9. That "John 3:16" sign guy never shows up at one-act festivals.
8. Athletes don't get to get up at five in the morning, ride a freezing bus to who-knows-where, sit around doing nothing most of the day, pay three bucks for a cold slice of pizza, and get judged by the school janitor.
7. Keith Jackson will never yell, "FUM-BLLLE!" every time you muff a cue line.
6. Everyone dresses the same for athletics, so no one gets to play "Fashion Cop".
5. When you say, "football", two-thirds of the world thinks, "soccer". When you say, "extemp draw", no one knows what you are talking about. At least it is more consistent.
4. A tackle is legal in football, but far more fun in duet acting.
3. No one has ever called for an injury timeout in Entertainment Speaking.
2. Brad Pitt did speech and drama in high school. Therefore it is a safe bet that you, too, will one day be People Magazine's "Sexiest Person Alive".
1. Speech and drama people have a justifiable claim to being better than anyone else.