This has been a long journey, one that I have not taken alone. I have had ALOT of help along the way. Some of the simpliest things have had great meaning for me. I remember one day when I was really feeling bad and I was unable to make dinner for my family.......there was a knock on the door and in a box was a meal for all of us. Just a note that said " I hope you enjoy your dinner" no names nothing. You would have thought I'd been given a million dollars!!!

When I was in the hospital during this past summer, everyone helped out to make sure my son and family were taken care of. When I came home, some women from our church made sure meals were delivered everyday for a week.

Something my friends and I came up with a few years ago was something called a "Pity Party", it's not what it sounds like. Actually it is pretty silly, but it helps all of us. The idea is, once a month we would have something similar to a pajama party. No problem too big or too small, biring your own comfort foods, drinks, video's ranging from love stories, comedies, mysteries..etc. NO KIDS or HUSBANDS allowed.....we would stay up and talk, laugh, cry and laugh somemore....but in the morning the world always looked better........even till this day will still try to carry on that tradition.

You know there are people who touch our lives and never truly know the impact they have made or the heartprints they have left.....Or when you Thank them they reply "It was no big deal," things like that still happen believe it or not. That is what true friendship is anyway, we accept our friends unconditionally. We see past the illnesses and the things we don't say because we know one another so well that we almost know what the other is thinking or feeling, so much so that sometimes it is downright scary...LOL I'm grateful to all the support I have gotten from the people on the Parenting with an Illness board-( has been discontinued) No, I have never met any of these people but we all share so much. The Good as well as the Bad. We even have board Pity Parties! You have to try it to understand them, it actually gets pretty silly at times!!!! I can't wait for the day that Ruth and I can have a real one!! And yes Ruth it will happen!!!

My friends have always been there to cheer me on, without out them I know I wouldn't have made it this far!!!!!! Everyone please remember........say what's in your heart don't miss a moment!!!!!!!!

My son has helped me so much and yes I'm very proud of his accomplishments but, I am more proud of the man he has become. It is amazing how our children adept, it is not as easy to see when they are young but it does get easier. I know it will hurt when I am gone, but I've had the time to prepare him and myself. And even with all that is going on I still enjoy the little things in life. I don't sit around and wonder if today will be the day. I still love sneaking out on my own for Ice Cream from Dairy Queen, or taking a drive to the beach with him. I love to talk about movies he's seen or books that he has been reading for school. And even what's new in music (Okay for all of you with teenagers not a subject we really want to talk about- I find myself sounding like my parents, Did I really say that?? LOL ) There are so many things in my life to share not just my illnesses. I'm still in this body. I like playing jokes or hiding little notes (yeah I know what a way to embarrass a teenager than a note in one of his books that says "I'm proud of you, have a great day!!!) and have all your friends looking on...lol.

As for my friend Ruth, words can't even begin to express what she has come to mean to me.........for never having meet each other face to face (Oh and we will!!!!) we have gotten so close!!!! She has seen me through some of my darkest moments,and boy we are real good at keeping the phone lines buzzing!!!Even with how bad a night I had pain wise and how I feel this morning.........I am sitting here crying........the pages look so beautiful, and to sit here and reread them, I'm thinking to myself is that really me up there????? I know it is but it seems so different to see it in actual words!!!! You have done a fantastic job!!!! Below is something I would like to add to it if you don't mind......it is in purple lettering........Thank you more than words can say........ There is someone I need to Thank specially!!!!! Ruth, has made these pages for me, worked endless hours, found all the graphics, songs..everthing, the only thing I have done is provide the words!!!! Those of you that have built your own pages know what an enormous endeavor this has been. Between staying in touch via e-mail, IM and numerous phone calls (even if it is just to tell me to get off my butt and do something........) I can never repay her or Thank her enough for all she has done both physically or mentally (more mentally lately). How do you begin to thank someone for giving you back your life and sanity????? No words can express it so I leave you with this.......

"I Treasure Your Friendship There is no greater treasure than an understanding friend who's there in times of trouble and on whom you can depend. A friend who knows our every mood and brightens cloudy days, one who's so to criticize but quick to offer praise. Who shares our happy times and gives them added worth, who adds a touch of heaven to all our days on earth. There is no greater treasure than a friend who always cares, one who will always remember us every day throughout the year." ~Larry S. Chengges~

I keep a Gratitude Journal some days there is only one or two things listed but most days there are more. Like what a beautiful Sunrise ~ or during spring and Summer I love to get up before everyone and have my coffee on the swing in the yard. Some days it reminds me of a Disney Movie, there are families of rabbits, squirrels chasing each other, even listening to the Woodpeckers pecking on the side of the house!!! That is a lot to be grateful for. Things may sound bad but I have it a lot better than a lot of people. What I am trying to get at I guess is that I am not alone in this, it might sound like a lot of bad stuff but there is so much good in my life!!!!