ANATURAL HISTORY OF
The story of Midnight Bowlers League is a long and complicated one to tell.
It begins back in Austria that a young Chris was roaming the hills and dales and being a part-time au pair to the family of a widowed Nazi officer. Chris managed to escape from the officer and his kids by making a call to Simon Weisenthal while the family was distracted having one of their many sing-a-longs...
It was about this time when a young Tim was fronting a small band in Liverpool, UK. When deciding upon a name, fellow bandmates threw out names like The Quarrymen and The Silver Beetles, while Tim's contribution to the name list was Hey+You+Stupid+Homos+God+I+F'ing+Hate+Your+Limey+Asses. Finally, the majority agreed upon calling themselves the Beatles...
Details from this time period in Tim's life are sketchy, but we do know that it was about this time Timmy started experimenting with fish and chips. His experiments with "LJS" inspired the much lauded "Sgt. Timmy's" album. It was during the recording of this album that Timmy parted company with the group over an arguement about having what Tim called "that f'ing Indian guitar thing" on one of the tracks. With Timmy now out of the band, the album underwent a name change and changed the shape of music as we know it...
A few years later, Timmy took in a touring production of The Rocky Horror Show where he met the show's star Mike. Mike had been playing the role of Dr. Franknfurter in this (way) off-Broadway production. Some of his other roles included Hamlet, Don Giovanni, and a brief stint as the original Ricky Martin in the pop group Menudo (he was yanked from the band when it was learned he was not really of Latin origin)...
This chance meeting (co-inciding with the ushering of the 1970s) led to a partnership between Tim and Mike, and brand new sound--Funk. Tim and Mike went on to form the now legendary Sly And The Family Stone. Afros, bell-bottoms, and black gloved one-fisted salutes were the order of the day. Right on...
Meanwhile, outside Osaka a small-time cult was forming and their guru was none other than Nafa. His inspirational message was one of peace and silly hot pink hats for the masses, and the worship of one supreme deity--Don Knotts. Unfortunately for Nafa, he was excommunicated from his own cult by one of his followers (Shoko Asahara) for blasphemy against the pink hats and for having a generally silly basis for a religion. Nafa made his way towards the United States for a recruitment crusade to re-build his flock, and along the way he met a fleeing Austrian au-pair...
Timmy and Mike had grown weary of their sound and image and it was at about this time that a new sound was rolling over the land--Punk. Punk seemed to fit well with their conservative Republican lifestyle and the two ideas were married one night at a CR meeting in a local bowling alley. Mike and Tim were inspired and released the one-off 7", "G.O.P. For The U.S.A", under their new name Midnight Bowlers League. Unfortunately, all the copies of the single were destroyed when they were accidently left inside Mike's car. Tim vowed to never let this happen again and made sure that there would be easy access to the inside of Mike's car at any time. It was then that they both decided to take a break from music and find a new endevour...
Chris and Nafa met in a dirty boat house in Gibraltar. They got to talking and realized they shared a common dream--professional basketball. Chris was headed to tryouts in Charlotte, NC, while Nafa (ditching the cult-rebuilding idea) decided that Orlando, FL, was the place for him. They both were signed by their respective teams and went on to have successful seasons. So successful that both made it to the NBA All-Star game. It was at this game that Chris and Nafa were introduced to the New Jersey Nets forward Mike and the Chicago Bulls guard Tim...
It was like lightning. All four guys hit it off quite well and realized that it was no sheer coincidence that they met. They decided to try to write music together. Their initial collaboration was with Brian of the Backstreet Boys in the Down-The-Street-Two-Blocks-Over Boys. All four were kicked out of the group after they attacked Brian because they realized he was an idiot...
With a quick shift in direction, next came the Spice-Boys-And-One-Girl. Sure wearing falsies and skirts was fine, but the boys drew the line when it came to getting a full-on sex change operation. There was a near tragedy when the other three forgot to tell Mike that they had decided against the operation. Luckily the call came through right before the surgeon's knife did...
Their final incarnation was as Marilyn Masters And The Spooky Kids. No comment...
Which brings us to the present. It has been a long trip, but they finally have found their niche. Interested in how they turned out? Then visit: Midnight Bowlers League
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