Development of Choice
The poem, Choice, began as a scene that I had written for possible usage later in a story, possibily being worked into the My Notebook Character storyline. Below is the original scene that had been written in the late 1980s.
He stepped out into the bright sunlight that filled the arena. A hazy cloud of dust floated gently over the bloody ground, giving witness to the gruesome battle that had just taken place. The spectators crowded the benches that circled above him. Their crazed hollers and shouting were deafening. The madness seemed to heighten as the next spectacle of death was staging itself below them. The stench of blood and sweat, combined with the merciless heat of the sun, was overpowering and he began to feel dizzy from it all.
He looked down at himself, surveying his own predicament. He was hastily dressed in an array of mismatched pieces of armor that for the most part did not fit. A rusted shield had been strapped to his left arm and a slightly bent sword placed in his right hand. A metal cap was fitted onto his head as he was shoved out into this arena to face an unknown adversary.
His opponent shuffled out onto the arena floor opposite of him. He wore a similar collection of old bits of armor and tightly gripped a barbed spear in his hand. The scene was set. It would be a battle to the death. A victory meant food and a night's sleep; a defeat meant eternal sleep.
Well, during my Creative Writing class, I decided to try and rework this scene into a poem. The first draft of this poem is provided below. It was when I was reworking this first draft that the poem, Choice, appeared.
Stepping out into the bright sun
A hazy cloud of dust settles
upon the bloody ground
of the arena.
The crowd chanting wildly
a fevered pitch growing
in the air.
A lone figure stands alone
Limp, battered, weary,
smiling
This person stands victorious
awaiting death
he faces the coming
of the ravenous beast
holding his fate in its teeth
Like those before him,
and those after him
Throw the Christian to the lions
is a way of life
Intolerance of others, and
pushing of beliefs
social injustice
demands punishment
of the Christian
With hope unearthly
and fear vanquished
In the initial reworking of this draft, the first line was moved under the seventh line, "in the air." Also the eleventh and twelth lines were moved to the very end of the poem. After having done this, an attempt was made to shorten the poem. The idea of changing the subject of the poem began to form. The second draft of the poem is given below. The working title for this draft was Gladiator, M.D.
A hazy cloud of dust settles
upon the bloody ground
of the arena.
Another victim vanquished
defeated by the
murderous hands
of a surgeon
At this point, the words "dust" and "ground" became out of place and were changed. Then the title seemed unwieldy and was also changed to fit the tightly crafted poem that had formed. The final product looked nothing like where the project had begun, but the process was very revealing of how the creative process can work in poetry.
written by Ben Brick
Go back to the Preface or to Choice
