~*Chapter Fourteen*~
Why do I need to care so much?
What is it that I need to feel?
There’s nothing ever there for me to clutch
There’s nothing that ever seems real
Cos I’m only lonely on the inside
Thoughts get jumbled in my head
Is there such a thing as togetherness…
cos I’m not alive, but I’m not dead
Chance star encounters scare me
I’ve never been lucky in love
Can’t you even try to free me?
Send me an angel from Heaven above
Books on the shelves represent my life
tattered, torn, broken, old
my heart is twisted by that stone-cold knife
I wish I could be that bold
Cos I’m only lonely on the inside
outside my breath is fine
but my love wavers like a candle in the wind
and the blood it bleeds is dark as wine
Leesa woke up, sweating. "I’ve got to write that down," she thought, flicking the light switch on. The most poignant song had come to her in her dreams, and she felt so compelled to write it down that she didn’t even notice the figure perched on the end of her bed until she had finished.
"Damn, AJ! What the hell are you doing in my room?"
"Lees, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t sleep, and I knew the combination to your door, so I let myself in. See, I had the worst dream I can imagine, and I needed to know you were ok. That’s all. But if you want me to go, I will," he said quickly, looking down at the rumpled bedspread on which he sat.
"No, it’s ok. I don’t mind. I just wish you would have let me know before I nearly died!" she said quietly, her notepad and pen moving around nervously in her palm.
AJ looked at the notepad. "What’s that?"
"Just a song I heard in my dream. It was really pretty, and I want to record it. I can remember it perfectly… Cos I’m only lonely on the inside, thoughts get jumbled in my head…"she sang, the tune fresh in her memory. AJ marveled at her sweet, husky voice, and said, "Can I sing to you?"
"Ah, yeah… I ‘spose…" she trailed off, confused.
AJ began to sing a song by Cherry, called "The Saddest Song".
"Remember that song, it was your song
It was my song
It used to be our song.
It used to make me smile
I memorised every line
Ooh, in happier times.
Now when the radio plays
I just wanna run away and hide
Cos it hurts too much inside
That song just makes me cry…
AJ looked at Leesa as he sung, his heart vibrating with the love he felt for her, and the love he thought that she would never give him back. She looked back, deep into his clear brown eyes, and sung with him…
Now it’s the saddest song I ever heard
My heart is breaking baby, now with every word
Used to be the sweetest song,
but now you’re gone
and I can’t, no I can’t
Understand… oh why,
tell me why, tell me why
Why did our song turn so sad?"
AJ turned his head slowly towards Leesa, his heart pounding. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to think. All he knew was, this was now or never.
He leaned closer to her, his heart beating furiously. She sat, scared at what she was feeling. Nothing like this had ever happened to her before, and it seemed too good to be true. She realised, listening to him sing, that she did love him. It seemed ridiculous, like some predictable story. But it wasn’t. She’d never expected this to happen, and now that it was happening, she couldn’t be happier.
As their lips met for the first time, AJ’s heart felt full. It felt right, and all that he had been worrying about melted away. Leesa didn’t think. She couldn’t.
She felt his lips smile against her. She pulled away from him slowly, smiling as well.
"What are you smiling for?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes.
"I’ve waited so long for this. You have no idea, Lees," he smiled cheekily.
She hid a shy smile, and whispered, "Yeah, I do."
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