This is the (shortened) story of our trip to see our man Davy in concert.
We drove five long hours to Columbia, Missouri. But let me tell you, it was worth it!
Close to where Sunny lives there is a really cool McDonalds where we had lunch before leaving town.
We were already hyper and decided to get our pictures taken with Ronald.
I think we made him feel violated!
The ride down to Missouri was eventful to say the least.
Our adventure was filled with broken bathrooms and creapy truckstop men. 
When we finally arrived at the hotel it was much nicer than we’d expected.
The people at the front desk looked us over with just a tad bit of arrogance.
Hey, we’d been driving for hours and who cares if you could see my bra through my shirt?
Anyway, we dragged our always-excessive luggage to our spacious room and settled in.
Since we'd checked in pretty late we rushed downstairs to the club to get in as much dancing as we could. Davy's show wasn't until the next night, so we had all night to party. And we did!
Being guests of the hotel got us into their nightclub for free. The club was called Spanky's and it was a total meat market. Normally we hate those kinds of clubs, but since we were from out of town, it didn't really matter (it's a logic few understand). 
We heard some of the worst pickup lines there from "So what are you, some kind of snot?" to "How would you like a sip of my beer?"
Anyway, we had some drinks and got crazy on the dance floor. Some short guy kept trying to dance with us, but us girls just wanted to dance with each other.
Loafy and Sandy showed up after a while and joined us. Apparently Davy had a book signing at the mall in the morning, so they’d come a day early. And we had thought we’d have the place to ourselves. 
Well, the night went on and so did the beer. During the last song of the night Nat said to me, "I can't see anything anymore."
"Neither can I," I said. "Keep dancing."
Yes, we had a great time. Sometime after that I was crawling down the hall to my room and then Nat gave me a ride on her back.
”What are they doing?” Loafy asked Sunny.
“I think Bootsie lost a contact lens,” Sunny replied.
We finally fell asleep after tons of fun with glow-in-the-dark silly putty. Who knew how much fun that stuff could be? What crazy times!
You're probably wondering what all this has to do with Davy Jones. Well, if it weren't for him we'd just be sitting at home twiddling our thumbs. Okay, maybe not, but we wouldn't be where we were.
Okay, now we all know that sometimes fans can get a little crazy and go overboard with their affections.
Now and then these fans will spend great amounts of time looking and waiting for their idol when they know that they are close by.
This is called stalking. But being as how my three friends and I are not that type of fan, we tend to do just the opposite- we avoid Davy before his show so that he doesn't think we're stalkers. Does that make any sense?
Probably not because it's late. Anyway, on the day of the show we seemed to have terrible luck (or good luck, depending on how you look at it). We kept running into Davy in our hotel.
Early Saturday morning we had just by chance befriended a hotel maintenance guy who we shall call Ernie for his protection (you know, we don't want to put his job in jeopardy).
He had blurted out to us for no apparent reason that Davy was staying in room 157. Well now, had we been stalkers this information would have been gold. But we weren't, so it only helped us to identify which part of the hotel to avoid.
But we managed to run into him anyway while he was rushing off to the book signing that he was late for.
About an hour later Sunny, Nat and I decided to take a walk outside while Michelle napped in the room. We knew Davy was still across the street at the mall, so we weren't worried about running into him. After wandering around for a while
we ran into Davy's drummer Sandy and his guitarist Dave.
"What are you guys doing?" they asked us.
"Just wandering around," we replied. God, we hoped it didn't look like we were wandering around looking for Davy. There was another strike against us.
Well, we asked them if they knew where the indoor pool was and they pointed us down the stairs to the first floor (the lobby was on the second floor).
So we headed down to look for it. At the bottom of the stairs was the door to the biggest gym I have ever seen in a hotel. There must have been twenty machines in there and the walls were all mirrored. On the wall next to the door was a sign that said INDOOR POOL and had an arrow. So we followed the arrow and went down a hall of more guest rooms.
We looked at the room numbers- 148, 152, 154- "Guys, we're headed for Davy's room!" Now, this looked REAL bad because when we got to the end of the hall just past his room there was no pool, just an exit to another staircase. So now the three of us were alone in a long hallway in a remote part of the bottom floor of the hotel for what seemed like absolutely no reason.
"Guys," I said, "We have to get out of here before Davy comes back and thinks we were looking for him."
So we walked quickly back down the hall hoping that he hadn't finished his book signing and was headed back to his room.
We got back to the gym and found the door to the pool staring us in the face. Now how stupid would that have looked to explain to Davy that we were all the way down by his room looking for the pool when it had been right there for any idiot to see?
Of course, we ran into Davy in the lobby one more time before we left for home that night.
Hey, did I mention that the guy who served us coffee at the hotel restaraunt was really hot and had a sexy accent? He was and he did.
Anyhoo, we waited in line for the show with the other fans for about an hour. Davy was in a great mood and the show was magnificent. He came out into the audience during the Brady Bunch Theme Song. I'm sure he regretted that later since the women in the audience wouldn't let him back on stage.
As usual the show left the four of us with that amazing, happy, everything-is-right-with-the-world, post-Davy feeling. We had to leave that same night to get back to our families for Easter. So there was only one thing left to do- go back to Spanky's.
That's right, we hadn't had our fill of partying yet. The DJ was a young guy and he let us leave our shoes behind the booth so we could dance better. We asked him to play the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails. 
He said, "Oh, yeah. I love that song. Yeah, I have that. But I can't play it."
"Why not?"
"Well, because there are a bunch of Davy Jones fans in here and they might get offended."
"Dude," I argued, "that's us! We're Davy Jones fans. You're talking about fans of a guy who's taken his pants off on stage and tells some of the dirtiest jokes I've ever heard."
"Really?" he said. "Maybe I should catch his show next time." He apologized again but still refused. Oh, well. Maybe next time.
Well, eventually we had to leave the wonderful world of Columbia, Missouri. As we were headed out we ran into Davy and everyone else on their way to Spanky’s.
”Where are you going?” Loafy asked us.
“We have to go,” I told him.
“But it’s early,” he reasoned.
Well, as much as we wanted to stay and party with the boys we had to tear ourselves away.
So the next time you see Davy Jones in concert remember what you've read. And if you see four well-dressed women making complete fools out of themselves and having a great time, you'll know it's us. And if you're so inclined, feel free to join us!
Until then, remember the words of Salt n' Pepa: Open up your heart and set your mind free!
