(Hathor knocks at the door of Aphrodite’s private chamber)
APHRODITE- Come in. (she comes in) Oh, Hathor! Just the girl I wanted to see!
(Aphrodite is sitting on the floor, cross-legged, with a pair of scissors and one of her dresses)
HATHOR- Yes? What do you want, you majesty?
APHRODITE- Give me your honest opinion. Do you think this dress could use another slit?
HATHOR- Sure. Knock yourself out. But I have to tell you that we’ve developed our silver arrows.
APHRODITE- (cutting a slit) Oh, good! Those are the ones that bring out true feelings in people, right?
HATHOR- Correct as usual, my queen.
APHRODITE- I trust you’ll put them to use immediately. (looks at cut) Is this good??
HATHOR- Its a little crooked, but it looks okay.
APHRODITE- Really? (Hathor nods) I’ll widen it.
HATHOR- You do that. I have to go ready the army.
(she leaves and closed door)
HATHOR- (mimickingly) Should I do it like this or like this, Hathor??? Do you like it like that, Hathor??? (she walks away)
(It is the beginning of a Friday that the students of High Street High School have off)
TABBY- Ah, a beautiful Friday off. I could read “MONKEY GIRL” comics in bed all day if I wanted to. Or enjoy a late, leisurely breakfast of toast and then go to the comic store with Chad. Or get ice cream with Mary and Miranda. Or go over to Cherry or Ami’s house and “hang around”. Yes, the whole day is completely free!!
(Socrates flies in through window)
SOCRATES- Hi, Tabby! Chad’s fighting a battle all by his lonesome at the comic store. He needs help.
TABBY- You couldn’t have caught me at a worse time, you know that?
SOCRATES- I’m sorry.
TABBY- I guess I’ll have to go. (she sighs and transports herself)
CHAD- Nice of you to show up.
TABBY- No need to fear, the Lunarian is here.
(They fight the cupids for a while. Tabby and Chad get separated. Hathor shoots Tabby in the shoulder with a silver arrow)
SOCRATES- Chad! Tabby’s been shot with an arrow!
(The cupids retreat)
ARTEMIS- Oh, ye gods! What’s happened to Tabby?!!
CHAD- She was hit with an arrow.
ARTEMIS- Apollo!!! Come quick! Tabby’s been shot!!!
APOLLO- With an arrow?!?
ARTEMIS- Yes! What do you think?!?
APOLLO- Fates help us!! Chad, bring her in here!
(Chad takes her to a bed in the infirmary and lays her down)
ARTEMIS- Chad, where is the arrow?!?
CHAD- I don’t know! I think it vanished when the cupids retreated!
APOLLO- Chad, it is imperative that we know what kind of arrow she was hit with.
CHAD- It looked like ordinary metal.
ARTEMIS- So it wasn’t gold? Thank the Fates!
CHAD- Why?
ARTEMIS- Those are the famous “love arrows”.
APOLLO- Un-transform her. It’ll save her energy.
(Chad obeys. Apollo puts healing “stuff” on Tabby’s shoulder)
APOLLO- Now, let her rest. She needs it.
(Apollo and Artemis go to play a challenging game of dominoes. Chad stays by Tabby’s side)
CHAD- C’mon, Tabby. You can make it...you can.
(Hours later. Tabby begins to stir)
CHAD- Apollo! Artemis! Tabby’s waking up!
ARTEMIS- Thank the Fates!
(Tabby’s eyelids open. She moans)
CHAD- Tabby! We thought we’d lost you for a minute there.
TABBY- Ow.
APOLLO- Should I give her some more painkillers?
TABBY- No, I’m fine. Perfectly (looks at Chad) fine.
ARTEMIS- Tabby? I really think you should stay lying down.
TABBY- I’m okay. See? Never felt (looks at Chad again) better.
APOLLO- We’ll leave you alone. You still need to rest.
CHAD- I’m going to stay.
APOLLO- Okay. But...(whispers) if she starts to freak out, lure her through a portal to the desert out there.
ARTEMIS- Apollo!!! (they leave)
(Meanwhile...)
APHRODITE- Hathor, for once you’ve done something right!
HATHOR- Thank-you, my Queen.
EROS- You did good.
APHRODITE- Yes.
HATHOR- There is no way to tell what hidden feelings of the Lunarian’s will surface, though.
APHRODITE- That’s where. Eliott comes in...
(Shortly, Eliott answers his beeping communicator)
ELIOTT- Yes?
HATHOR- This is Hathor, I shot the Lunarian with a silver arrow. You need to follow her and find out what feeling has been uncovered so we can further exploit it.
ELIOTT- To hear is to obey. (turns off communicator)
ELIOTT- Oh...my head...what’s wrong with me??
(It is later, and Tabby is now in her bed at home. Chad has just left.) (In the living room)
CHAD- Bye, Mrs. Trapp. (with hearts)
MOM- Bye, Chad. Tabby sure is clumsy, isn’t she? Who’da thought that she could ever fall down a flight of stairs, land and get her head stuck in a bucket of pork chops, get chased by a German Shepherd and run through a stained glass wall on the third story of a building downtown? It’s lucky those rosebushes broke her fall.
CHAD- Um, it sure is.
MOM- Tabby is lucky to have a friend like you. Not everyone would help her across town after such a nasty fall.
CHAD- Yeah. See ’ya!
(He leaves. On his way next door to his house, he runs into Eliott)
CHAD- Hey!
ELIOTT- Hello, Chad. I see you are returning from Tabby’s.
CHAD- Yeah. She...uh...had a pretty nasty fall downtown. Fell out a third-story window.
ELIOTT- Sounds painful.
CHAD- Yeah.
ELIOTT- Do you suppose I could go up to see her?
CHAD- Of course.
(Eliott goes to Tabby’s door.)
MOM- Yes? Who are you? Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any, unless its that delightful facial cleanser.
ELIOTT- Um, no. I’m Eliott, one of Tabby’s friends. I heard about Tabby’s unfortunate injury and I came to see her.
MOM- Okay. Her room is upstairs, first door on the left.
ELIOTT- Thanks.
(he goes to Tabby’s room. Tabby is in bed, reading a “MONKEY GIRL” comic)
ELIOTT- Tabby?
TABBY- Eliott? What are you doing here??
ELIOTT- Chad told me about your accident. Are you okay?
TABBY- Yeah. I’m fine. My shoulder just hurts a little. I have a really deep cut and its probably going to get infected. Wanna see?
ELIOTT- Um...no. But how are you really feeling? Any difference in your um, feelings??
TABBY- Gee, Eliott. That sounds really gay.
ELIOTT- Well, excuse me for caring!! I’ll just go. You shall probably die. I won’t care. In fact, I’ll be glad.
TABBY- I’m sorry! Please don’t go! I’m so very lonely. Since Chad left. I don’t-I don’t even really know why.
ELIOTT- (thinking) Bingo! (to Tabby) Okay, I’ll stay. And I don’t really want you to die...(thinking)...yet.
(Eliott has left. He talks to Aphrodite is some weird way.)
APHRODITE- Yes? Eliott? What have you found out?
ELIOTT- Its Chad, my queen. Tabby “likes” Chad.
APHRODITE- Perfect!! We’ll get right to work.
(It is exactly one week later. Tabby is in bed on Friday, dreaming...)
(Tabby and Chad are standing on a really, really, high cliff, looking over.)
TABBY- Look! You can see the whole town from up here!
CHAD- There are our houses!
TABBY- Its so pretty.
CHAD- I’m moving in for a closer look.
(he walks to the edge)
TABBY- Be careful. I don’t think its very safe.
(the ground under Chad starts to crumble. He screams)
CHAD- Tabby!!!
(Tabby runs and grabs his hand as he falls)
TABBY- Hold on!!! (the ground under Tabby starts to go)
CHAD- Run, Tabby!! Save yourself!!
TABBY- No, no, I won’t let go! I won’t!!
CHAD- Goodbye, Tabby. (he lets go of Tabby and falls)
TABBY- Nooooo!!!
(Tabby wakes up in a cold sweat and sits straight up)
TABBY- Chad!!!
(Alison is walking by the open door)
ALISON- Chad! (mimickingly) (she laughs)
TABBY- Alison!!
ALISON- What?
TABBY- I don’t know what you think you heard, but-
ALISON- (whispering) Tabby loves Chad. Tabby loves Chad.
TABBY- I do NOT!! I was merely having a nightmare. Chad fell off a cliff.
ALISON- And you, were upset because you love him!
TABBY- No, I don’t!! Listen. If you ever breathe a word of the, er, isolated incident to ANYONE, you won’t live to see the light of day!!! Understand?
ALISON- Of course. I’ll never breathe “one” word of this to anyone.
TABBY- Good. Now let me get dressed.
(Okay. Here is yet ANOTHER gripping look at Aphrodite’s point of view)
EROS- And three, two, one, dream is complete.
HATHOR- Good. Every night for the past week, we’ve given Tabby a nightmare about something horrible happening to Chad. (a pause) That one we gave her last night was pretty lame. What was Aphrodite thinking???
(Its later that day, at Tabby’s school. Tabby is talking to Kay.)
KAY- Have you read last month’s edition of “MONKEY GIRL” yet?
TABBY- No, I haven’t.
KAY- I won’t spoil the ending for you, then.
(At Alison’s school...)
ALISON- Hey, Kenny! (Chad’s little brother, Kenny Twilligher, comes over)
KENNY- Hey, Alison! What do you want?
ALISON- Just wanted to tell you that Tabby screamed your brother’s name in her sleep. Tell everyone you know!
(Tabby, Chad, Eliott, and Ami are walking home, and they stop at the comic book store.)
CLARKE- Hello, kids. The new “MONKEY GIRL” shipment just came in. We also have another comic that might interest you. Its called “GREY SOCKS”. Legend has it that it is written by the great Cheryl Snrub, too!
AMI, ELIOTT, CHAD + TABBY- Wow. (Chad reads it first)
CHAD- This is really spiffy.
CLARKE- Tabby, Chad, will you come here for a minute?
AMI- What’s going on? Are they in trouble?
ELIOTT- More than you could ever know.
AMI- What’s that supposed to mean?
ELIOTT- Nothing.
AMI- No-really! What does it mean?
ELIOTT- Nothing.
AMI- No-really! (it goes on and on)
(In the back room)
CLARKE- Artemis wants to talk to you. Right now.
(A hologram of Artemis appears)
ARTEMIS- Apollo’s oracle has brought to our attention that because of Tabby’s shoulder wound, she is susceptible to Aphrodite’s new plan. She has found a way to send people dreams and nightmares. This new power is, well, new, and Aphrodite can only use it on weak people or people who have suffered a weakening experience, such as Tabby’s wound. Therefore, proceed with extreme caution. And good luck to the both of you.
TABBY- (thinking) Okay, I get it now. Aphrodite sent me those dreams.
CHAD- Come on. Eliott and Ami are waiting.
CLARKE- Yes, I’d better go back into the main room myself.
(They go back to main room)
AMI- No-really! What does it mean?
ELIOTT- Nothing.
AMI- No-really! What does it mean?
ELIOTT- Nothing.
AMI- No-really! What- (Tabby interrupts)
TABBY- We should get going.
(They pay for “GREY SOCKS” and the new “MONKEY GIRL”. They leave the store)
(Chad is at his house, reading “GREY SOCKS”)
CHAD- Wow. The Snrub’s have done it again. What an ingenious plot line!! And this time, its combined with the art of that artistic genius, Chise! And such clear handwriting!!
(Kenny comes in)
KENNY- Hi, Chad.
CHAD- Get out of my room!!
KENNY- But Chad, its important!
CHAD- What is it?
KENNY- Alison said that Tabby said your name in her sleep.
CHAD- You know not to listen to Alison. Now go away.
KENNY- But Chad-
CHAD- Naa Naa Naa! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! (he leaves) But-hmm. I wonder...
(at Tabby’s house, the phone rings)
TABBY- Hello?
CHAD- Hi, Tabby. Listen, um...Kenny just told me Alison said you said my name in you sleep. I know its silly, but-
TABBY- What?!? Alison, you little wench!! Get in Here!!!! Hold on, Chad.
ALISON- What, Tabby, sister dearest???
TABBY- You told Kenny?!? You said you’d never breathe a word of this to ANYONE!!!
ALISON- I didn’t.
TABBY- What??
ALISON- I breathed several words, not just one!!
TABBY- No! You suck, Alison!!!
(Alison runs off, Tabby picks up phone)
CHAD- Tabby? Are you alright??
TABBY- Yeah. Well, what Kenny said, well...
CHAD- Its true???
TABBY- Yeah. It was a dream...we were on a cliff...people-they fell-and you were gone. It was scary.
CHAD- Aphrodite’s dream control. Don’t worry about it, Tabby. Its nothing.
TABBY- You would understand, wouldn’t you? (with hearts)
CHAD- Yeah.
(Kay is talking to Mary)
KAY- Mary, I was talking to Tabby and guess what?
MARY- What?
KAY- She hasn’t had time to read last month’s “MONKEY GIRL”.
MARY- So?
KAY- Tabby hasn’t had time to read last month’s “MONKEY GIRL”! Doesn’t that strike you as odd?
MARY- A little, I guess. Now that you mention it, I suppose so.
KAY- The day after tomorrow is a Saturday. Lets follow Tabby!
MARY- Okay!!
(Mary and Kay call Miranda)
MIRANDA- Hello?
MARY- Hi! Its Mary-
KAY- And Kay! You’re on speakerphone.
MARY- We were wondering if you’d like to come with us Saturday.
KAY- We’re following Tabby.
MIRANDA- Guys, please don’t stalk Tabby. Its so illegal.
MARY- You never let us have any fun.
KAY- Your loss.
(Miranda calls Tabby)
TABBY- Hello?
MIRANDA- Tabby? Its Miranda.
TABBY- What is it?
MIRANDA- Just wanted to warn you that Mary and Kay are going to stalk you Saturday.
TABBY- Gee, Miranda. Isn’t that illegal?
MIRANDA- I tried to stop them, but-
TABBY- Its okay. Thanks for calling. (they hang up)
TABBY- Why would Mary and Kay want to stalk me?
(Eliott is having a problem. He goes to Hathor for advice)
ELIOTT- Hathor? Could I talk to you? Without-y’know, Aphrodite knowing about it?
HATHOR- Of course. Just come with me.
(They walk out of the palace, into the gardens. There are ivy walls all around.)
HATHOR- The ivy walls cut off one garden from another.
(They pass a really big garden, hidden behind ivy walls. It is built on a really high plateau and you have to climb marble stairs to get to it. Hathor leads Eliott to a much smaller garden. She takes out a key and unlocks the ebony doors.)
HATHOR- Welcome to my garden. (they walk in)
(They see lots of flowers and some Egyptian plants. There is a stream running by a path of marble stepping stones. The stream empties into a pond in the middle of the garden. There are really big goldfish and lilies in the pond. Beside the pond is a marble bench. Hathor and Eliott sit down.)
HATHOR- Only in my garden are we safe from eavesdropping. Now tell me, Eliott. What is troubling you?
ELIOTT- Its just that-well-Tabby-the Lunarian, I mean-she’s my friend. And I don’t know-
HATHOR- Oh. I get it. You’re not entirely sure you want Aphrodite to win.
ELIOTT- Right. How did you know?
HATHOR- Well, when Aphrodite was hypnotizing you, she paused to speak to Eros about Tabby. She mentioned her name. You heard it and it reminded you of your friendship. So now you are not completely under her control. I’ve seen you. You have lapses back to yourself now and then.
ELIOTT- That explains a lot. But who is my true loyalty to?
HATHOR- I can’t tell you. But Aphrodite’s spell is strong.
ELIOTT- How strong?
HATHOR- I’ll show you.
(They exit the garden. Hathor locks the door behind them. They walk back to the largest garden and climb the stairs. Hathor unlocks, but doesn’t open the doors)
HATHOR- Before you make your decision, you have to see this garden. Its Aphrodite’s favorite one.
ELIOTT- It must be the nicest one, then.
HATHOR- Oh? You decide.
(she swings the doors open. They walk in. Eliott’s jaw drops)
ELIOTT- This is her favorite garden?!?
(The garden consists of row after row of dead roses, black and withered.)
HATHOR- The Garden of Broken Hearts. Aphrodite’s trophy case. Each bush stands for a girl whose “love” for another person has gone unrecognized or been rejected. They are all Aphrodite’s triumphs. Broken hearts.
ELIOTT- It seems so big. Bigger than it looks from outside.
HATHOR- There is no way that all the brokenhearted girls in the universe could fit within these walls. The inside is bigger than the outside. Its part of her magic. Feel free to look around. They all have nameplates. Read them. You may be surprised.
(Eliott wanders around, reading some names)
ELIOTT- (reading) Medea...Echo...Eurydice...Ariadne...Calypso...I’ve read about all of these people. I’ll move up a few rows. Hmm...Samantha Weiss...never heard of her...(he looks through them. After a while, he comes to a row of people he know.)
ELIOTT- Alison Trapp...hey! Isn’t that Tabby’s sister? Miranda Smith...Miranda???
HATHOR- Her cat.
ELIOTT- Of course. Mary Scot...huh??
HATHOR- Miranda’s cat.
ELIOTT- Of course. Cherry Graph...Miranda’s cat again??
HATHOR- Everyone was sad when Chibba ran away. (Eliott nods)
ELIOTT- Miranda’s cat...Miranda’s cat...I’m changing rows.
(He goes to the center of the garden and, right there, is the biggest rosebush he had ever see, dead of course.)
HATHOR- And now you have come to the biggest, grandest rosebush in all the world.
ELIOTT- (reads) Aphrodite. What????
HATHOR- ‘Tis true. Aphrodite’s heart was broken when Ares was confined to the Abyss. That was when she, well, went around the bend.
(Eliott is distracted by something he least expected to see-a rosebush that was only half dead. He walks over to it.)
ELIOTT- (reading) Tabitha Trapp...please say thats Miranda’s cat again. (Hathor shakes her head “no”.) You mean...?
HATHOR- Yes. It is the work of Aphrodite’s silver arrow. Slowly but surely, Aphrodite claims another victim.
(Eliott reaches out to touch the rosebush, and he pricks his finger.)
ELIOTT- (to the bush) Ow! Stupid bush. (to Hathor) Thanks for bringing me here. It will help my make my decision as to who’s side I’m on. But one thing I don’t understand...why are you helping me?
HATHOR- Lets just say you are not the only one who is here against their will. Now you should go.
(Eliott transports himself home) (Hathor walks over to a nearby bush with flowers that were once yellow but now are brown. We see the nameplate; it says “Hathor”.)
(Tabby is downstairs, eating dinner with her dysfunctional family.)
MOM- So, what did we all do at school today?
DAD- Something safe, I hope.
MARCUS- We debated several compelling issues that affect many situations in everyday life.
MOM- Such as...?
MARCUS- How cold is concrete?
DAD- Was it a good, safe conversation?
MARCUS- Yes, Dad.
MOM- Alison, what did you do?
ALISON- Nothing. I’ve gone to school and learned absolutely nothing for the past 7 years.
MOM- Alison??? Whats wrong???
MARCUS- I think she’s upset about my experiment.
TABBY- What experiment?
MARCUS- “Who is dumber? Alison or Tabby?” Alison won.
MOM- Marcus, you know I don’t like you experimenting on your sisters.
DAD- Its not very safe.
MOM- Tabby? What about you?
TABBY- My science teacher vomited in the middle of a lab experiment. Some other teacher had to stay with us. He skipped around saying, “If I were Mother Nature...If I were Mother Nature...” and he ignored the lesson plan. We went to the football fields and picked posies. We’re having him again tomorrow, because before he left, our normal teacher told us that he had food poisoning and would be suing the fast-food place he got breakfast at. He said he’d be out for awhile.
DAD- Was it-
TABBY- I was never is any danger. It was safe.
DAD- Good.
(Phone rings)
MOM- Tabby, will you get it?
TABBY- Okay. (picks up phone) Hello?
VOICE- Tabby. I can help you. I know what was in that arrow that you were hit with.
TABBY- Who ARE you??? What do you WANT?!?
(voice hangs up)
MOM- Oh, that reminds my. You have some messages. An unidentified psycho called thrice in the past hour. The first time he said, “Tabby, I can help you. Don’t toss the clues.” The second time he said, “Shiny bits of aluminum foil. I know about Chad.”
TABBY- What did he say the third time?
MOM- Something about working for some Aphrodite person. Tabby, I’m worried about you. You’re not going to strange parks and amusing yourself by jumping into puddles, are you?
TABBY- No! Where did you get that idea?!
(It is now at school the next day. The “If I were Mother Nature” guy is in the background, skipping and saying, “If I were Mother Nature...” Tabby and some of her friends, including Eliott + Chad, are in science.)
SUB- If I were Mother Nature...If I were Mother Nature...
CHAD- Have you ever seen “GREY SOCKS”?
ELIOTT- Unh, yes. I was with you when you got it yesterday.
SUB- Come on, children! Lets go to the grass and look at big, puffy clouds! No need to take that big test your teacher had planned!
CHAD- (raises hand) Excuse, sir...
SUB- Yes?
CHAD- Are you aware that you are wearing bunny slippers?
SUB- I misplaced my shoes.
(the class files out of the room. Tabby looks down at her shoe)
TABBY- I need to tie my shoe. Wait up!
(when she bends down to tie her shoe, we see a hand [really Eliott’s] drop a note on her desk [keeping in mind we only see the hand]) (Tabby looks at the note)
TABBY- Hello! Whats this? (she reads the address)
TABBY- (reading) To the Lunarian-
(Eliott steps out from behind a stage curtain)
ELIOTT- Hello, faithful readers of “LITTLE ARTEMIS”. I’m Eliott and I’d like to be serious for a minute here. I’ll get right to the point. Some of my scenes and/or dialogue in the issue was really gay sounding. It should be known that the author had strayed from her medication while she wrote the garden scenes. She was also kind of, er, upset, because the character I represent is better than her at English. Let is also be known that the character I represent is smarter than her.
VOICE IN BACKGROUND- Hey!!
ELIOTT- Well, anyway-I had to beat the author to death with her own legs. Don’t worry, all you Eliott fans. My character will improve.