~*Chapter Two*~


You know, today AJ did the sweetest thing. He’s always written poetry, and he’s damn good at it too. But today, he sat down and wrote one for Kayti. Tears sprung to my eyes when he read it out to Nick. I got a copy of it from AJ.
Life had a meaning
When you were with us
You always brought
That cheeky smile,
And heaps of love.
But now too many
Hearts have been broken,
Too many tears have been shed.
Too many souls shattered,
That not even God
Above can mend.
You’ll be forever in our hearts,
Even though you’re gone,
And eventually we’ll realise
That our lives must go on.
Friends with everyone,
You were the sweetest.

I’m crying now, even thinking about it. It reminds me so much of Kayti, and of Eryk. I miss them both so much, that my heart hurts. It makes me feel sick, but I know that it will pass.

Brian got kinda angry at me today, I’m not sure really why. I don’t think that I did anything wrong. He yelled at me cos I didn’t listen to him when he was talking in the car on the way over. I was thinking about Eryk, but I didn’t want to tell Brian that. So I just apologized, and made sure I paid more attention to him. No one really knows this, but Brian has a wicked temper. It gets so out of hand sometimes. I get kinda scared, but I know he loves me. And that’s really all I need to know.

I wrote Kayti a letter today. It’s pretty much the way I learnt to deal with a death, and it works. I wrote to her telling her how much I miss her, and everything. Actually, I’ll just put the letter in here, cos it ain’t gonna do her much good.

Kayti,
I miss you. I miss the way that you brightened up a room when you walked into it. I miss the way that we could make jokes about anything, even the fluff on ceiling fans. I miss the happiness I saw in your eyes. But most of all, I miss the way we used to talk.
It’s hard, Kayti. You were always there for me, you knew everything about me. And now that you’re gone, no one knows me anymore. Brian thinks he knows me, but he doesn’t. It was only you, and now you’re gone. I don’t want to tell my sob story all over again. And I especially don’t want Brian to come to my Pity Party, as you liked to call it.
But, even though I miss you, I have a confession to make.
Kayti, I’m angry at you. Why did you leave me? Why did you leave Nick? Couldn’t you have tried harder to make it? Not everyone dies of a broken neck, you know. But I suppose you didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I just wish that it hadn’t been you. Anyone else I could deal with. But now, I don’t know. It’s too hard, and I have nothing in my life that can help me deal with this.
Brian can try, but he’ll never know the extent of my grief. Only you did Kayti, and for the time we spent together, I’m grateful. I just wish you were here, that’s all.


So, kinda depressing, huh. Oh well, it’s not like there is much I can do about my grief. I know that people would tell me to tell someone what happened, but I can’t. I don’t want them to look at me the way they look at Nick at the moment - that horrid look of pity. I can’t stand that, I got enough of it in South Africa. I don’t want it here as well.

You know the drill, I’ll write later.


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