know it won't." Mackie looks at you completely confused and is only aware of the fact that you are leaving them. You know he's confused and you ask him to promise not to tell anyone about this until morning. He looks at you sadly. "OK" he says "I promise". You look at him, then give him one last hug. You stand up, walk out and take one last look at Taylor, close your eyes tightly and shut the door.
