* You think sexual harassment is rampant, date rape pervasive, domestic violence common and Paula Jones is lying.
* You hate Hillary Jokes!!
* You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice.
* You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is just a blob of protoplasm.
* You are convinced that Frank Capra films and Norman Rockwell paintings are lies and distortions but Platoon, Dances with Wolves and Thelma and Louise are realistic.
* You thought Walt Disney was saccharine sweet and terminally cutesy-pie until it made Pocahontas.
* You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex-education, condom distribution, multiculturalism and ebonics are values-neutral.
* You agonize over threats to the environment such as acid rain and toxic waste but are oblivious to the threats to society such as pornography, promiscuity, and family dissolution.
* You want to legalize Cocaine and outlaw handguns.
* You think cops are pigs and criminals are products of their environment.
* You believe the National Rifle Association helps criminals but the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.
* Jesse Jackson makes sense to you.
* Barbra Streisand makes even more sense.
* You think marriage is obsolete, except for homosexuals.
* You think homosexuality is genetically determined but spouse abuse
isn't.
* You believe that AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.
* You consider the Catholic Bishops noble and idealistic when they
oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but you think they are dangerous
fanatics trying to legislate theology when they defend the right to life.
* You think that the Black Middle Class is a myth created by Newt
Gingrich.
* You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor
and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who
bash the Pope are guardians of Democracy.
* You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional
racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation.
* You view race riots as justifiable expressions of rage of injustice and
fail to see the similarities between a black mob burning a Korean Grocery
Store and a white mob in the Jim Crow era lynching a black man.
* You marched against American involvement in Vietnam, thought the
Gulf War was unnecessary but believe 25,000 troops in Bosnia are vital to our
National Interests.
* You see no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy,
judicial leniency and surging crime rates, or addiction and the entertainment
industry that glorifies drug use, but you believe that Richard Nixon and
Ronald Reagan are responsible for everything horrible that has happened in
the past quarter-century.
* Lastly, You know you're a Liberal if you don't get the point of this
writing!!