Up close and personal with Placebo frontman BRIAN MOLKO
K : What's your nickname and why?
B.M.: Steve calls me Molks. He also calls me Smiler, because even though I laugh quite a bit, I do get a little bit intense.
K : At school, were you a dunce or a teacher's pet?
B.M. : Academically I was pretty good, but in order to be popular you had to be good at sports. I was more interested in the drama club - so I was more of a social outcast.
K : What was your first shag like?
B.M. : I was 14 she was 16. We were in love, and we deflowered each other - it was fantastic.
K : Who's your best friend?
B.M. : I'm married to Steve and Stef. And I have one friend who's a filmmaker and has been working with me on out concert visuals. I also have a very, very close friend who woks in TV. I think it's really important to have a few extremely close friends.
K : What's the best pet you've ever had?
B.M. : A girlfriend of mine at college, after we split up, gave me a goldfish. I didn't change their water and I just kinda watched them die.
K : Have you ever been arrested?
B.M. : No, but I've come very, very close on numerous occasions. My guardian angel must have been working overtime.
K : What would you do if you weren't a rock star?
B.M. : I think I would have probably tried my hand at acting, because it was my first love.
K : How would you describe yourself on a blind date form?
B.M. : Fuckin' hell that's a tough one; 'Artistic person with gender issues seeks adventurous soulmate'.
K : What's the most extravagant thing you've ever bought?
B.M. : I've just bought some art. I did a phone bid at an auction at Christie's in New York. It's a Warhol lithograph of the Moon landing.
K : Who's gagging for a shagging?
B.M. : Well, we have the same tastes here Chainsaw, it's gotta be Asia Argento. It's true that she does look like me, so I guess sexual attraction is often quite narcissistic. Out of the boys who are around, in bands at the moment, I guess the cutest is Som from My Vitriol.
K : Who's gagging for a smacking?
B.M. : Too many people to mention.
K : What's the worst job you've ever had?
B.M. : When I needed money to finish my film at college I shredded documents. It's so mind numbingly boring, I had to amuse myself by seeing how many non-paper things I could put through the shredder before it broke: plastic, cigarette-butts, tinfoil, stuff like that. I almost broke the shredder once.
It was actually part of the inspiration for the new video for 'Slave to the Wage' - old stuff to shred.
K : When was the last time you called home?
B.M. : I spoke to my mom at Easter, and that's probably it."
K : What's your most embarrassing moment?
B.M. : At an airport when we were flying to a festival in Sweden. We all got given our tickets and everybody disappeared to buy some duty-free. I noticed my flight was taking off an hour later than I thought. I was like, 'Oh my God, that's great, I've got loads of time'. After a while I started to notice there was nobody around any more, nobody I recognized. Then I realised I'd been looking at the Copenhagen flight which happened to depart one hour later, I'd held up my own flight for 45 minutes. There was Death In Vegas on board as well as several other bands. The captain was saying, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting for a certain Mr. Molko'. So when I finally walked on the plane there was rapturous applause, but it was incredibly embarrassing.
K : Who would you least like to see naked?
B.M. : Ann Widdecombe (Shadow Home Secretary).
K : What's the best rumour you've heard about yourself?
B.M. : That me and Stefan used to go out with each other.
K : What's in your wallet right now?
B.M. : Just a bit of money, a credit card and some keys.
K : What's your favorite joke?
B.M. : What do you call a Spice Girl with a brain? Pregnant.
K : If you were marooned on a desert island without food, which member of Placebo would you eat first?
B.M. : Steve obviously, he's got a lot more muscle than Stef.
K : Which Placebo song would you donate to a compilation album entitled 'Crap Song of Our Time'?
B.M. : 'Nancy Boy'. I've always felt that it was the most moronic of all the songs that we've ever written. In fact, during rehearsals I'd apologise to the rest of the band for the lyrical content of that song. We've moved on so far since then.
K : What's your drug of choice?
B.M. : Vodka at the moment, with Slimline tonic dahling, 'cos I have to stay fit for my fans...with ice and a slice.
K : What does God look like?
B.M. : She's black.
K : When you die, how do you want to go?
B.M. : I think quietly in my sleep would be fine for me.
© Kerrang! 0ct. 2000
