Sharpshooter

Chuck Yeager once told how hunting as a child made him a flying ace, a hero, rich and allowed him to break the sound barrier. I can't say that for myself but hunting as a child helped me pick up girls.

My name is Gene Kohl. I am over six feet tall, slender with dark hair but have been student and not a lover throughout high school. I did date some but there was only one girl who I took out more than once. I did kiss several girls but most of that kissing was part of a party game and never led to anything serious. I graduated from High School as a virgin but that was only partly due to moral commitment.

I almost lived with a gun when I grew up. I shot a gun for the first time in fourth grade. Dad set up empty cans to shoot at and I soon was matching him at hitting the cans at a distance. He taught me gun safety, how to take care of a gun then he took me hunting.

Hunting was a part of living for my family, literally. My grandfather had a state certificate saying he could hunt anything out of season because hunting provided most of his food and he could not afford to buy meat. He and grandma live on about half an acre where they raise vegetables. Grandma cans the surplus and they eat quite well with the meat Grandpa brings home. They only buy milk, bread and fruit.

My family is better off but Dad enjoys hunting so he bought a license and took me with him but I don't need a license until I am sixteen. We enjoyed exotic meats, pheasant, deer, rabbit but no spotted owl. I grew up hunting and never had an accident or pointed a gun at someone, even inadvertently.

I joined the Rifle Club in High School. Most of my friends had guns in the trunks of their cars all the time and they weren't prohibited in school for we could use the rifle range in the basement. The only restriction was you could not keep ammunition in your locker with the gun. Ammo was kept locked in the rifle range. Our club shot competitively and we won most of our tournaments. I have shooting trophies and pictures all around my bedroom at home.

Now I am in College and doing very well in classes. They don't have a gun club or a rifle range and I only have time to hunt once a month for as a Chem. major I have a lot of classes and labs. I have several close friends who hunt and one is from the college town. We can clean and dress at his house our meat before taking it to the frozen food locker. Sometimes we cook it at his parent's place. Every week we have a Hunt Dinner with dates included but I haven't the time to date girls very much.

My only other activity at school is attending all the college wrestling tournaments. It is truly skilled and exciting with different weight classes so you can watch small guys as well as big guys who wrestle well win matches. One day I met two of the wrestlers in the library. They introduced themselves after I recognized them. Bob Stratten is about five foot seven and stocky. He is a creative writing major. Guy Arden has thin brown hair, blue eyes, is about six feet tall and wiry and is a drama major. After studying we went for coffee together.

I asked Bob why he chose his major. He answered, "I love to write, maybe even more than reading. I hope to be good enough to write professionally but I am best at humor so I doubt I'll be a serious writer. How about you? Why do you want to be a chemist?"

I told them honestly I didn't know. "Chemistry is more difficult than Physics and there isn't much math. I am taking all the Physics and Math I can get in and hope to be able to apply more theory to Chemistry. What about you, Guy?"

Guy said simply he wanted to be an actor. "I want to go to New York and Broadway but if I can't make it there I'll go to Hollywood. All through school I loved to talk. I was in all the play in High School and was on the Debate team. As a Drama major I've been in several plays here except I can’t be in our first play this year because of a conflict."

Bob asked me why I attended the wrestling matches. "Mostly we get girls who date wrestlers or want to date wrestlers. About the only guys who come are relatives, friends or fraternity brothers. Did you wrestle before?"

"No, I've wrestled but only to fool around. I just prefer individual sports to team sports. I play tennis, golf and target shooting so I guess I like to watch individual performance. They don't have target shooting here and tennis and golf are in the spring so I picked wrestling to see what it was like to watch. Like tennis and golf you can see an individual do their personal best like that Kovac last week who beat the conference champ. I've only seen him wrestle twice but he lost both and sort of badly. His record isn't good but there he was victorious. Maybe I like underdogs, I don't know."

When I mentioned my interest in target shooting they suggested I go with them to Franklin, a small town an hour’s drive away, this weekend. "They have a carnival this weekend and carnivals always have a shooting gallery."

We left Friday afternoon. We shared expenses in advance for gas and a motel room with three beds. That all came to $16.25, or about $5.50 each. That may not sound like much but my weekly spending after room and board is only $5. They guaranteed that we would end up ahead after the trip was over.

"Why do you want a target shooter," I asked as Guy headed north.

"You'll see," answered Guy. "Carnivals are a lot of fun. Have you ever been to one before?"

"County Fairs, mostly," I answered.

"Did you ever shoot at their shooting gallery?"

"No. I really don't have much money and from what I hear they purposely have the sights set wrong on their guns. I mostly like the rides at the County Fair."

Bob asked, "Can't you mentally compensate for bad sights?"

"Sure. It takes concentration but it isn't hard to do as long as you can tell how far you miss."

"So you can do it. Great!"

It was Guy who asked me, "Did they have wrestling at your County Fair?"

I thought about it and slowly answered, "I don't think so?"

"They usually do," said Guy. "They like to challenge the strong farm boys who don't know what they are doing so the Carnies usually win. That's why we go. The prize is $50 and we know how to wrestle better than the Carnies. Carny is a slang term for carnival or a person who works in a carnival."

Bob picked it up. "There are some other slang terms you should know. One type of Carny to avoid getting into trouble with is a roustabout. That originally meant a member of a ship's crew who performs manual labor but now is also used for carnival workers. They are strong and tough but worst is they are rough. They will club you with a hammer rather than lose. Any carnival that has a local win a fight will end up out of business. The roustabouts do what they have to do so never anger them."

"When you hear the cry, 'Hey Rube!" you should start to move away. This universally-understood call for help ?us against them, show people versus the locals. Nobody stops to ask whether the fight resulted from the righteous anger of a mark who tipped to or realized his exploitation or from a bunch of yokels trying to rough up a Carny. It doesn't matter, at the cry of 'Hey Rube!' the show people rushed to the aid of their fellows and they don't care why or who gets in the way."

Guy went on. "There is the pitchman, a person who hawks novelties, jewelry, etc. as at a carnival or from a stand on a city street. They are peaceful in the sense they really can't hurt you but in a fight, they do their share. A pitchman though can talk you into nearly anything."

"What is a carnival?" I asked. "Is it different from a fair?"

Bob answered, "The term carnival often means a traveling show that includes rides, games of skill, and sideshows. They appear as part of state and county fairs or independently at resorts or in the parking lots of shopping malls."

Guy then explained, "Fairs are exhibition markets held at regular intervals, which often include entertainment. They serve important social, political, and economic functions. Fairs in ancient Rome included the reading of public announcements. Those at Champagne in France, Aix-la-Chapelle in West Germany, and Stourbridge in England helped to break down medieval insularity by stimulating the exchange of ideas and skills as well as international commerce. By the 15th century, as shipping developed and feudalism declined, fairs had become less important to trade, although they continued as centers for entertainment."

Bob finished up as we were entering the motel parking lot. "Not all are in the past. Some modern fairs that function as important trade exhibitions and markets, a notable example being the annual international book fair held in Frankfurt, West Germany. Other trade shows held for specialized markets--like food dealers--are sometimes called fairs."

The first thing we did was to look for a shooting gallery. Guy told me it was in the midway. "That's the center of the carnival as opposed to the amusement area that is mostly for kids or the sideshow, where they have the freaks and geeks."

I looked puzzled and he explained that. "Freaks are people or animals with naturally unusual features such as being unusually tall or short, fat, strong, or a bearded lady, Siamese twins etc. Geeks create their weirdness, tattoos, body-piercings or mutilation."

The shooting gallery was near the entrance to the sideshows surrounded by rows of buncombe places; baseball toss, coin tosses to win dishes, test how strong you are so if you hit the bell you win et cetera. I went up alone and paid a dime for three shots. If I hit something I would win a prize. My first shot was a miss then I made an adjustment so I got a bulls-eye then purposely missed the third. I got a stick of black jack chewing gum for my dime. I gave the wrestlers the gum and didn't add my paltry dime to the kitty.

Then we went to the wrestling tent. The sign said if you spent three minutes in the ring with the "Araguaya Giant" you would win $50. The entry fee was $10 or $6.60 apiece for both wrestlers so I was in for twelve bucks now. Bob went first for he was the smaller of the two. The "Araguaya Giant" got in the ring and the bell rang. In a half minute Bob had the "Araguaya Giant" pinned to the mat. The Giant kept struggling, twisting and crawling but couldn't get up until the three minutes were up. Bob won $50! The ring master paid but he was very angry. Then he paid Guy his fifty rather than having his wrestler lose again so we had a hundred with an outlay so far of about $36.

Guy and Bob went to find some girls while I went with $10 to go shooting. Now we had spent $46 and won $100. I paid the guy a buck to start and picked up the same gun I had used before. I started hitting bulls-eyes and could either win more shots or a prize. I took more shots as the guys were not back yet. Whenever I shot all of the bullets in a gun the guy took it to reload it and gave me another so I had to test the sight again.

When they did get back they had four girls. Both Bob and Guy picked their girls while I got my choice of the other two, Sherry, a tall, slim brunette and Millie, a short bottle blond with a great body. One of the two picked out a giant Panda Bear that was bigger than she was. She was very happy. I kept shooting until all four girls had the prize she wanted.

I kept shooting, selecting prizes for the girls and getting more free shots. I settled on one girl, Millie. I was here for fun after all. I gave her extra prizes but the other girl, Sherry, didn't mind.

The shooting gallery guy made me stop and said he would buy me out of free shots. He offered me my $10 but Guy, looking mean, said it should be more so we got $20.

We took our girls around to play at the other stands on the Midway. Now we had actual spent $25 with my rebate and were $100 ahead. We had paid for our hotel. Any money we spent now on ourselves or our girls was our own.

I asked Millie where she went to school. "I'm a senior at Franklin High, she said."

I guessed she lied. She was probably a junior but stayed silent. Finally she went on, "Franklin was in the finals for the state basketball tournament last year and this fall the football team should win their division for they're doing very well."

I asked her if she liked Franklin, the town?

"It's a fun town. The kids are great and we have a lots of activities at school and clubs. There is a movie here and another 8 miles away. The town meeting hall is a rec-room with dances for kids every Saturday night and the high school has several dances on Friday nights. There is a lake for swimming and one for boating and water skiing. My cousin lives in the State Capitol and she says it's dull there."

We tossed pennies trying to get dishes that were worth about twenty cents and less wholesale. It was fun as long as you didn't get carried away. We went to other places on the midway to throw baseballs, quoits, basketball toss, and other games of skill. All seven of us were having a good time.

I noticed that Bob and Guy just put their arms around their girl's shoulder as if they knew each other for ages. I knew I would be nervous but just decided to do it and swung my arm up behind Millie and gently put my hand on her shoulder. She squeezed closer to me. That was it. Usually it took me three dates to get my arm on a shoulder but then I usually got a kiss. I just kept my arms around her as we went around the carnival.

Sherry, being the odd girl said good-bye and went to look up other friends of hers to go somewhere else. The rest of us went to the amusement area for some rides. There were Bumper Cars, Tilt-A-Whirl, a Ferris Wheel, Laffland and several Kiddie Rides including a carousel. We all took the carousel then I took Millie on the Ferris Wheel that was about two stories high. The operator stopped it at the top and I got a kiss from Millie. Everyone was looking. What could she do?

We bought cotton candy and headed for the sideshows. We all went in to see Elmer McCurdy famous outlaw who was killed in 1911 during a shootout with the Sheriff after a bank robbery. It was his mummy or corpse and it seemed to glow in the dark. Millie did not like that at all.

I took Millie in to see the half snake, half woman who turned out to be a pretty girl's head sticking through a hole in a board with a three foot long snake wiggling. I guess she was holding the snake by the head beneath the board. Millie didn't like that either so that was the end of the side shows for us.

We walked with the others who saw performers and not gross things. There was the illustrated man who was tattooed all over his body. Bob told us afterwards, "He laid on a Bed of nails and his assistant put weights on him but he showed no sign of pain. There was a man who ate fire and swallowed swords, then a bug-eating girl who was 5?" tall & 113 lbs and also walked on glass. She was heavily pierced and tattooed all over her face. She was dressed as a Jungle Girl."

We took the girls to dinner. On the way Guy stopped to buy a pint of bourbon for $1.50 and put it in his coat pocket. The girls wanted to go to the Free Bits Cafe.

The girls told us this restaurant had a T-bone steak for 95 cents. This was a small town and that was expensive here but about average elsewhere. The dinner included an appetizer plate, bread and butter, soup, salad, Jello dessert and coffee. Extra coffee cost a nickel.

We ordered soft drinks, the girls wanted Pepsi and we guys had 7-Up. Guy added bourbon under the table to all who wanted it. Then Bob and Guy told about all the schools they had visited for wrestling.

Guy told us, "The University of Colorado is quite a party school. On the first day of the year the Dean pointed out some of the rules for the students. 'The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.' He continued, 'Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?' At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, 'How much for a season pass?'"

Bob had a story about finals. "Four wrestlers at Northwestern decided to go to a party with some friends the weekend before finals, However, after all the partying, they slept all day and missed the final. They explained that they had a flat tire on the way, didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final now if they were ready. He gave each a test he took from the drawer of the desk and they started reading the problems The first was worth 5 points and was easy. 'Cool,' they thought, 'This is going to be easy.' When they finished the problem they turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?"

I told a wrestling joke. "Hiring college wrestlers as teachers has a social value. It will make sure free school lunches will go to needy instead of the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in school."

Bob said, "You can say the same thing about marksmen!"

Guy asked, "Can you tell when you are too involved with Wrestling?

Bob said, "You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response."

Then Guy told us, "Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to assault it."

I said, "When your bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it."

Guy suggested, "You don't understand why there are wars when a grudge match would settle everything."

Bob winked and said, "When you say you have "put the moves" on your girlfriend, you really mean you put the moves on her!"

The girls said they'd heard enough so Guy suggested, Having a college wrestler as President will make him more effective in dealing with the Russians and the only problem would be he would shout the entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera!

But Bob was concerned. "There can be problems though. If Professional wrestlers controlled the Government it would become a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners . . . Hey, wait a minute . . . "

The girls were laughing for most of the meal and seemed to be enjoying themselves. Afterwards we had extra coffee so the total came to about $7.50. Now we had spent about $33 total.

The girls all went to the bathroom before we left. Then the girls suggested we go to the park so that's where we went. The park had a baseball diamond with one set of bleachers behind the screen. There were no lights save for the moonlight and the streetlights. We sat in a group and passed the bottle around. Millie didn't want to drink so we went for a walk around the field, talking.

I wondered what I should do. Normally it takes three to even seven (if ever) dates to kiss a girl and I was already there. Going further was dangerous. First was the risk of pregnancy and that meant I would have to marry her. Next came the risk of Venereal disease and that could kill you. I only knew Syphilis could kill you but didn't know what Gonorrhea would do and didn't even know what the clap was. Because Millie let me kiss her right away I decided not to try to go all the way.

Millie started the conversation. "You guys go to college?"

"Oh, I'm just a high school girl. I don't think I'll go to college. I don't have that gooda grades. My mother wants me to go into nursing but I don't know. I have to decide by the end of the year."

I asked her. "What things are you thinking about?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess beautician or secretary are my main choices." She paused and I let us walk along in silence until she decided to go on. "I just don't want to just get married. Most of my friends want to move to a bigger city and I guess I will too."

"I thought you like it here," I said.

"I like it here but once you’re out of school there's nothing to do."

"How about being a teller in a bank," I suggested. "My Aunt became a teller and did well. They don't pay all that well but she was good at it and made it worth her while. When she got married she moved to another town and became the book keeper for the local factory. When she had children they let her work half days while her kids were in school. And she is treasurer of every organization she belongs to."

"I don't know," she said with a slight whine. "I don't think I'd be good at that. I like people and . . . don't say I should become a waitress. I don't want to wait tables."

I stopped walking and pulled her tight against me so her cheek was against my shoulder. "I won't tell you that. I suggested you become a nurse, remember?" Then I kissed her.

We walked across the park holding and kissing each other until we got to a set of children's swings. I pushed her on the swing taking advantage of times to hold her back and nuzzling her neck before letting her go. Then she wanted me to swing with her and challenged me to swing as high as she could. I did that but could never get higher than she was able to get. When we were tired we walked further until we found a picnic area where I set her on the wall, sat next to her and we petted.

She stopped me finally, saying she would have to get back. We walked straight back to the playing field where the others were straightening their clothes.

Guy drove his girl home last but at each stop there was lots of undercover operations! All the girls were hugging their Panda Bears as they went inside.

At the motel we finished off the bottle and talked before going to sleep.

"Well," Guy started. "what do you think?"

"I think it's great. I had a great time, met a nice girl and we all came out ahead."

Bob laughed. "Nice girls aren't really the point. You do have to be careful with small town girls though. They see us as their ticket out. Next time we will find an older girl for you."

I asked them, "How were your girls?" They told me.

Guy said, "I think I win. That girl couldn't wait."

Bob answered, "Either that or she didn't know anything else to do. But you did win; I got to third base but then the side retired. What about you Gene? How far did you get?"

"I got as far as I wanted to go. I think she wanted more but she was relieved."

Guy added, "What do you think? Did you have a good time?"

I smiled and they both laughed. "I had a great time!"

"Want to do it again?"

"Just set a date," I said eagerly

"OK. We can't go to the same Carnival twice in the same season. They will remember us. There are two other Carnivals around. We just have to watch the ads to see where they are when."

Guy changed the subject. "About that money we made. I think you should buy some rubbers with some of it. Rubbers are advertised as stopping VD and that's important but they also stop her from getting pregnant. They are sort of expensive and they don't last too long but buy a three pack at least before we go next time."

Bob reached back and gently poked me in the arm. "Don't wait for the next trip. Get them soon. Some guys use a dozen a term."

The next morning we were up early for breakfast. Everyone was hungry and that cost $3 including tip. We drove back on our remaining gas

We spent $38 over all and had $100 in prize money so my share was $21, nearly a month's spending money and I got two great friends.

Most of all though, it improved my dating life. I had more confidence and felt easier with girls.

Take Chem. Lab for instance. My Chem. Lab had girls who were Home Ec. majors where Chemistry was required. One of the girls was cute and I had stared at her while the lab instructor spoke. A guy has to look somewhere. Her name was Alice and she was very pretty although a little plump. But she was plump in some great places. She had a great smile and auburn hair than sometimes shone like fire when the sun was behind her.

After that trip I had the courage to ask Alice after lab if she wanted to go for coffee. We had a great time walking over and sat by ourselves at a small table as we drank. Alice told me she was a fan of Broadway Musicals and so am I. Neither of had seen more than a couple of Musicals as we had never been to New York but we both had recordings and discussed our favorite songs. She sang softly but beautifully. I asked her to a dance. Holding her close was a fantastic experience.

We saw Bob there and the four of us went for a snack afterwards. The girls let Bob tell wrestling stories and I told some hunting stories. I was surprised when I got a kiss when I took her to her Sorority. I asked her to the next Hunt Dinner where I had a pheasant and a rabbit to share with the company.

I asked her out to study the next afternoon. We studied in a small Chem. classroom. Then she showed me another use for a lab bench and a different chemistry that didn't smell bad. Alice was not interested in dating one guy only but we did go out off-and-on for a year.

I dated other girls as well. Soon I learned you didn't have to have a lot of money to date. Girls just liked to have fun and meet people.

For the rest of my college career I went with wrestlers for two or three weekends at Carnivals. I had a lot more fun than the first time but like most first times, it is the one you remember.

What Ever Happened to The Playboy Bunnies? 

My Favorite Web Sites

Summers 
California Sesquicentenial 
Cybernetic Systems 
Foreign Language  
Gaea  
Golden Goddesses 
Humour 
Monarch Screw and Bolt Co. 
Network for Educators in the Workplace (N.E.T.)  
Opera and Art 
Click 
Starfleet Acadamy 
Sunnyside