(posted on a computer in the office)
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical
need.
A special circuit in the machine called a 'critical detector'
senses the operator's emotional state in terms of how
desperate he or she is to use the machine. The 'critical
detector' then creates a malfunction proportional to the
desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with
violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise, attempts to
use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. They
belong to the same union. Keep cool and say nice things to
the machine. Nothing else seems to work.
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