| The I.B.R. According to Levi (Cleese) Perkins | "The Fuhror of Bonn" by Joey (Palin) Harris |
| IBR Python Comparisons According To Joe | Keefer according to Levi |
Well it's been several years since our little group had its humble beginning at that piss-ant little hole in the wall of a school, McMillan Junior High. Since then we have grown and matured into a group that can really only be described as unique. Of Course in saying that what I really mean is that some of us (namely me) have moved away to different places And more people have been added or thrown out. Brian Williams and I are the two members that have moved away and are still important assets (and in some cases liabilities) to the group. Another member that has since moved away (Brian Keefer) is unable to return for filming from his stupid, odd, little lifestyle in a place called fairy land. And do you know what I say to that? Good Riddance! I never liked the guy anyway. But now to the actual point of this little spiel (pronounced SCH-pee-l), The fact that we have all compared each other to previous members of the Monty Python cast.
First I shall start with me (Levi Perkins) Because, quite frankly I consider myself to be my favorite member. I have been compared to John Cleese. This is Because of my very blunt humor and sarcasm. I like this comparison mainly because it means that I will be one of the few to have an actual career if this thing ever ends (which I sincerely hope that it does not). Next is our Michael Palin of the group, Mister Joseph Harris. He, like Palin, is our quiet, script writing, behind the scenes man. There is a reason for this and I will tell you what it is. Joe is ugly. Oh, I know that there are nicer ways to put it, more delicate ways of saying it, but I figured, "screw that, it's my essay'". And besides, Joe is perfectly content with his place, and I'll tell you what, he seems to like sleeping in a drawer. Now Let's move on to Andy. I don't know about anyone else but I say Andy's more of a Terry Gilliam. He's kind of an if-y guy and he's really sort of... well... Andy. There is not much one can say about that afterwards. Brian Williams is our true Graham Chapman. He can look totally dignified one minute and the next minute the goofiest son of a bitch you have ever seen. And another case in point is that we will be making fun of Williams long after he is dead and buried, just like Chapman is to Monty Python. Next is Brett. What can one say about Brett? Nothing! Not one Thing! Not one fucking thing! What about Tom Bertino you say? Tom, is what I consider to be our answer to Terry Jones. He's not really the character you remember the name of, but when you see him playing the pump organ naked, it's quite an hilarious site. Tom has spent next to three years trying to gain our respect and acceptance and he has earned absolutely nothing and probably never will. Before I start these next two comparisons, I want to let all of you know that I am NOT I repeat am NOT The Python expert of the group. If you want him talk to Joe. Anyway, There were never any official female members of Monty Python, but, as far as I'm told, there were two vastly important women who worked with the Pythons and (coincidentally) we have two great women helping us in our project[s]. Ramona Adair, I hear, is our, reproduction of John Cleese's wife, whose name I do not know. And if you are a smart ass who just sighed and sarcastically "gave" me the name, you need to lay off the steroids man! And Jessica Perez, who is also incredibly important to the group takes the place of another woman who worked with them, who again I have no clue about the name. I will not say anything to insult these girls, as if they were to leave, everyone in the group would be S.O.L. and they would be mad at me and I would surely obtain a beating (rubber hose optional). Now, I know what all you people out there are saying, "Levi? Dumb-ass? Aren't you forgetting something? Is Keefer supposed to be Eric Idle?" Well, first of all no I am not forgetting anything or else I wouldn't be typing this, and screw you. Second of all... Not only no, but, HELL NO! Not in a million fucking YEARS would I consider that idiot Keefer our Eric Idle! And third of all Eric Idle is spread out between two of us. And those two people are me, and Joseph Harris. We are the music writers of the group and we have that sort of poppy British psychotic demeanor you see him have at times. Other than that they are all new pink bottoms and I haven't met many of them, nor do I give a rat's ass about them.
Well, I hope that sums up a great deal of what's going on with us for you, and if it doesn't then you can bite me, because I don't really care. I just hope you got a few laughs out of it and when we finish our movie, I hope you'll download it or whatever and enjoy.
Sincerely,
John Cleese's replacement,
Levi Perkins
What would the IBR be without its movies? Nothing, that's right, absolutely nothing! So, that's why we decided to start writing movies as opposed to sketches, but it doesn't let you know where our goofy (and sometimes just sick and wrong) ideas came from.
Well, I guess the best place to start is the beginning. When we first decided to start writing a movie, we were desperately searching for ideas. It was at our winter band concert in 7th grade that we thought of the idea that we would end up using. Actually the idea was Levi's little "brainchild". We were waiting for our turn to go on stage and perform, when Levi said something abut Hitler being in a hot air balloon crash. That's when it hit us, I think. What if we took a popular classic and... well... twisted it around a bit. It just so happened that that year we were playing a 'Wizard of Oz' medley for one of our songs. So what if we took World War II and the Nazi element and based a Wizard of Oz type adventure on that? This made us all laugh for a moment, but then we realized, 'Hey! That's not a bad idea!' And so "The Fuhror of Bonn" was born.
The ideas that went into "The Fuhror" spanned at least 3 ½ years. In a way this was a good thing, because it gave us more time to gather some of the more humorous aspect of the film from later influences. It was a bad thing, though, because in the time it took to complete the writing of the movie, 3 of the members moved away. Levi, the "funny hippie", Williams, the "goofy son of a bitch", and Keefer (who was not a complete idiot like Levi made him out to be). Before I continue, let me re-emphasize that Keefer was not , I repeat was NOT, worthless, he just didn't contribute as much as most of the others, except Brett, that is. Anyway, back to what I was saying, they left and it was bad.
Our influences can be found all over. For example, the primary goal for this movie was to make it as much like a Monty Python movie as we possibly could. So that was our first influence. Our most important influence, for those of you who are too stupid to figure it out, was us, the writers ourselves. Duh! If you didn't see this one coming, you need to be beaten with a wet camel. God! Where was I? Oh yes, we are gods. OK, for those of you hardcore religious type, the former was a JOKE. We are only gods in the sense that this entire movie came from the wacky portion of our body that we call our brains. Now, although humans only use like, I don't know, 10% or so of the brain, the other 90% is the portion that holds all the juicy stuff God didn't want you to remember. If He wanted you to remember these things He would have made you gods like the IBR. Like I was saying, we thought this whole movie up on our own.
Another big influence had to have been Mr. Goecke, Levi and my Latin teacher. He made various off-the-wall comments, some of which were incorporated into our movie. For example, one day (and Levi, don't tell me you don't remember this, because I already know) Mr. Goecke was talking to a student about watches, and the kid said to Goecke that his watch was expensive and hard to get. Mr. Goecke cleverly responded with a comment like, 'You probably got it from a scruffy old man in the middle of nowhere selling fake Rolex watches, huh?' This comment was put into the movie as an entire scene. The watch guy scene was based on that entirely. Thanks to Mr. Goecke, who is retired now (he retired at the end of the 2000-2001 school year).
I'm sure we got ideas from other places, but I can't quite recall where. Ah! That's it! If you say something smart to me after this next comment I'll shove your leg into your eye. The Wizard of Oz itself influenced us greatly. Many of our scenes are directly correlated with scenes from the 1939 classic. This about concludes this stupid, God-forsaken, pointless essay about how we created "The Fuhror of Bonn". I'm not gonna end with something dumb like Levi did.
Gork!
(Which is Jo-Rabian for Goodbye)
AND the comedy god looked down upon the Earth, and he saw the Pythons. And the god smiled, for they were good.
2 And so he ended the day, which he forgot to number because he lost count at 7.
3 When the god saw that Brother Chapman had died, he began his quest for a new comedy team to bestow the word of Comedy to the peoples of all lands.
4 And so, this god began his seemingly futile search, until he happened upon a building he had called McMillan Junior High.
5 There he found two young boys sitting at a table, and he smiled, for it was good.
6 He looked up to see that they had plans of making their own comedy team.
7 They were to call it the IBR.
THE god looked at the boys, and he realized they were Joey and Andy.
2 He looked down at Joey Harris, and thought, "This bloody chap reminds me of Michael Palin. Due to his strange ability to be able to do things in a way none would have ever imagined.
3 He seems to be the one that is receptive to various oddball roles."
4 And so, the god deemed the boy Joey (Palin) Harris. And it was good.
5 Next he averted his eyes to the one sitting with Joey, Andy Johnson. The god spoke to his assistant angel, in words that boomed with his might.
6 "Oh Jebodiah," he spoke, "This Andrew guy, he's a lot like Eric Idle. He has that strange ability to do the strangest things and make them humorous. And he's quite different, in that poppy sort of way."
7 "I agree full heartedly, sir," replied the angel.
8 And so it came to pass that the one formerly known as Andy Johnson was then known as Andy (Idle) Johnson.
9 And it was good.
AS time passed (actually it was only about a few hours), the god saw the two boys making words with others.
2 The god saw Levi Perkins. He wasn't very happy.
3 But then, he had an epiphany and decided, that Levi was pretty groovy.
4 And so, he examined the behavior patterns of the Levi, until he was able to make a comparison.
5 "This guy, Levi," the god began, and the trees everywhere were shaken. Some fell over.
6 "This guy Levi, he makes me think of the great John Cleese.
7 He states his opinions right out, much like the noted Cleese.
8 He doesn't hide respect, or lack of, no matter the situation."
9 Levi Perkins thus became Levi (Cleese) Perkins.
10 And it was good. And the god smiled, and then went out back for a smoke.
11 When the god laid eyes on Brian Williams, he immediately knew who would replace the lost Python.
12 "Brian there, he seems like the guy that is the 'glue' of the IBR.
13 If he weren't in the group, I'm sure they wouldn't have finished "The Fuhror of Bonn".
14 Therefore I relate him to the worshiped Graham Chapman.
15 For such as Chapman held the Pythons together, Brian (Chapman) Williams held the IBR together."
16 Again, it was good. But the god was slightly displeased with the worshipping of Graham Chapman.
KEEFER was another person that the god frowned upon on first sight.
2 He glared at Keefer with a look so fierce that Keefer was completely... unaffected.
3 And so, the god decided that he must accept Keefer, therefore he had to compare him. He had trouble, let me tell you.
4 "I think I shall compare Brian to Terry Jones, because he has that whacked out sense of humor, and he's just a strange person"
5 And so, Brian (Jones) Keefer lived his life in a small swamp in North Carolina.
6 It wasn't good, but he lived.
7 Brett was a quiet one. He wasn't too much into the IBR, or so it seemed.
8 Unfortunately, the god didn't know enough about him to make a comparison.
9 And so, the god said, "To Hell with Terry Gilliam*." And we still hear his screams to this day.
THE god, after a hard night of drinking and partying, went back up to his resting place, and took a lie down.
2 Two girls happened into his line of sight. They were Jessica Perez and Ramona Adair.
3 The god saw Jessica Perez, and immediately the words Carol Cleveland seemed to roll off of his lips, unless that was just beer.
4 He just barely got the name Connie Booth to leave his mouth (regarding Ramona Adair) before collapsing in his drunken stupor.
5 And so, Jessica (Carol) Perez and Ramona (Connie) Adair came into the ranks of the IBR.
6 Then the comedy god smiled for he had created a new era in comedy.
7 Or maybe he just smiled because he was too drunk to do anything else.
Nema. (Hic)
*NO OFFENCE TO TERRY GILLIAM, I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM, AS DO MANY OF US. THERE WAS JUST NO ONE THAT WOULD ACCURATELY REPRESENT HIM. SORRY, TERRY.
I know some of you don't like the fact that I don't like Keefer. And the fact of the matter is, is that I don't "despise" him I just never really got along with the guy. He was a really smart guy. He always knew his Monty Python stuff really well, and some of his work that I actually got to see wasn't half bad, it just needed a touch up here or there. I feel I can honestly say that the ONLY reason I didn't really like the guy was that HE COULD NOT TAKE A F*CKING JOKE! When ever you would make a joke at his expense or say something that might offend him in the slightest whether it be something as trivial as calling him something stupid like 'f*ck-face' or 'dumbass' he would get all up in arms and be at odds with you for weeks no matter how little you actually meant it. So I guess the whole, "me not liking Keefer" thing can just be attributed to three years of him not being able to take a joke so I'm still at odds for two weeks for every week I made a joke about him. Which means that if I don't talk to Keefer for a total of SIX YEARS we will be fine with each other. And Hell it's already been one year, we only have five to go.
Sincerely,
Levi
